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Susie Jokes

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Susie is a prostitute...

... who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past & sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised & ask her 'How, do u ...

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“Susie asks, “Mommy, why do you always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?”

“Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Granny”, asks Susie the next time her grandmother visits. “Why do you and mommy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?” “Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. “You’ll have to...

Susie Lee Done Fell In Love

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy ’bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, “Susie gal,
You’ll have to find another.
I’d just as soon yo’ Ma don’t know,
But Joe is yo’ half brother.”

So Su...

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A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors: Jim, Tom, and Susie.

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt that having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral...

Little Jonny and Little Susie are classmates.

Walking home from school, Jonny passed by Cindy's house. Cindy was playing in her yard with her dolls, and like any 10 year old boy, he wanted to tease Cindy. So he walked by and said Cindy, see this ball, this is a boys football you can't have it. With that Cindy went into crying to her mother. Her...

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A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name the origin of a famous quote.

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"





Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."





Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."





Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"





Aga...

The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Wisconsin. A few days after the election, the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her father and says, “So, dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”

“I don't think so, Susie. It's an 18-hour drive.”

“Don't worry about it, dad! I will send Air Force One, and a limousine to pick you up at your door.”

“I don't know, Susie. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”

“Oh, dad,” replies Susan, “I'll make sure she ha...

Where did Susie go when the bombs dropped?

She went everywhere

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A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". T...

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Oh Susie.

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Suzie stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciatin...

Susie was a chemist,

Susie is no more.
For what she though was H2O,
Was H2SO4.

Little Johnny and little Susie were in Sunday school.

Johnny, thinking he was being funny, kept poking Susie in the back with a pencil.

Up front, the teacher was asking some questions, "What did lucifer say after falling from heaven?" She asked. Just then Johnny jabbed Susie with the pencil.

"Cut it out." She hissed over her shoulder....

Johnny and Susie were playing naked, wondering why they have different “parts”

When Johnny got home he asked his mother why he had a stick and Susie had a hole. Johnny’s mother said “oh son, you have a Ferrari, and Susie has a garage; the time will come and you’ll park your Ferrari in her garage”

When Susie got home she asked her father why she had a hole and Johnny had...

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Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole..

..Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says *"Gee Susie, what's going on?"*


Susie says, *"I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious"*


Mr. Johnson asks, *"Why are you digging a hole?"*


Susie replies, *"I'm burying my gold fish"*


Mr. Johnson laugh...

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little johnny and little susie are working together In a factory

little susie says "you know it's a beautiful day and I don't want to work anymore, I bet you that I can get the boss to give me the day off"
Little johnny says "oh yeah how you going to do that ?"
She says watch this the boss is coming.
she gets up and hangs herself upside down from the r...

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On Friday, an elementary school teacher poses her students a challenge...

"If you can tell me who said the following quote, they don't have to come to school on Monday: 'We have nothing to fear, but fear itself'"
A hand shoots up and little Billy Tran says "Franklin Delano Roosevelt".
"Correct, Billy. You can have next Monday off" the teacher replies.
"I'm ...

A Science Teacher stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." ...

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A little girl named Susie....

...was playing outside in the backyard and saw a butterfly flying about. She was entertained by this butterfly, but has an innate sense to destroy and proceeded to smush that poor poor butterfly. Her dad saw this and exclaimed, “SUSIE!!! Why did you kill that butterfly!? No butter for a month!”
<...

Susie from the bar

I met a girl at the bar called Susie.

We went back to hers and things started heating up, she took of her clothes and asked me to put a finger inside.

I did, then she said put in another.
I did, then she said put in two more..
I did, then she says slide in your hand...
I did,...

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A nun at a Catholic School was asking her 10 year old students what they wanted to be when they grew up.

"Susie, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Susie said "I want to be a doctor."

"Very nice," the nun said. "Jenny what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Jenny said "I want to be a teacher."

"Excellent answer," the nun replied. "Martha what are you going to be wh...

Susie went to the church wearing a see-through top leaving almost nothing to imagination..

After the congregation,the priest called her aside and said " I don't want you to come to church wearing such a dress"

Susie cried " but I have a divine right"

Priest " you have a divine left too " looking at her dress " but still you can't come dressed like that " .

Little Susie came home from school and told her mum the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels

"you should tell them No, they only want to see your knickers" said her mum

"I know that, that's why I hide them in my bag"

John and Susie just got married.

John and Susie just got married and are spending their honeymoon at a beautiful resort on a fishing lake. For the first 3 days of their getaway, John is spotted by the groundskeeper, fishing all day long. Finally, the groundskeeper decides to approach him.




