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What is it called when an airplane crashes in a Nazi concentration camp?

Nein Eleven

What do you call an Italian concentration camp?

A spaghetto.

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These immigrant internment centers are worse than Nazi concentration camps

The concentration camps at least had working showers.

Walking into a concentration camp be like

Auschwitz here we go again

What's a group of people with ADHD?

a Non-Concentration camp

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With the news of the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings, I remember my Grandfather who died at a concentration camp in Nazi Germany...

He fell out of the guard tower and broke his neck

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Two Jewish boys were in a concentration camp together...

During their time there they became like brothers and when the war ended, they decided that they should live together as such. Many years go by until one of them wins the lottery.

"I can't believe you won the lottery! What are you going to do with all that money?"

"First, I'll buy us a...

Rant: Please stop posting holocaust jokes. My great grandfather died in a concentration camp and it's very painful.

He fell off the guard tower.

Which city has the highest concentration of superheros?

Capetown.

What's the difference between a rehab center and a concentration camp?

One takes addicts out of people, the other takes people out of attics.

(Works best when said out loud)

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It was Christmas time in the concentration camp..

And the Nazis figured that they would have a bit of fun with the “inmates”.

So they roasted up a huge duck, filled with veggies, plums, sauce and glazed with butter.


They walk in to the yard and place the duck, as the Jews gathered around to see what was going on.

They tol...

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One day, Hitler decided to visit one of his concentration camps.

He spoke to the on-site general, and told him to line up all of the prisoners in a row.

When all of them were lined up, Hitler went up to the first person and asked him, "How high do you jump?"

The general looked at Hitler, confused, then looked at the prisoner. The prisoner looked bac...

My grandpa let 200 people go from a concentration camp in the holocaust

He was the worst security guard ever

A friend asked me why some people don't like juice. I tell him it's probably because they're thinking of that cheap, acidic variety that's been destroyed by the concentration process

Apparently this opinion can get you banned from the local kosher supermarket

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In 1944 during a prisoner revolt at the Nazi's most infamous concentration camp, an SS guard was burned alive by prisoners in a crematorium oven.

That is what I call the Auschwitzaroo.

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An old Jewish man is on his deathbed and he calls his wife over to him. "Esther, when we were childhood sweethearts during the war and were captured by the Nazis and put in the concentration camp, you were by my side."

"After the war, when we moved to England, got married and had to work 12 hours a day to pay for a single room, you were by my side."

"Later when my business collapsed and we were again left penniless, you were by my side."

"And now finally, as I prepare to die, you are again by my sid...

"I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears. "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'.

I think she's seeking attention.

[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is

"I'll be 6 soon!"

"Nope"

Girl, is your H+ concentration 1x10^14?

Because you're basic asf.

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I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.

Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...

I had ADD as a kid

So my parents enrolled me in a concentration camp

What do you call a cheap hooker at a concentration camp?

A Hoe Low Cost

When is it okay to send a disabled person to a concentration camp?

When their disability is attention deficit disorder.

What do you get when you cross an orchard with a concentration camp?

apple juice

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Dear Lord

Dear good Lord, please make me dumb,
that I don't go to a concentration camp.
Dear good Lord please make me deaf,
that I don't tamper with the radio.
Dear good Lord please make me blind,
that I think everything is fine:
If I'm deaf and dumb and blind,
I am Adolf’s ...

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During WWII, An Old Man Worked At a Concentration Camp in Poland...

Due to the Nazi's bombing the factory he used to work in. His job was to move straw back and forth, he would take new straw bales shipped in every morning, put the hay in wheelbarrows where prisoners would then bring the wheelbarrows to where it was needed.

Every night, he had to bring the o...

Holocaust jokes aren't as funny when you have a relative that died in a concentration camp.

To be fair though, if the fall from the gun tower hadn't killed Opa, the alcohol would have.

Why do Germans have such great focus?

I think it's because they used to have concentration camps.

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A LONG ONE( but worth it): One wet, cold morning...

A bus driver was just starting along his route. It was still dark and raining and the temperature hovered just above freezing.

As he approached the first stop on his route he could see some poor soul laying on the bench. He stopped the bus, opened the doors and called out to the soaking wet p...

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Hitler was walking through a concentration camp

And he came upon a little girl laying on the ground. He asks how old she is, to which she replies "I turn 8 tomorrow ". Hitler chuckles a little and says "no you don't"

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There are multiple prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp

The commandant walks through the line of prisoners and instructs each one to act like a clock. The first prisoner says "tick", the second says "tock", and so on and so forth. However, the last prisoner refuses to make a "tock" sound. The commandant walks up to the prisoner and tells him, (German acc...

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What did the jew say when he reached the concentration camp?

AU SHWITZ

What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust?

Ju-Haul

Where do kids with ADHD get sent for summer break?

Concentration camp

Make up your minds

People complain that kids these days don’t have any attention span, yet they get upset when you send kids to concentration camps. Damn Liberals. Make up your damn minds.

