Why did the astronaut kick her bf out of the capsule?

he needed some space

I get to open the time capsule I buried as a child tomorrow!

I can’t wait to see how big my puppy has gotten!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moshe was sitting at the bar staring at his drink when…

a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig and menacingly says,
“Thanks Jew Boy, whatcha going to do about it?"

Moshe burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man cryi...

Somebody threw a bottle of omega-3 capsules at me.

Luckily I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

The young salesman

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big "everything under one roof" stores looking for a job.

The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid said, "Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

The boss liked the kid so he gave him t...

North Korea discovered a capsule that stops Corona Virus

45 ACP capsule

Someone just throw a handful of Omega 3 capsules at me.

I'm OK though, they are just super fish oil injuries.

What do you call a time capsule from WWII?

A mine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is resting on a Saturday

A man is resting on a Saturday when his wife comes in, wakes him up and tells him she needs laundry detergent.
He reluctantly gets up, gets dressed and exits his apartment on the 10th floor. He presses the elevator button only to find out it’s broken, he goes down the stairs and goes to the supe...

For my graduating class' 20th reunion, we're digging up our time capsule from freshman year

I cant wait to see how big my dog Sparky got

Want to come out of the capsule and do a spacewalk with me?

No pressure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timmy meets his future self...

Little Timmy was awakened from a sound sleep to a bright flash and a strange capsule like object in his bedroom. As Timmy cowered with his sheet pulled up to his chin, a door opened and out stepped a man who was the adult version of Timmy. In a soothing voice he told Timmy that he was his future s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This guy walks into a Mercedes agency and asks for the top executive model.

Money is not an issue, but the car has to have everything installed. And he means EVERYTHING he is not joking. The company goes and install usb sockets for each passenger, a blue tooth operated coffee machine (with proper grinder, not that bullshit with capsules), a GPS tracking got each wheel and t...

Isolation can be a serious problem for astronauts, I'm sure modern medicine has an effective treatment for these problems.

Just give the astronauts a capsule.

A man is cutting sides of

A man is cutting sides of a capsule before taking it.

His neighbour saw this and asked him,

” why are you cutting the sides of the capsule?

He replied ” To avoid the side effects” :P :D lolx hahhahahah

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man buys a drink at a bar...

and places it down next to him deep in thought.

Suddenly a biker enters the bar and sits down next to the man, takes his drink and downs it one gulp.

"watcha gonna do?" the biker sneers.

The man breaks down into tears.

"Shit man, I didn't think you were going to cry, man ...

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