"Hey there son, I recko...

Susie has no arms

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Not Susie

Little Susie comes home crying to her mom....

Mom: what happened ?

Susie : today I had an argument with little Johny and he pulled down his pants and pointed at his wee wee and said ' I'm a boy so I have this , you are a girl ,so you don't have this '

Mom : don't worry darling , when you grow up , if you are a good girl , you can...

Little Susie gets back home from playing outside.

She runs in and says, "Dad, dad! A man at the playground asked me to touch his ding dong!"

"Oh my god, Susie! Are you ok?! What happened!" He frantically asks.

Susie says, "nothing else; he said that if I did, he would give me this watch."

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****NSFW****Little Johnny and Little Susie

One day on the playground little Johnny and little Susie were playing. Little Johnny stopped and said.

"I got something awesome wanna see?"

Little Susie said yes.

So little Johnny pulls down his pants an underwear and shows her his penis.

"My daddy says this is my peni...

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Little Susie came home from school one day.

Her mom asks "How was school today sweetie?"

"GOOD! Johnny showed me his penis on the playground!"

"What!" Said her mom, "Well what did you think about it?

"It reminded me of a peanut."

"HAHA, Because it was so small?" Joked her mom.

"NO! Because it tasted salty!"

Why did Susie drop her ice cream?

Because she was hit by a bus.

A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door...

A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or your mum home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town".
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with mum and dad".
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himse...

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Boys have a thing and girls don't. Pt 2

*Hijacking the title from the front page*

Little Tommy was coming home from school after any regular Monday of 3th grade. As he passed his classmate Susie’s house, he saw her playing with her dolls in the yard. Being a miserable 9 year old he yelled over to Susie. “Hey Susie, you see this bik...

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A teacher asks if anyone in the class can use the word "contagious" in a sentence.

Jenny puts her hand up and says "My mum says we should stay home when we're sick incase we're contagious."

"That's right" the teacher says, "Anyone else?"

Susie says "My grandma says a smile can be contagious."

"Very good" says the teacher, "Anyone else?"

Little Johnny pu...

Little Susie goes to the doctor...

Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, "Ok now, big breathes."
Susie says, "I know! And I'm only 12!"

Little Susie spent the summer holidays on a pony farm in the Cotswolds

Back home, she asked,

"We all live together just like the animals, don't we, Mummy?"

"Yes, dear. You could put it like that."

"So I'm just like a little foal?"

"Yes, dear. You could put it like that."

"And you, Mummy, you're practically the beautiful mare?"

...

Helpful Daughter

Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."


That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.

Susie ...

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Little Johnny has the foulest mouth in his first grade class

All the teachers at the school know this. One day, a teacher starts teaching her class the alphabet.

She says, "Class, who can give me a word that starts with the letter A?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, but the teacher knows Johnny is going to use a swear word, so she picks someone e...

Little Susie

Little Susie came home from school one day and shouted "Mom! Mom! I made $5 today!" Her mother asked "How did you do that, Little Susie?" Little Susie said "I was walking home from school when a man offered me $5 to climb a pole!" Her mother was appalled and said "Little Susie, don't do that! That m...

"I caught your Johny playing doctor with my Susie" shouted little Susie's mom

Little johny's mom :" you know kids, they are a bit inquisitive at times."

Little Susie's mom: "inquisitive?? He would have operated her tonsils out had I not caught them on time".

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One day, little Susie was sitting in Sunday School

Susie was a good kid who liked to pay attention in here sunday school bible classes. The only problem was the she sat in front of the class delinquent, Joe. While the teacher was teaching, she decided to ask the class a question to make sure all the kids were paying attention.


"So class, ...

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat." "What does that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

The little girl went to the garage and asked "Dad, may I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Susie was in heat, and to come talk to you."
Dad said, " Bring Susie over here" He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear-end with it and said,...

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Susie and Johnny work the typical nine to five, one day Susie turns to johnny and says, "you know what its a nice day I bet you I can get the boss to give me the day off....

To johnnies surprise he asks her how shes going to do that, she says watch me. So the boss walks in for his usual team check up and Susie is hanging upside down from the rafters. Furios but concerned the boss asks her what shes doing, to which Susie replies, Im a light bulb look at me, so the boss s...

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Little Johnny is falling asleep in class and little Susie is sitting behind him

The teacher noticed Johnny’s head down so she called on him to answer: “Johnny, who is our lord and savior?” Susie pokes him in the back with a pencil, making him jerk awake and scream “JESUS CHRIST!” The teacher was shocked but just said “very good Johnny” and he fell back asleep. Teacher notices t...

