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Star Wars Jokes

My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.

My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D...

... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's masturbation called in the star wars universe?

Hand Solo

My wife screamed at me, "You're obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I'm leaving you."

"May divorce be with you!!" I replied.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife we can have sex or go see Star Wars, she said, I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out.

But she pulled some strings and got me in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom

My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the D...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you call Mike Tyson if he was a villain in Star Wars?

A Tit Lord

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun?

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Luke-Warm

Star wars joke

Han solo: Yoda are we going the right way?
Yoda: Off course we are

I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea.

I am going to call it Boba Fetish.

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

How did Mace die in Star Wars?

Through the Windu

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

my friend got a face tattoo of his favorite Star Wars character

you should’ve seen the Luke on his face

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?

It’s called the Man-DeLorean.

Why is vodka so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe?

Because only Siths deal in Absolut.

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

*INCOMING STAR WARS JOKE* So my uncle got a job circumcising Bantha’s…

He said the pay was OK but the tips were huge.

What did Yoda say when he saw Star Wars in 4k?

>!HD … MI!<

Happy Star Wars Day/Cinco de Mayo

Chewie today, Chuy tomorrow

To celebrate Star Wars we baked some "Wookie Cookies".

They were a little on the Chewy side.

I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek.

It was a Wookie mistake.

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

Here's an old one. Who curses the most in Star Wars?

R2-D2, everything he says is bleeped out.

3 dirty Star Wars jokes

1) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?

Because it was Luke warm

2) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?

Because she felt chewy

3) Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?

No, that nig...

Cringey star wars joke

Just thought of a cringey star wars joke while being unable to sleep

Q- What was Hans Solo's response to Princess Leia when she asked where he had been all her life?

A- In Alderaan places

[Star Wars spoiler] What did Han....

Tell Leia after they separated?

-----


*May Divorce be with you.*

I dont enjoy Andor, but it has nothing to do with Star Wars...

...I'm just not a fan of conjunctions

A man walked into a Star Wars museum

...carrying an old rusted bucket by his side and demanded to know who was in charge.

"What can I help you with today, sir?" asked the confused curator.

"This here is an authentic piece of European history and once belonged to the King of England 1000 years ago."

"But," stutte...

My local KFC will be celebrating Star Wars day on May 4th with an Anakin special.

It’s an extra crispy chicken with no legs and only one wing.

I wanted to tell you all a joke about the new Star Wars

But I didn’t want to force it.

What Star Wars charactor likes orange juice the most?

Emperor Pulpatine

You know Darth Maul from Star Wars?

He's only half the man he used to be.

I saw a Star wars action figure in a Corolla today

It was a toy Yoda in a Toyota

What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?

R2 Detour.

What kind of car does a Star Wars memorabilia collector drive?

a Toy-Yoda

Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet...

But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

Chuck Norris plays a very important role in star wars

he's the force.

A Star Wars Christmas

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

What is the term for someone that gets aroused watching Star Wars?

They have a Bobba Fetish

Disney / Star Wars crossovers suck.

I just watched the most boring crossover ever.

Nothing even happens in Han Solo's "Frozen in Carbonite"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like star wars:

Its either Han Solo,

or i have to use the force.

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

I want to find a girlfriend who's into Star Wars

I've been looking for love in Alderaan places.

Why don't Star Wars characters go to church?

They're scared of the *pews*

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

Hey, did you hear about the Star Wars fanatic who's been stealing autograph books and photo albums from other fans at conventions?

They call him the fan-tome menace.

My wife loves Star Wars...

so last night we watched all the Mandalorian, back to back!

Luckily, I was the one facing the TV...

French Star Wars fans have something to look forward to every week....

Each Thursday is the Return of the Jeudi.

Did you hear about the Spanish Star Wars spin-off?

It’s about the chosen Juan.

Why do men take comfort in star wars?

Because it says that size matters not

Best explanation of Star Wars

The story of an orphaned boy who becomes radicalised after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of rebel insurgents, and carries out a terrorist attack which kills 300'000 people.

Party games are so different in the Star Wars galaxy...

For example on Earth you bob for apples, but on Tatooine you Bib Fortuna.

why aren't star wars jokes popular?

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they are usually quite *forced*

(just like this one)

1 My kid’s made up Star Wars joke: What does Darth Vader exhale?

Carbon Darkside

In Star Wars, what language is used to program droids?

JawaScript

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Star Wars fans don't smoke cigarettes after sex...

They chew 'bacca

Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?

Emperor Palpatine

If you celebrate Star Wars Day too hard tonight...

watch out for the revenge of the fifth.

My son's Star Wars joke.

What do you give to a stinky Jedi?

De-Yoda-rant

Latest results from the Star Wars Cup.

OB - 1, R2D - 2

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

My girlfriend left me because I’m a big Star Wars fan

Looks like tonight I’ll be Han Solo.

Star Wars Trailer: No one is ever really gone...

"Meesa lead tha First Order to victory now, okietay?"

Did you know Mr. T is a big Star Wars fan?

So much so that he named his kid Boba.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage

She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns.



I look at therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"



Star Wars Joke...

If Finn hooks up with Rey...

He would be the first stormtrooper to hit something

Fozzy Bear was in Star Wars

He was an Ewokka-wokka

What did the Star Wars fan with a lisp say?

May the Fourth be with you.

Star Wars and Giant Space Lasers

Still a better love Story than twilight

Jonathon Ross forgot to record the new Star Wars film...

What a wookie mistake

Why does Star Wars have a classical music score?

Because the Empire likes Bach!

The way Star Wars should've ended. SPOILER

Old Lady- "What's your name?

"Rey"

"What's your surname?"


.....Long dramatic pause......


"Binks."

Fade to Black

Star Wars X-Wing pilot

"my navigation and targeting drone keeps making bad puns about the old west.. I guess I shouldn't have gone with an RD-R2"

Please enjoy my best ever Star Wars themed joke...

Irving was proud of his daughter Faith. She was the prettiest, smartest, most charming girl in all the Empire. And when Faith was asked to attend the Winter Gala by Conan Antonio, Irving was justifiably pleased, for Conan was a well-decorated and many-times-promoted military man of great respect....

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