Once there was a priest who loved golf as much as preaching ...
One fine Sunday morning he woke up to find the most perfect golfing weather. He was really torn between his two true loves. Finally he gave in and asked another priest to do the sermon. He quietly packed up his golf bag and slipped out the back of the church.
At the links he was having the m...
A mushroom walks into a bar...
He walks up to the barman and says
"Can I have a beer?"
The barman peers down at the little mushroom and says
"I can't serve you - your a mushroom!"
The mushroom with consternation replies
"Oh come on! I'm a fun guy!" (Fungi)
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The airplane is already full, passengers seated, but the cockpit is empty
Suddenly the rear door of the plane opens, and the two pilots make their way in - one is using a blind man cane, the other a guide dog. Slowly they make their way forward through the aisle in the general laughter of the passengers.
But the laughter dies down as the pilots enter the cockpit an...
A young couple dies in a car wreck on the way to their wedding.
They arrive in heaven where they are welcomed by Saint Peter. Before they are admitted to heaven they ask if they can get married in heaven.
Peter scratches his chin. “Hmm, I’m not sure. Let me find out.” He goes into heaven to find someone who might know.
Well he’s gone for a very lon...
Judy came home from shopping and met her 19 year old granddaughter Tae walking out of the shared apartment.
Tae was wearing a sleek black top through which her nipples were easily seen against the threads. In shock, Judy said "Granddaughter! I cannot allow you to go out of this house in such apparel! Your goods are showing way too much!"
To which Tae replied, "Loosen up, Grams. This isn't the 70s, ...
An old joke from about 100 years ago that's actually somewhat amusing
A Milwaukee man and his wife recently received a call from an old friend whom they had not seen for years. Just before the three sat down to a little supper in the German style, the wife, seizing a favorable opportunity, whispered to her husband:
"We have only three bottles of beer in the hou...