Everyone was seated around the table when dinner was served. When little Susie received her plate, she started eating right away.

“Susie, wait until we’ve said our prayer,” her mother reminded her.

“I don’t have to.” - The little girl replied.

“Of course you do.” - Her mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eating at our house.”

“That’s at our house,” Susie explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she...

Legs up in the Air

One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier."

The next day when Susie...

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Since we're doing little Johnny jokes....

Little Johnny's teacher sends the kids home with an assignment to find a story with a moral to it. The next day, the teacher asks, "Who would like to share their story?"

Little Johnny's hand shoots straight up, and the teacher wisely ignores him. "Susie, why don't you go first?"

Susie ...

I heard this a while ago

Susie and Timmy are walking to school together when they pass by a tree.

Timmy says "Susie if you climb that tree I will give you $100."
So Susie climbs the tree and gets $100.

When Susie comes home from school she asks her mother why Timmy gave her money. Her mother says "Because T...

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Teacher telling the first grade class that man is the only animal that stutters...

Little Susie raises her hand and says, "oh no, Ms . Smith. I heard my kitty cat stutter once."

Ms. Smith says, "no Susie, somethings not right. Kitty cats don't stutter . So lets hear your story."
"Well, I took my kitty out in the backyard one day, and theres two Rottweilers living next...

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A teacher is teaching a 5th grade class on Zoom.

The teacher says to Susie, "Tell the class why you want to be a teacher."

Susie says, "Actually, I want to be a stripper."

The teacher asks, "A stripper? I thought you wanted to do my noble profession."

Susie says, "That was before I saw your tiny apartment."


(Origina...

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I’ve been dating twins.

It’s hard to tell them apart sometimes. Susie has blonde hair, while Mike has a dick.

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Little Johnny's teacher held a contest one Friday in school.

"Class, I'm going to give you a famous quotation, and if you can tell me who said it, I'll give you the day off on Monday.

"The first one is, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.' Who said that one?"

Little Johnny's hand shoots up immediately...

Daddy's Factory

Little Susie was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared, "A baby brother." "Sweetheart, Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "But there just isn't time before your birthday."

Susie thought for a moment and replied, "Why don't you do like they...

Son's Note

##

A father was walking past his son's bedroom one day and happened to look in.

He was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up off the floor. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

Fearing t...

Good ole little Johnny was sitting in class

The teacher drew a line with three birds on it up on the blackboard.



"Ok, class, there are three birds on a wire, if one of the birds falls off, how many birds are left?"



As she erases one of the birds on the blackboard, little Susie in the front row raises her hand and...

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A kindergarten teacher asked her students what part of the body grew 10x its size when stimulated.

All of the students stayed quiet until Little Susie stood up and said, "I'm going to tell my mommy and daddy what you're teaching us!"

The teacher didn't answer her and asked the class again, "What part of the body grows 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Susie began to turn re...

Two blondes find a set of tracks in the snow.

"They're rabbit tracks!" Said Trixie.

"No, silly, they're Bear tracks!" Said Susie.

This went on for a while, until the train hit them.

Grandma and Grandpa are trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, has died.

“You know,” Grandma said, “it’s not so bad. Skipper’s probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.” Susie stops crying and asks, “What would God want with a dead dog?”

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Like father, almost like son.

Little 8-year-old Jimmy was getting ready for school in the morning, when he decided to go see what his dad was doing. He walked into his parents' room only to find that his dad wasn't quite dressed yet. He had his robe on, but it wasn't fastened and hung loose.


Little Jimmy glimpsed at h...

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A classroom of kids were learning all about common English proverbs. (LONG)

The teacher asked if anyone had a proverb they could talk about - the kids all put their hands up, including Little Johhny at the back. But the teacher chose Susie: "What's your story, Susie?"

"Well, Miss, my dad jumped into a creek and broke his leg on a big branch just under the water!"...

A teacher asked Jamaal what his father did...

Jamaal: My father is a doctor.
Teacher: Susie what about your father?
Susie: He is a lawyer.
Teacher: William?
William: My father...he’s passed.
Teacher: I’m sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died?
William: He clutched his chest and collapsed.

Adap...

An old man and his grand daughter were sitting together in a room

The grandfather says to his grand daughter;

' Susie, get me a newspaper, will ya'

The grand daughter says;

' Oh grandpa you are such a boring boomer, it's the 21st century we normal human beings use phones now'. 'Here take my phone', she hands over her phone to the old man.
<...

So a Sunday School teacher asks her class where Jesus is.

