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Clint Eastwood Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

Clint Eastwood will make your day but anal sex will make your hole weak.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My office has Clint Eastwood toilet paper...

It's rough and tough and don't take shit off anybody.

Clint Eastwood turns up to his grandaughter's 5th birthday party...

Knowing that she loves the circus, he presents her with a stunning custom-made clown cake.



She is absolutely delighted and claps her hands with glee.



The party is almost over, Clint and the little girl are the only ones left in the kitchen and they decide to finish wha...

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Clint Eastwood says we’re the “pussy generation.”

Potty mouth.

How come there are so many Chuck Norris jokes but none about Clint Eastwood?

Clint Eastwood is no joke.

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I Like My Vaginas Like My Two Favorite Clint Eastwood Movies

Dirty Harry and Every Which Way but Loose

What does Clint Eastwood say to God every morning?

"Go Ahead Make My Day"

Clint Eastwood should do a movie where he is a crotchety old sysadmin.

Then we could have the line: "Get off my LAN."

What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class?

Go ahead, bake my clay.

*walks away slowly*

The short version of a long joke

Bernie brags at a bar that he knows lots of celebrities, including Clint Eastwood. When Phil calls him a liar, they bet on it, and Bernie takes him to Clint's house, where Bernie receives a warm welcome.

Weeks later Bernie brags about knowing the queen of England. Sure enough, Phil scoffs at...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This new amazon echo is really amazing

I set it up today and said “Make my day” and got a list of Clint Eastwood movies

Then I said “yippie Kay yay” and got a list of Bruce Willis movies

Just then my neighborhood kids were running and screaming outside the house

I muttered “Fucking kids”

And a bunch of Kev...

The Bubba Joke--long

Bubba is talking to his friend in a bar and boasts to his friend that he knows everyone in the world. His friend, of course, doesn’t believe him.
“If you know everyone in the world, name everyone in this bar.” Bubba proceeds to name everyone—Joey, Rachel, Sam, Johnny, Bart, until everyone is name...

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