Why do jedi always burn their pancakes?

Because they wont turn over to the dark side.

Who was the first Jedi?

Isaac Newton, he's the one who discovered the Force.

What OS do Jedi run their computers on?

The DagobahSystem.

What do you call a nervous Jedi?

Panakin Skywalker

What do jedi younglings and jokes about youngling have in common?

They never get old.

Why don’t the Jedi have a navy?

Because sailing is a path to the dockside.

Why did the Jedi let a Korean into the order?

Because he was the Choson Wan

A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...

They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The...

How hot is the core of a Jedi lightsaber?

Lukewarm...

Why’d the Jedi get charged with police brutality shortly after joining the police academy?

He used excessive force

Why did the Jedi kill his master?

To get to the other side.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who did the dyslexic Jedi hunt down?

The Shit Lord

What do you call a Jedi ninja?

Obi-Wan Shinobi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Jedis don't have sex?

They are afraid of catching Sithilis.

Did you hear about the Jedi who was married 100 times

Divorce is strong with dis one.

Kenobi was wondering if he should become a Jedi

So Qui-Gon gave him this advice:

"Oh, be one."

Where did Luke Skywalker go shopping between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi?

Second Hand Store

Did you hear Disney is making Austin Powers into a Jedi?

It's called Obi-have

Why do Star Wars Jedi absolutely hate having to open PDF files ?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Why were luke and leia Jedi’s?

Because they were children of di vorce

How did the Jedi know what you were getting for Christmas?

He felt your presents.

ok so a stoner, a jedi, and a surgeon walk into a bar.

Blunt force trauma.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Nsfw] My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the Dark condoms so I could impress her with my "lightsaber".

The nigh...

Tatooine Air Traffic Controller: "Jedi 41, Tatooine Tower, confirm your current position you appear to be lost"

Captain Yoda: "Of course I am"

The original name for Jedis was "Force Kin".

I wonder why they rolled it back?

What did the Jedi eat after a big dinner at the Italian restaurant?

Only One Cannoli
(My 8 year old just told me this, and I laughed way too hard.)

Did you know there was a Jedi from Italy who was really strict about diets?

His name was Only One Cannoli.

What do you call an Italian Jedi?

Obi Wan Cannoli.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

Why was the Stormtrooper so sad when his Jedi friend left?

He always misses him.

Why was Luke Skywalker called the last Jedi ?

Because he was the Obi Wan left

What kind of cars do Jedi’s drive?

A Toy-Yoda

Why don’t Jedi parents let their kids use the Force at the dinner table?

Like any other parents, they believe children should not be Force-fed.

What flavor ice cream do Jedi like best?

Obi-Wan Spumoni

What do you call blood-related jedi?

Force kin.

How can you tell if you are a redneck Jedi?

You have uttered the phrase “ May the force be with ya’ll”

Why do Jedi hate alarm clocks?

Because of The Force Awakens.

What does a Jedi on a budget eat for dessert?

Only one Cannoli

I was asked to describe the feeling of cuddling with a Jedi

It was Lukewarm.

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there's a long break in the ledge they can't cross.

"Something for this, I have." Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape. He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda's hovel, t...

Why does each Jedi have a fat stomach and saggy ass?

Only a Sith deals in abs n glutes

Why can't a Redditor be a Jedi?

They tell the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise all the time.

Have you guys heard of that new anime about a jedi who grants wishes?

Kawaii Gone Djinn

What is Jedi Master Qui Gon Gin's favorite part of a movie

The credits

How many Jedi does it take to change a lightbulb?

Obi-wan

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

[StarWars] What Do You Get When You Cross a Jedi and a Mannequin?

**Manakin Skywalker**

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a...

Jedi Master finally named after being found dead from radiation poisoning in Ukraine

Obi Wan Chernobi

What do you call a dyslexic Jedi with cancer?

Leuk.

Jedis make amazing IT Professionals

They can force quit anything.

Order 66 forced many Jedi to find new jobs in hiding.

I hear one working the streets is Obi-Wan Can-blow-me

Why do the Jedi refuse to measure temperature using Kelvin?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes

Why is a Jewish Jedi Master always an only child?

Because he has no Force-kin.

Did you hear about the Jedi who gave up all his training to become a plumber?

He went over to the darkside of the faucet

What do you call a Mexican Jedi youngling?

