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Fears Jokes

This time next year you guys will be laughing about all the Coronavirus fears of today...

Not every one of you, of course.

A young blonde fears that her boyfriend is seeing another girl...

One day, the girl is visiting her boyfriend's apartment for lunch and stumbles across another woman's discarded garments on his bedroom floor. After sitting coolly through the meal, avoiding eye contact, she quietly excuses herself without explanation. She is incredibly hurt, and on her way home fin...

Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage?

They say he fears the wurst

What are the two biggest fears of Russian military?

That the Chinese learn how to fight like the Finns, or that the Finns learn how to breed like the Chinese.

My psychiatrist asked me if I have any irrational fears…

I was afraid that she’d ask that

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair

so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up ....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Steve dates a girl for the first time

Unfortunately, he doesn't know anything about sex, so he fears that it could get serious

Desperate he asks his friend Tom, a real Casanova, for some tips

Tom thinks for a little bit and says:
"Alright, if you want to please a girl, its all about movement. Let's do an exercise!"
<...

The only thing a flat earther fears?

A sphere itself...

After a night of heavy drinking, when I woke up naked in my sister’s bed on New Year’s day, I feared the worst.

When my brother-in-law kissed me on the cheek, those fears were realized.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Edward Penis-hand fears the most?

An itching butt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Overcoming your fears.. as told by tom hanks ..

Three men found that they could no longer sleep because of their deep-seeded fears. Their lives were in the state of stasis because of their constant worries. So they set out on a pilgrimage to find a wise man who lived high in the mountains, so high up above the tree line, that no vegetation grew, ...

A lingerie model needs to have her appendix removed, but she fears that the scar from the operation will end her career.

Her physician however tells her about a surgeon who is a master at making very clean cuts with basically no traces left afterwards, so she agrees to do the procedure. She is put under anesthesia and when she wakes up she asks whether everything went well. She is reassured that it went splendidly. ...

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I've got problems.

"Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year" said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to ...

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