This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Babes, **Jabba the Hutt** is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck you asshole" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

My wife screamed at me, "You're obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I'm leaving you."

"May divorce be with you!!" I replied.

Here's an old one. Who curses the most in Star Wars?

R2-D2, everything he says is bleeped out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Nsfw] My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the Dark condoms so I could impress her with my "lightsaber".

The nigh...

Obi Wan: “Yoda, why did the Star Wars movies come out 4,5,6,1,2,3

Yoda: “In charge of scheduling I was”

Star Wars names

My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter Chewbacca not as much.

Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?

Emperor Palpatine

Why is vodka so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe?

Because only Siths deal in Absolut.

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

What's a stoner's favorite Star Wars movie?

The Hempire Strikes Back.

Apparently there’s a battle for the rights to Star Wars aftershave.

It’s “The Cologne Wars.”

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

A piece of retconned canon from Star Wars has a danger of causing glaring plotholes in upcoming Disney films and series.

It's what is known as "a loose canon."

Since its may the 4th, I decided to watch the classic Star Wars trilogy with my girlfriend.

First time she ever saw Chewbacca, and she thought he was an Ewok... ... ...

Classic wookie mistake.

(Oldie, but never gets olde)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife we can have sex or go see Star Wars, she said, I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out.

But she pulled some strings and got me in..

Please enjoy my best ever Star Wars themed joke...

Irving was proud of his daughter Faith. She was the prettiest, smartest, most charming girl in all the Empire. And when Faith was asked to attend the Winter Gala by Conan Antonio, Irving was justifiably pleased, for Conan was a well-decorated and many-times-promoted military man of great respect....

Now i know why the Star Wars movies were released as 4, 5, 6, 1, 2 and 3 in that order

"Because to be in charge of the planification, i was tasked" Yoda once told me

Star Wars is about the eternal conflict between two opposing forces. One headhunts children across the galaxy, puts them into a religious cult, indoctrinates them, even forbids them from having a relationship, then sends them off to die in the nearest war.

The other is the Sith.

My friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character.

You should have seen the Luke on her face.

Latest results from the Star Wars Cup.

OB - 1, R2D - 2

Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?

It’s called the Man-DeLorean.

Quarantined Star Wars troopers be like "I miss people"

First off all, you always miss.

What do you call an invisible Star Wars droid?

C-thru-PO

What did the Star Wars fan with a lisp say?

May the Fourth be with you.

Oh, sure everyone loves Star Wars on May 4th...

Until you tell your nephew you’re his father!

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

My brother's still single on star wars day.

Apparently he's been looking for love in Alderaan places.

Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

Why does Star Wars have a classical music score?

Because the Empire likes Bach!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the most popular Star Wars action figure in Japan?

Toy-Yoda.

how do you make a creative Star Wars joke?

you have to think outside of the jarjar

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

why aren't star wars jokes popular?

.

.

.

.

they are usually quite *forced*

(just like this one)

Star Wars Trailer: No one is ever really gone...

"Meesa lead tha First Order to victory now, okietay?"

What’s a Star Wars fan’s favourite drink

Qui Gon Gin

What are Star Wars clone troopers muscles built of?

Kamino acids.

What does your Canadian friend cooking dinner for you have in common with the Empire from Star Wars?

Pal-poutine

.
.
.
.
.
Sorry, I'll get my coat.

What do you call someone who tells you that you must see the new Star Wars series?

A Mandatorian

WARNING: STAR WARS SPOILERS

Voosh voosh pew pew pew voosh voosh pew pew voosh force choke voosh pew pew pew

My wife says she's leaving me because of my 'Obsession with Star Wars'

I said 'Please don't go, honey. You're the Obi-Wan for me..............'

Droids claim they were molested by George Lucas during filming for Star Wars...

#R2MeToo

Ever wonder why Star Wars has so many plot holes?

It's because the stormtroopers keep missing

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

Fozzy Bear was in Star Wars

He was an Ewokka-wokka

My son's Star Wars joke.

What do you give to a stinky Jedi?

De-Yoda-rant

My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D...

... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.

In the original Star Wars Peter Mayhew once had to redo a scene because he missed his cue.

It was a Wookiee mistake

RIP Peter.

How do you call a Star Wars movie about Luke’s journey to solving his erectile problems?

The Rise of Skywalker.

Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet...

But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

The way Star Wars should've ended. SPOILER

Old Lady- "What's your name?

"Rey"

"What's your surname?"


.....Long dramatic pause......


"Binks."

Fade to Black

Star Wars and Giant Space Lasers

Still a better love Story than twilight

In Star Wars, what language is used to program droids?

JawaScript

How do you know your phone has a full battery in the Star Wars universe?

Chargar Blinks

My Star Wars obsessed son wouldn't stop asking for a car.

So I bought him a toy Yoda.

My wife told me she was leaving me because she couldn’t live with me always making stupid Star Wars puns.

I said, “Divorce is strong with this one…”

How did the Star Wars fan spend Valentine's Day?

Solo.

Star wars joke

Han solo: Yoda are we going the right way?
Yoda: Off course we are

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

1 My kid’s made up Star Wars joke: What does Darth Vader exhale?

Carbon Darkside

Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?

He played the force.

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?

Bicarbonate of Yoda

Everybody is all about "May the fourth be with you" because of Star Wars.

Meanwhile people with a lisp are complaining, "you bathtardth, we've been thayin it the thame way for yearth and nobody hath ever done thit for uth!!!!"

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

What do you call a Star Wars themed all you can eat restaurant?

Bo-buffet

Who is the greatest Herbologist in all of the star wars universe?

Yoda, two green thumbs he has.

How did Mace die in Star Wars?

Through the Windu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All of my sexual escapades are like a big budget Star Wars movie

Solo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Star Wars fans don't smoke cigarettes after sex...

They chew 'bacca

As a kid, I once ate a Star Wars eraser...

It was a little Chewie.

Which Star Wars character is obsessed with cheese?

Boba Feta.

I asked my wife to dress up as a bounty hunter from Star Wars

I have a Boba fettish

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.