UPJOKE
situationstatestigmatismpreconditionimmunitystipulatestipulationstatusqualifyhealthprovisoinnocencepuritypurenessreinstatement

Conditioning Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Strippers don’t have air conditioning in their homes.

............Onlyfans

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer — you're assigned to hell."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of accommodations and starts designing and building improvements.

After a wh...

Why do hospitals have air conditioning?

To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Tom Brady asked me if I could help him after his house’s air conditioning system broke.

I declined because I’m not a big fan.

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way.

So I turned on the air conditioning.

So apparently my neighbor doesn’t believe in air conditioning

He’s an ACeist

My dad thought OnlyFans was a webstore that just sold air conditioning units.

I suppose you can still find something on there to spin around and blow you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An engineer goes to hell

A professional engineer dies and because of some misfiled paperwork, ends up in hell. Trudging through the sweltering heat, eventually he comes across Satan and says, "You know, with a little work, we can probably cool this place off..." At first, Satan is enraged and prepares to unleash fury on thi...

What do you get when you put air conditioning in Washington D.C

A.C.D.C

An engineer dies and goes up to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, St Peter says to the engineer "Sorry pal, you're not on the list. You can't get into heaven." The engineer says "Wait a minute, I always donated to charity, my wife and I raised two orphans we adopted, I attended church regularly, what do you mean I'm not on the list to get into...

I had to scold my employee for leaving the air conditioning on for the night

We had a very heated argument.

My air conditioning system is very simple to operate

It's a breeze.

My landlord called and said he wanted to come talk to me about the high air conditioning bill.

I said sure, my door is always open.

If the air conditioning in your car dies, all you need is some WD-40.

Windows Down - 40mph

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning

That wasn't cool

[Dad Joke] I don't trust our air conditioning system.

It seems forced.

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

My uncle in Washington started an Air Conditioning business.

it's called ac/dc

A football player was late to conditioning practice

His coach asked "Why are you late?"

The player replies "I was shampooing. I always shampoo before conditioning."

Why did Pavlov have extra soft hair?

Classical conditioning

A reporter is doing a story on prenatal conditioning.

A reporter is doing a story on prenatal conditioning. He gets contact from a group of brothers who vouch for the phenomenon as having had an effect on them.

"I'm a jazz saxophonist." The first brother says. "My mother played Charlie Parker for me while I was in the womb, and she could feel me...

Scientists use both positive and negative conditioning to teach cats to speak.

In a group of cats, a tutor would reward an individual cat who said "me" with the best food at feeding time. In another experiment, a researcher would apply mild electric shocks to the subject cat until it said "ow".

The lead scientist said they've had some success, however they weren't sure...

The funeral for the inventor of air conditioning was held today.

Thousands of fans attended.

The Engineer in Hell

An engineer dies and goes to Hell.

He’s talking with Satan and says, “What a terrible place! It’s very hot, dark, smoky and extremely bad!”

Satan said, “Well, what did you expect? After all, this IS Hell!”

The engineer said, “Do you have a compressor, some tubing, and wire?
<...

So, a mate of mine has come back from a air conditioning course

He now has 'A license to chill'.....

An engineer dies and goes to heaven.

When he arrives St. Peter looks at the book and scratches his head. He says 'You were involved in some great civil engineering projects so I ought to let you into heaven but you were also involved in weapons programs that resulted in great loss of life' 'I am sorry but you will have to go to hell'. ...

I told my girlfriend last week to get her air conditioning fixed and to stop walking around the house naked for all the neighbors to see. I came over today and nothing has changed

Except now she’s got only fans

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.