A padajuan.

What do you call the Redditor whose Jedi mind trick tricked you into upvoting their joke to the front page?

OP Wan Kenobi

What type of toy car is a Jedi's favorite?

Toy Yoda

I didn’t like Obi-Wan’s Jedi master...

But I’ve decided to let Qui-Gons be Qui-Gons.

The Last Jedi was really good

Definitely in my top 10 Star Wars movies

A Jedi is fighting...

A Jedi is fighting some clone troopers when suddenly he drops his laser sword in the heat of battle. Luckily it comes back to him, seemingly of its own accord. After he has won, he looks down at his weapon with amazement, and says “thank you, you’re a LIGHTSABER!”

Why are Jedi so bad at rugby?

Because there is no try.

Why do they only serve Smirnoff in a Jedi bar?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

My friend and I recently watched the Star Wars films back to back in preparation for The Last Jedi...

unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the screen.

Creds: The one liner king Milton Jones

Did you hear about the Sheep who wanted to become a Jedi?

He hailed from the Dagobaaaaaaah system.

Did you hear about the Anorexic Jedi?

She had to be force fed.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

A Jedi apprentice was sitting in a local cantina as a pretty young lady came strolling in. She walks up to the bar and asks if the seat next to him was taken, to which he replied "no, it's all yours if you'd like to take a seat" they get to talking a little bit and he asks her "may i buy you a drink...

How many Jedi does it take to screw in a hallway lightbulb?

None, because once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny.

Two Star Wars super-fanboys who hated The Last Jedi die and are at the gates of heaven

St Peter is there and tells them that before entering the afterlife, they may ask God himself one single question that He will answer truthfully for them.

"All the secrets of the Universe, past present and future are all available to you. Ask, and He will answer."

They whisper with ea...

What does a Jedi use to wash their hands?

The Forcet

Concerning the jokes in Star Wars - The Last Jedi

They all seemed a bit forced.

What do Jedi Knights say to encourage the use of analogies?

Metaphors be with you

How amazing is that scene from The Last Jedi where Rey makes the boulders float..

CGI Rocks!

Luke Skywalker went to the Jedi temple

Obi-Wan Kenobi's force ghost materialized and noticed that Master Luke seemed perturbed, and so asked him what the matter was.

Luke replied "Ben, my life outside the Jedi Order is in shambles. It's mainly my marriage. It started off great, but something's changed in recent times. Drastical...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do female Jedi do when their breasts are lopsided?

Padawan.

What do you call a Jedi knight who delivers babies?

Obi-Gyn Kenobi.

What is Jedi's favourite computer language?



JabbaScript

\-Borrowed from source

Why does Yoda have the best seat on the Jedi Council?

He gets a seat next to a Windu.

Why do Jedi like Newton's 3rd law?

Because its about balancing the force.

An old Jedi master named Ben stole Luke Skywalker’s last pastry.

Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, “Hey, you Owe Me One Canoli!”

What type of boat can young jedis use

A padiwan

Many of my tumblr friends identify as otherkin. Be it wolfkin, eaglekin or yes even fantasykin. I myself identify as a jedi.

So I'm forcekin.

"Remember, Luke, a Jedi always has doubts about something. Only a Sith can be 100% sure about everything."

"Dad, are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

How do married Jedi split up?

By using Di Force

I’m currently writing a screenplay about two Jedi knights who fall in love, only to discover that their midichlorians are killing them.

I’m calling it The Fault in Our Star Wars.

What does a Jedi Rabbi say to a Christian?

May the foreskin be with you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as the end of a Jedi's penis.

I'm Forcekin

How do Jedi close programs

force quit

May the first be with you

In Jedi deaths you rebel scum!

What unit of measurement do Jedi use?

Imperial

What did the Jedi Knight say to the proctologist?

"These aren't the 'roids you're looking for."

Did you hear what the Jedi council said about Mustafar?

They called it a Sith hole.

What do you call an Indian Jedi?

Mace Hindu.

Why don't lightsabers have picatinny rails?

Jedi aren't allowed to have attachments.

Why didn’t the Jedi return his weight scale?

He wanted to keep the balance.

How does a Jedi wash their clothing?

With midi-chlorine bleach.

Why do Jedis make bad marriage counsellors?

Their only advice to males is "use the force".

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

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