What language was used to program Marvin the Paranoid Android (from Hitchhiker's Guide...)?

Morose Code.

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed.

The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But bef...

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A gas station owner was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Every Fill-Up.”

Rob pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and said that if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Rob said "today is my birthday, i'm feeling LUCKY and I guess 8".

The owner said, “You were very close, the lucky numb...

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Was Cilla black? Was Barry white? Was Marvin gay?

It doesn't really matter - it's just that Stevie wonders.

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I'm gonna ask Marvin Gaye to come make my sofa feel better

I need some sectional healing

Tony Dungy visits Bill Belicheck to try and learn the Patriots secrets.

He asks Bill about how he always wins no mater what is going on.

Bill calls Tom Brady into his office and asks him "who is you father's brother's nephew?"

Brady responds "Me"

Bill turns to Tony and says "see you, need smart players"

The next day at practice Tony calls ove...

What does Marvin the Martian put on his toast?

Space Jam

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Seventy-five-year-old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Valentine's Day.

Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young.

Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has. M...

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Every day after dessert, Marvin and Ethel meet in their spot at the back of the nursing home and they start to kiss.

Progressively, their kissing gets more and more intense. And since Marvin is a very desirable man among the other elderly ladies, Ethel has to make their sessions interesting so he doesn’t leave her. So, every day Ethel will slide her hand down Marvin’s torso and grab his penis and she will leave he...

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I’ve been thinking recently if the bands Toto, Tommy lee and Marvin Gaye firmed a band it would be

Toto lee Gaye

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Years later, they get back together to discuss the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother for her 90th Birthday.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said," I sent her a Mercedes with a dr...

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A Husband Whispers in his Wife's Ear at the Bar

"Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the bar where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it oh so well!"

OK, he says, "Let's go there again, and we can do it for old time's sake?"
...

An elderly man hears a knock at the door and goes to answer.

When he opens the door he sees that it is the local sheriff and says "How may I help you?" The sheriff asks if he is Marvin Johnson married to Louise Johnson. He says that he is and the sheriff says to him "Well I've got some bad news, some good news and some really good news. Which would you lik...

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A zoo bought a female gorilla a while back

A zoo bought a female gorilla a while back. Recently, she went into heat, so the zookeeper called all his friends at different zoos to find a male gorilla to deal with the issue.
He called and called, but the budget his board had given him was only $10,000, and nobody could afford to ship their g...

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IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

Is George Straight?
Is Marvin Gay?
Is Rebecca Black?
Is Barry White?

Sure makes Stevie Wonder!

My dying laptop's last wishes

(Coughing) Marvin im dying and before I die (cough intensifies)
I want you to promise me something...you'll take my hard disk and put it in your next computer
I want my memory to live on

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Heaven is a big place

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates together having all perished in different circumstances. Seeing the lineup they all wonder what separates them from access into the gates of heaven. As time goes by the line disappears and the three men find themselves next up. Peter is standing with a hand on t...

A Jewish joke my Jewish grandfather sent me.

One day at kindergarten the teacher said she would give anyone 10 dollars if they could tell her who the most famous man who ever lived.

A little Irish boy said, "It was St. Patrick!"
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry Sean, but no."

A young Scottish boy said, "It was St. Andrew!"
...

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A blind kid named Stevie just changed schools...

And he was thinking about his old friends. Since he was blind, he never got to look at his friend, James, and he randomly thought, "Was James brown?"

After a little while, he realised he left before his friend, Marvin, came out and so he thought "Was Marvin gay?"

Needles to say, these ...

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Opporknockity, and a short collection of other terrible music jokes

Mr. Opporknockity is a superb piano tuner. He has spent more than 30 years honing his craft and has made quite a reputation for himself.

He got a call from a guy who had just bought a new grand piano and requested Mr. Opporknockity to come and tune it. Mr. Opporknockity spent more than 3 hour...

Two older businessmen bump into each other in Florida

Two older businessmen bump into each other in florida. "Marvin what are you doing here? I thought you were running that clothing store in queens." One says to the other. "Well, I did have that store for almost 25 years, but then one day a fire burnt the store completely. I thought to myself: do I re...

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