Little Susie says, “In Heaven!”

Little Amy says, “In my heart!”

Little Johnny says, “In my bathroom!”

Perplexed, the Sunday School teacher asks little Johnny why Jesus would be in his bathroom.

“I don’t know, I just hear my dad every morning banging on the bathroom door a...

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One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...

So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"

"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.

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So little Johnny is sitting in class one day.

The teacher asks,
“I want everyone here to go home and come up with a story that has a moral.”
So the next day the teacher calls on lil Susie. The teacher says,
“What is your story Susie?”
She replies,
“You have 12 eggs and only 4 of them become chicks.”
The teacher asks,
“Ok, ...

[long] Grandpa tells his stories of his time in the war

Susie's fifth-grade class was studying history, and she got permission to bring her grandfather in to class so they could hear his stories of being a wartime fighter pilot over Germany.

"We were the best fighter squad, given all the most dangerous missions," he told them. "Once, Jerry caught ...

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The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil.

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil.

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn'...

There were two sisters...

Once upon a time, in the wild, wild West there were two sisters, Jill and Susie. A relative of theirs dies and leaves the two sisters a ranch. The ranch was run down and they had little else to their name besides the ranch so they thought they'd invest what they had left into a stud bull to mate ...

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Little Johnny uses the word Contagious in a sentence.

A teacher gives her kids an assignment. Use the word contagious in your everyday life and report back to me tomorrow.
The next day all the kids are raising their hand.
The teacher calls on little Susie.
Little Susie, my little brother has the flue and if he sneezes on me I wi...

No Corona

Mike had just met Susie.

They went for a dinner and a movie, ending up in his pad.

She had just returned from China. She was jet lagged from the flight, with a mild cough.
The night was fun though.

He met her friend Mary the next weekend.

Mary: Hear about Susie?
...

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It's the first day of 3rd grade...

Their teacher wanted them to behave more grown up since they were no longer in second grade.

As such, the teacher told them to use grownup words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.

Susie went first and said she went to see her Nana....

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Using the word 'definitely'

A 3rd grade English teacher stood in front of her class and asked for volunteers to use the word 'definitely' to describe something.



The first student, Johnny, raised his hand and said "Teacher, the sky is definitely blue!"

The teacher responds "Well Johnny, sometimes the s...

Playing doctor

Susie and Johnny were playing doctor, when Susie suddenly started crying and ran to her mother.

Later the Susie's mother confronted the Johnny's mother. "My Susie said that your Johnny was playing doctor with her!".

Johnny's mother responded calmly, "that's OK, kids are always explorin...

A man goes into his son's room

to wish him Goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Auntie Susie dies. One week later...

So I got deported from China with a permanent travel ban for talking about my son

One day I decided to visit china. When I landed in the Chinese airport i found out that I received a text from my son Tyler saying that he won the town's annual drinking championship.

I decided to tell the wife about it and called her. It was very loud in the chinese airport and she couldn't...

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Happy Birthday Henry

Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a hooker to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super sex."

Henry looks her over, thinks for a...

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A Sunday school teacher was teaching her first-grade class.

"Class," she said, "what were the first words Jesus said when he walked out of the tomb on Easter morning?"

A little girl waved her hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! I know!" she said. "Pick me! Pick me!"

The teach smiled and said, "All right, Susie. What did Jesus say when he walked out...

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Teacher: Who can say a sentence with the word "beautiful" in it?

Susie: My mom plays the piano beautifully.

Teacher: No, I said beautiful!

Naomi: My mom smiles beautifully!

Teacher: No, I said beautiful! Who else can try? Little Johnny raised his hand.

Little Johnny: Yesterday my sister came home and told my dad that she was pregnant. ...

One my grandmother told me . . .

Little Susie's mother was sending her to the corner grocery store. "Ask for a pound of dried peas," she said. "And don't forget to ask Mr. Jones how his wife is feeling. She had a bad fall last week."
So Little Susie walks to the grocery repeating to herself, "A pound of dried peas, and how is...

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Little Johnny is in Catholic School

The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"

Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."

Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."

Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. J...

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Teacher asks students to use incompletely in a sentence

A teacher asked the students to use incompletely in a sentence. One student raises her hand and says " my homework is incomplete". The teacher says " close but I said to use incompletely". Little johnny raises his hand but knowing little johnnys tendencies the teacher was afraid to call on him. ...

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[NSFW] Little Johnny runs up to his dad after school and asks him,

"Dad, is it ok for me to stroke other people's pets?"

"Yes Johnny, as long as they say its alright".

