Who swore the most in star wars?

R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said

My friend asked me if the next Star Wars movies were going to be in 3D

"Yes" I replied "...but they R2D2."

Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun?

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Luke-Warm

I tried asking girls out at a Star Wars convention

I've been looking for love in Alderaan places.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's masturbation called in the star wars universe?

Hand Solo

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

My wife screamed at me, "You're obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I'm leaving you."

"May divorce be with you!!" I replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

Why do Star Wars Jedi absolutely hate having to open PDF files ?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

Star Wars names are just regular words if you put a random space somewhere:

Mos Quito

Que Sadilla

Scu Bagear

Syn Tax

Rev Erse

Mala Mute

Trypto Phan

Cano Nical

Impo Tent

Slee Papnea

Here's an old one. Who curses the most in Star Wars?

R2-D2, everything he says is bleeped out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Nsfw] My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the Dark condoms so I could impress her with my "lightsaber".

The nigh...

My wife loves Star Wars...

so last night we watched all the Mandalorian, back to back!

Luckily, I was the one facing the TV...

For the Star Wars Lovers

Obi-Wan: Why did the movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9?

Yoda: In charge of scheduling, I was.

Party games are so different in the Star Wars galaxy...

For example on Earth you bob for apples, but on Tatooine you Bib Fortuna.

My girlfriend left me because I’m a big Star Wars fan

Looks like tonight I’ll be Han Solo.

Thought this up while driving behind a car with a Star Wars Rebel sticker on it.

What is the favorite type of weather of Stormtroopers?

Mist

My son Luke loves the fact he's named after a Star Wars character

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

Why is vodka so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe?

Because only Siths deal in Absolut.

For my cake day this year I want to share the love I have of Star Wars and dad jokes so here is one of my favorites: Where did Luke get this cybernetic hand from?

The second hand store.

TIL the next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span.

Its name is 80-HD

The biggest tragedy in Star Wars is their lack of information on one of their greatest unsung heroes.

I mean, he brought the Rebels the plans for the second Death Star before he died, but that is all we know about Manny Bothans.

What do you call a star wars bounty hunter who loves tropical fruit ?

Mango Fett.

Bad VR star wars joke

So there's a guy playing at VR game his friend walks into the room and sees him swinging his hands around like he's swinging a lightsaber and he assumes he's playing beat saber and judging from the height of his swings there are a lot of low blocks his friend taps hin on the shoulder and says hey ca...

I was going to make a Star Wars joke today...

But I didn't want to fourth it.

Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?

Emperor Palpatine

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

If you celebrate Star Wars Day too hard tonight...

watch out for the revenge of the fifth.

Why are Star Wars movies released in the order of 456, 123, 789?

Released by Yoda they were

Jonathon Ross forgot to record the new Star Wars film...

What a wookie mistake

I’ve been watching the Star Wars movies, and I realized something

It’s not that big of a shock that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.


I mean, they have the same no’s.

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

Star Wars is about the eternal conflict between two opposing forces. One headhunts children across the galaxy, puts them into a religious cult, indoctrinates them, even forbids them from having a relationship, then sends them off to die in the nearest war.

The other is the Sith.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?

It’s called the Man-DeLorean.

Apparently there’s a battle for the rights to Star Wars aftershave.

It’s “The Cologne Wars.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars.

She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.

My friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character.

You should have seen the Luke on her face.

Quarantined Star Wars troopers be like "I miss people"

First off all, you always miss.

What did the Star Wars fan with a lisp say?

May the Fourth be with you.

A piece of retconned canon from Star Wars has a danger of causing glaring plotholes in upcoming Disney films and series.

It's what is known as "a loose canon."

Since its may the 4th, I decided to watch the classic Star Wars trilogy with my girlfriend.

First time she ever saw Chewbacca, and she thought he was an Ewok... ... ...

Classic wookie mistake.

(Oldie, but never gets olde)

Oh, sure everyone loves Star Wars on May 4th...

Until you tell your nephew you’re his father!

My wife says she's leaving me because of my 'Obsession with Star Wars'

I said 'Please don't go, honey. You're the Obi-Wan for me..............'

A quarterback was being interviewed only moments before the start of the game. The reporter had 3 quick questions: "Your favorite pizza? Your favorite Star Wars character? Your favorite non-football activity?"

His answers were just as brief:

"Hut, Hutt, Hike!"

(OC) Arthur C Clarke was watching Star Wars with his family when he began ranting and raving.

“What is this film?” He snarled. “All they do is lay lands, tap them to produce mana and use that mana to summon creatures and cast devastating spells. I was expecting a space romp.”

“Arthur, come now,” his wife said, “that’s not what this film is about at all!”

“Ignorant woman,” he re...

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

Latest results from the Star Wars Cup.

OB - 1, R2D - 2

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the most popular Star Wars action figure in Japan?

Toy-Yoda.

why aren't star wars jokes popular?

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they are usually quite *forced*

(just like this one)

WARNING: STAR WARS SPOILERS

Voosh voosh pew pew pew voosh voosh pew pew voosh force choke voosh pew pew pew

Star Wars Trailer: No one is ever really gone...

"Meesa lead tha First Order to victory now, okietay?"

Please enjoy my best ever Star Wars themed joke...

Irving was proud of his daughter Faith. She was the prettiest, smartest, most charming girl in all the Empire. And when Faith was asked to attend the Winter Gala by Conan Antonio, Irving was justifiably pleased, for Conan was a well-decorated and many-times-promoted military man of great respect....

Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

Why does Star Wars have a classical music score?

Because the Empire likes Bach!

What do you call someone who tells you that you must see the new Star Wars series?

A Mandatorian

What’s a Star Wars fan’s favourite drink

Qui Gon Gin

What are Star Wars clone troopers muscles built of?

Kamino acids.

Droids claim they were molested by George Lucas during filming for Star Wars...

#R2MeToo

Ever wonder why Star Wars has so many plot holes?

It's because the stormtroopers keep missing

In Star Wars, what language is used to program droids?

JawaScript

In the original Star Wars Peter Mayhew once had to redo a scene because he missed his cue.

It was a Wookiee mistake

RIP Peter.

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

In Star Wars Legends, Rey discovers an unusual force ability...

...this allows her to turn as dark as the night like a shadow and even become the shadows of others, useful for creeping up on enemies. The First Order Stormtroopers spoke about this amazing power having heard about it from a commanding officer Rey fought with the force. "Sir was spun around and kno...

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

What does your Canadian friend cooking dinner for you have in common with the Empire from Star Wars?

Pal-poutine

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Sorry, I'll get my coat.

Star wars joke

Han solo: Yoda are we going the right way?
Yoda: Off course we are

Fozzy Bear was in Star Wars

He was an Ewokka-wokka

How did Mace die in Star Wars?

Through the Windu

1 My kid’s made up Star Wars joke: What does Darth Vader exhale?

Carbon Darkside

Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet...

But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

My son's Star Wars joke.

What do you give to a stinky Jedi?

De-Yoda-rant

Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?

He played the force.

The way Star Wars should've ended. SPOILER

Old Lady- "What's your name?

"Rey"

"What's your surname?"


.....Long dramatic pause......


"Binks."

Fade to Black

Star Wars and Giant Space Lasers

Still a better love Story than twilight

My Star Wars obsessed son wouldn't stop asking for a car.

So I bought him a toy Yoda.

How do you know your phone has a full battery in the Star Wars universe?

Chargar Blinks

What do you call a Star Wars themed all you can eat restaurant?

Bo-buffet

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Star Wars fans don't smoke cigarettes after sex...

They chew 'bacca

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