A German, a Frenchman and an Englishman go fishing...

They fish quite happily for a while until the German catches a huge golden fish, but as he pulls it off the hook it says "Please don't kill me! Spare my life and I'll grant you all a wish!"

The German throws the fish back and says "I wish for a mug of beer that will never empty", and immediat...

I'm very appalled by holocaust jokes.

They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.

The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.

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A man signs up to be a special effects supervisor in a studio.

A man, Dave, signs up to be a special fx supervisor in a film making studio. His job was to study different “boards” each containing different sound effects, and he was to pick out the most pleasing and configure them to his preferences.

The first day, Dave went to work and he was directed to...

An elderly woman wins the lottery

Edith, 95 years old, a holocaust servivor, one day scoops big on a $250m jackpot.
She is asked on to her local radio station for an interview. She brings along her best friend Betty who was with her in a concentration camp.

When asked by the host what she is going to do with her winnings. ...

Why Anne Frank didn't finish her diary

**Concentration problems**

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The die is cast

Hitler took a stroll in one of the concentration camps and he saw some Jews playing around with dice.
He came up to them saying : "if you roll a number from 1 to 5 you will die!
Jews : "And what if we roll a 6?"
Hitler smiled : "You get to roll the die again"

Scientists identified intelligent DNA in a blonde.

The highest concentration was found in the stomach.

I stopped drinking water while studying chemistry

My notes say adding water decreases concentration

An arrogant professor boards a plane and gets a seat besides an old man.

Mid-flight, the professor decides to humiliate the old man and prove he’s intellectually superior, so he turns to him and says: “Hey, do you want to play a little game with me?” The old man looks at him and says: “Depends. What type of game?”

The professor goes on to explain the game: “Taking...

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A girl walks into a tattoo parlor and explains that she's always wanted a tattoo of her favorite country music star on the inside of her thigh...

She's really conflicted though, because she can't decide between her two favorites, Conway Twitty or George Jones.

The tattoo artist offers a solution: he would do both Conway Twitty AND George Jones, one on each thigh, for only $200 with a free money-back guarantee...if she doesn't like his...

We'll call it "The cognitive and behavioral fun time vacation for people with ADHD"

'Cause apparently "concentration camp" isn't politically correct

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My dad just told me his favourite WWII joke and told him I'd share it

During the war in a concentration camp the POWs were made to line up. The first person would say; "Tik" then the person behind him would need to respond with; "Tok" So they did.

It went
"Tik, Tok, tik, Tok, Tik" until the man behind him also said "tik", this made the German officer mad w...

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One day, a Mother Superior was attending to some matters just outside the main doors of her convent. She noticed that the Seven Dwarves had huddled some distance from her...

... and, as they argued amongst themselves, they kept throwing looks her way. After some time, one of them separated from the group to approach her. It was Doc.

“Good morning, Mother Sister. I mean Mother Superior. Really sorry to bother you, but could you help us settle an argument?”

...

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Bless me father for I have sinned

A man walks into a confession booth.

He says, "Bless me father, for I have sinned."

The priest there says to him, "Speak my child."

The man says, "Well father I lived in Hamburg during the Second World War. The Gestapo was searching for Jews to send to concentration camps, an...

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During the Second World War ...

During the Second World War ...


In an attempt to show that the Nazis were not so bad, the German generals who took over the concentration camps decided to create a position where one of the Jewish prisoners would be named spokesman of all the prisoners and once a month would have oppor...

A Mother superior and two novices were killed in a bus crash.

They soon found themselves at the pearly gates. St. Peter greeted all three.

"Welcome sisters, Mother superior. What a great honor to have you here." he said. Then a little more softly, he said.

"Unfortunately, we've had a few people slipping into heaven disguised as nuns. I'm afraid ...

My son has ADHD and cannot concentrate on anything for more than a couple of seconds.

I'm thinking of sending him to a concentration camp.

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Holocaust Jokes Collection

Why did Hitler kill himself?

\- He got the gas bill

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Where was the highest concentration of Jews after world war 2?

\- The atmosphere

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<...

Why don't Jewish girls study on their period?

Concentration Cramps

Growing up I had ADHD. Terrible grades. Couldn’t focus.

Finally, my mom and dad sent me to a concentration camp.

My summer camp, which was all about focus and blocking out distractions, did really poorly this year

Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp

An old man was out fishing one day...

... and was doing quite well for himself. He’d been keeping all of his catch in a 5 gallon bucket at the edge of the water, by his feet. A young state game warden, fresh out of the academy, walked up and asked to see the old man’s fishing license and inspect his fish. The young warden knew he’d hit ...

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A magic frog is hopping through a forest.

The forest is so big, he's not seen a single animal since he left his birthing puddle. One day he sees a bear chasing a rabbit and he stops them. "As you are the first living things I've seen in a long time, I will grant you each 3 wishes."

The rabbit takes a moment to think, but the bear blu...

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