"Then, is it alright for me to show my friends around our chicken farm?" asks Johnny

"Um, I don't see why not." replies his dad.

"Great! See ya."

"Where are you ...

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A young man strips down naked at a beach.

As he's lying on the sand naked he notices two very elderly women walking his way.

To prevent the women from having any sort of anxiety attack, the man quickly covers himself with sand not realizing his penis was still sticking out.

As both women approach they stop and stare in shock...

Halloween at an Elementary school

All the kids had showed up to school wearing costumes, and their teacher decided that she was going to give a special prize to the spookiest costume among the bunch.

Teacher: Why that's a lovely ladybug costume Susie, though it's not the spooky spirit we need here.

Susie: Aww shucks....

Little Johnny asked one day, "Mommy can little girls give birth?"

"No son. Of course not"

"Oh OK... Hey Susie! Its OK to keep playing the game now!"

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Almost...

The kindergarten teacher is warned about little Johnny’s vulgar mouth. He uses any excuse to say a bad word.

The teacher announces, “Class, today we are going to work on our alphabet. Who can spell a simple word that starts with ‘A’?”

Little Johnny’s hand shoots up. “Oh! Oh! Pick me...

A city lawyer goes to visit his farmer cousin in the country.

On arrival, he sees a pig with a wooden leg.

He asks his cousin, "What's the deal with that pig?"

The farmer replies, "Oh, he's special. When my daughter Susie was trapped in a burning barn, he ran in and saved her. And when my son Owen fell down a well, he came and got us and led us r...

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Little Johnny in creative writing

The teacher start creative writing class by saying, "Today I want you to write a sentence that uses the word 'beautiful' twice".

Susie goes first: "My mom bought me a beautiful dress and I look beautiful in it."

Next, the teacher calls on Mary: "Today is a beautiful sunny day, helping...

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Henry Kissinger was once asked to explain what shuttle diplomacy was.

– Oh! It is a never-failing old Jewish method. Let me give you an example. Suppose you want to marry Rockefeller’s daughter to a lad from a Siberian village.
– How would you do that?
– Easy. I go to a Siberian village, find there a young man and ask him, “Would you like to marry an American Je...

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A man comes home one day to his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen...

'What's wrong dearest?' asks the confused husband. 'Oh darling', sobbed the wife, 'I was cleaning little Susies room today and I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed along with a very erotic porn magazine! Whatever are we going to do??' 'Well', replied the man, 'I guess a spanking is out ...

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A teacher gave her class an assignment.....

She asked all the kids to come back to school the next day with a story, and what the story teaches you.

The next day she asked who wants to share their story. Little Johnny goes first and says "I live on a farm, and we had 12 chicken eggs, but only 10 of them hatched. That teaches you to...

A young man becomes a born again Christian after reading a religious flyer at his college.

He doesn’t initially tell his girlfriend, justifying the embarrassment as natural to any young infant in the faith. But in the following weeks his commitment escalates dramatically, and he takes up a position as a Christian missionary to Uganda.
One day the dreaded phone call wakes him up. Ob...

One day, Johnny comes home from school and asks his mother, "Mommy, how was I born?"

"The stork brought you here," says the mother.

"And how were my brother Joel and my sister Emily born?"

"The stork brought them, too."

"And how were you born?"

"The stork also brought me."

"Did the stork also bring Uncle George and Aunt Ruth and Cousin Evan and Cou...

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A teacher is talking to her kids about covid 19.

She asks them if anyone can explain what germs are? Little Susie speaks up and says they're like little bugs that you can catch from other people that can make you sick.


The teacher says, that's perfect. Now can anyone tell me why we should wash our hands? Little Timmy excitedly raises...

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"Let's start today's english class with the alphabet," says the teacher

"Who can give me a word beginning with the letter 'A'? "

"Asshole!" says Frank

"Frank! That's not a nice word!
OK then, who can give me a word beginning with the letter B?"

"Bastard!" says Susie!

"Susie! That's not a nice word!" Says the teacher, who now decides to mis...

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3rd Grade Classroom in a Chicken Farming Community

Miss Coral is a 3rd grade teacher in a rural community where almost all of the residents are chicken farmers. She decides to do a lesson with her students on stories with morals, and gives her students the homework of finding a story from their families that have morals.
The next day she asks ...

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Little Johnny is sitting in class

And the teacher is going over the alphabet. Knowing the kind of kid Johnny is, the teacher is careful about when to pick him to answer a question. "We will be going over the alphabet today so let's start with the letter A. Can someone tell me a word that starts with A?" asked the teacher. Every hand...

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