UPJOKE
fragranceasthmaaerosolpurifierconditionerhumidifieraroma compoundwindexfreshencandlethingodorspiezoelectricitypreservativesolvent

Freshener Jokes

I've just invented a telepathically controlled air freshener

Makes scents when you think about it.

Tesla released a car air freshener last week...

They call it Elon's Musk.

At first I didn’t understand how to use my mind-controlled air freshener

But after thinking about it for a while, it finally made scents.

Did you all hear about the mind controlled air-freshener that Febreze is developing?

It's a bit crazy, but it makes scents when you think about it.

What does an air freshener vending machine, say on the screen when it's empty?

"Out of odor"

Politicians are like air freshener

They don’t solve problems. They cover them up.

I had a dream about a breath freshener left on my pillow.

I ate it and it tasted like a fig. Then I woke up. Guess it was just a fig mint of my imagination.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just sprayed some orange scented air freshener in the bathroom.

Now it smells like shitrus.

Need help. My Glade air freshener stopped working. I can't find anything wrong with it.

It just doesn't make any scents.

There was this engineer who died and went to Hell.

He disliked Hell, so pretty soon he went to work improving it. He installed air conditioning, elevators, bathroom air fresheners, escalators, and all sorts of gadgetry. One day God calls Satan:

"So, how are things down there?" asks God.

"Great!" Satan replies, "we now have air conditio...

The Divorce Settlement

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come to collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background musi...

What kind of breath freshener does George Clinton use?

Parlia-mints

I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house for the first time.

"Excuse me, I just need the toilet," I said, excusing myself from the table.

"Don't forget to spray the air freshener!" replied the dad.

I said, "No need. Cocaine doesn't smell."

How do you know if air fresheners have gotten too smart?

If they have become scent-ient.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife and husband are doing 69 when the husband realizes he's late for the dentist.

He doesn't want his mouth the smell like pussy so he quickly brushes his teeth, rinses out his mouth, and heads out the door as soon as he can. When he pulls up to the dentist he sprays his mouth with breathe freshener and heads inside.
Once he's seated in the chair he's sure his mouth doesn't s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveling salesman finds himself in an elevator

While he's all alone, he rips a huge stinking fart. He quickly opens his briefcase and takes out a can of air-freshener and give it a few squirts.

A few moments later another man enters the elevator, visibly disturbed by the strong smell.

"Smells nice doesn't it? It's a special blend o...

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.

Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine!" the blond...

A new product idea

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Have you decided what you want for Christmas?" the bartender asks. "Yeah, I think I really would like one of those mind-controlled air fresheners," the guy replies. "It just makes sense when you think about it."

You know you're drunk when you've got to swerve to avoid a pine tree in the middle of the road...

...only to realize it was the air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror.

I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house for the first time.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I asked.

"Sure, but could you use the can of air freshener?" said her mother jokingly.

Really strange, but I managed to fit all the poo into the bottle.

A blonde is pulled over for erratic driving...

When the officer gets to her door, she says, “Oh, Officer, thank God you’re here! I was driving down the road when this tree popped up in the lane in front of me. So, I swerved to miss it and then another popped up in front of me! And then another, and then another, and then you arrived! Please f...

What do you call the smell of leftover Mexican food in your car?

A Texas air freshener.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Murphy is leaving the pub for the night.

He gets in the car, pulls out of the car park, and begins driving home on the highway. All of a sudden there's a tree right in the middle of the road, so he swerves out of the way.


"what in the fuck was that?" he says.


A minute later another tree pops up right in front of his f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told my girlfriend to watch out! It might smell in the bathroom…

She asked if I had used the air freshener.

"yeah, I did"

"Oh so it smells like shitrus."

man she's funny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fart in the elevator

A Stanley Products saleslady gets in an elevator. She’s the only one on the elevator and has to fart. She lets loose and pulls her sample can of pine air freshener out of her kit and sprays it. Next stop a man gets on. He sniffs and looks around. Figuring she might make a sale she asks, “So, do you...

A Cop is driving down the highway; all of a sudden, the car further ahead SWERVES wildy left.

He watches in awe as the car corrects its direction, then swerves right across every lane.

The officer immediately hits his lights, and approaches the vehicle closer. After several more wild moves, the car pulls into the ditch.

The Cop sprints to the car, banging on the window until ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't press # 3

On an airplane there is a mens and womens bathroom. The guys bathroom was broken so the men had to use the womans bathroom. Well, this man has to go to the bathroom so he stands up and walks to the back of the plane. Before he goes in, the attendant tells him not to press #3. The man takes a dump an...

An elderly lady would always bring flowers she picked from her garden to a local hospital to cheer up the pediatric patients.

One day a worker was installing a new sign in the lobby when a metal bar from his scaffolding fell. He was harnessed in to the part that didn't fall, but the bar hit the elderly lady with the flowers, killing her instantly.

Two years later the maintenance guy was walking down a corridor after...

One day a man brought home a custom fan [Long]

One day a man bought a custom electric fan in the colors of his favorite sports team. It had a remote control and an ion freshener and all the bells and whistles. It even announced when the next game would be! It was expensive, but the man loved his team and well, summer is hot. His wife, none too h...

Timmy Got a Job!

Timmy boy, a young hobo who left home in search for wealth, got his 14th job in the 3 months he has been traveling. His first shift at Bob’s Animal Candies Inc. started at 9 am, Tuesday. After working for hours at the breath fresheners’ line, he began to get bored, so Timmy decided to take a break t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.