Some people believe Monica Lewinsky was a Russian Spy

She would inform the Kremlin on what came out of the President’s head.

They were however unhappy when she blew the whole operation.

Monica Lewinsky and Hillary Clinton bump into each other at a party.

A dollar falls out of Monica's pocket. Hillary picks it up and says, "that's the second Bill we've shared."

Monica Lewinsky walks into a dry cleaner

She tells the man behind the counter that she has a dress that needs laundered. The hard-of-hearing man responds with "come again?" Ms. Lewinsky replies with "No, just mayonnaise this time."

The cast of Friends got shipwrecked on an deserted island...

Monica, Joey and Chandler were left behind because in real life David is a Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.

Did you hear about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican?

Apparently, the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Who said it

It was the first day of school and a new Indian student named Chandra Subramanian entered the 5th grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandra,...

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George Bush dies and goes to hell

Satan is already waiting for him.

'Well, I don't know what to do. See, you're on my list, but I have no free rooms for you. But you, you definitely have to stay in hell, so I'll have to find a solution. There are a few people here who aren't as bad as you are... I guess I'll let one go and yo...

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election.

She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

I would for Monica Lewinski for president.

She is a Republican with a splash of Democrat in her.

What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US leader.

In the future, Donald Trump passes away from a heart attack.

He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil." You're on my list, but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as yo...

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Sudden end of a longtime friendship

**Sudden end of a longtime friendship**
*a short story*

Monica was breastfeeding her son
while her best friend Soniya sat nearby...

Monica asked - 'Does my son resemble me or his father?'

Soniya - 'He looks like you, but he sucks exactly like his father!'

**The End*...

My bud Erik introduced me to his beautiful Indian friend, Monica. Being a nerd all my life, I thought I'd impress her with my typing speed. I wrote 70 words in a minute, and she was still unimpressed

Erik told me it was not her type

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Bill Clinton says "Hey Monica, you want to see the clock in the Oval Office?.......

She says "sure"... and goes in there. Bill Clinton unzips his pants and pulls out his little Billy.

Monica says "That's not a clock".

To which Bill replies "It is if you put two hands and a face on it".

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[NSFW] How Bill Clinton tricked Monica Lewinsky...

Clinton asked Lewinsky if she wanted to see the presidential clock and she replied yes.

So she followed him into the Oval Office and he turned around with his dick out and she said “Bill you nasty thing, that’s not a clock!”

Bill replied “It will be when you put two hands and a face on...

I still howl at the old Monica Lewinsky classic.

She was feeling self conscious because the tabloids were labeling her pudgy. So she asks her plastic surgeon to remove her love handles. When she comes out of anesthesia and looks in the mirror, she notices she doesn't have ears anymore.

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The Blowjob Class

Chantelle and her man are happily married, but their adventurous days in bed are long gone. To boost their sex life, Chantelle decides to participate in a blowjob class.

In the first lesson, the instructor introduced herself: "My name is Monica and I am a blowjob expert. What you will learn i...

What STD do Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica all share?

The *clap clap clap clap clap.*

I saw my friend Monica at the bar

I yelled over to her "WHAT'S UP, MONICA?"

All of a sudden, I got beat up by three black guys.

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy

"I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard."

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$1 joke from homeless man on Santa Monica pier- "What did 1 butt cheek say to the other butt cheek"

" Together We can stop this shit"

Donal Trump dies and goes to hell. When he arrives at the door, the devil said “I don’t know what to tell you. You’re on the list, but there’s no room left. However, there’s three people in here who all were better than you, so, here’s what I’ll do:

I’ll show you the three people, and their punishment, and I’ll let you choose which punishment you get. So, the devil opens one door, and Donald looks in. The was Richard Nixon, who dove into a pool of water, then after a few seconds, surfaced with nothing. Donald Trump said “I definitely can’t do t...

I really thought Monica Lewinsky should be on a dollar..

but she's already had her face on a Bill.

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

The question of Monica Lewinsky:

Did she blow a sitting U.S. president or blow him while standing?

Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year

Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job.

Did you hear about who went to DMX’s funeral?

There was Brenda, LaTisha (uh), Linda, Felicia (okay)
Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, and Alicia (ooh)
Theresa, Monica, Sharron, Nicki (uh-huh)
Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky (damn)
Cookie, well I met her in a ice cream parlor (aight?)
Tonya, Dianne, Lori and Carla (okay)
Marina (uh) Selena (uh...

Why didn't Monica Lewinsky get a tax return in 1995?

Clinton was paying her under the table.

Why did Monica Lewinsky change her fandom from the Packers to the Washington Redskins?

She likes Clinton-Dix

What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House?

Receiving heads of state.

What did Bill Clinton find attractive about Monica Lewinsky?

He said she had the prettiest smile he ever came across.

I must congratulate my Niece.

She has just passed he mouth Organ test.


Well done our Monica.....

Who is Monica Lewinsky's favorite football player?

Ha Ha Clinton Dix

Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars?

Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!

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Marine Biologist

My uncle is a marine biologist who grew up in Kansas. He moved to Los Angeles for grad school and never left. His first real job was as a lab tech at USC, where he spent several years before stumbling into a part-time instructor job, which he finally parlayed into a tenured faculty position. The wor...

I live in Santa Monica, Los Angeles. My girlfriend is taking a flight from London to come see me. I have promised her that I'll go pick her up from the airport

We'll both leave our respective houses at the same time :|

Hillary Clinton found out that Bill was getting it on with Monica Lewinsky.

She shrugged her shoulders and said "Better her than me."

Monica Lewinsky's statement on Hillary's run for President

Monica Lewinsky released the following statment on Hillary Clinton's run for President..
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton . The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth. As we get closer to the 2016 election year, citizens must remember that they cannot even trust Hillary Clinton ...

Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor

Because she's always blowing bills

Monica Lewinsky just turned 43

It seems like only yesterday she was crawling on the floor of the White House

What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?

All they talk about is the presidential erection

How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?

One U.S. Liter

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

What was Monica Lewinsky's high school yearbook superlative?

Most likely to suck seed.

Donald Trump goes to hell

Upon his arrival, the Devil greets him warmly and with an especially big smile on his face.

Devil:”Donald Trump, welcome to hell! I had an especially difficult time selecting your eternal punishment, and so for a treat I’m going to allow you to choose one one three doors and take the place o...

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At the beginning of class, the teacher introduced: "Children, today we welcome our new friend from Japan, his name is Suzuki Shakira."

Let start our lesson today by a few quizzes about American history !

\- Who said "Give me liberty or give me death." ?

The whole class was silent, only Suzuki raised his hand:

\- Patrick Henry, Philadelphia,1775.

\- Excellent ! Next one, who said "...government of the peo...

Cheer up Hilary!

At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.

not many people know the friends characters represent all seven deadly sins

**Phoebe:**

**Joey:**

**Chandler:**

**Monica:**

**The monkey:**

**Rachel:**

**Ross:** pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

I just realized seminal has two meanings

Monica Lewinsky's dress was both.

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A+ Book Reports on Titanic and Bill Clinton

The students at a local college were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton, and to write book reports. One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
...

It was a typo that caused Clinton's problems...

Monica was actually told to go down and sack his cook.

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Donald Trump dies and when he gets to hell he sees the Devil

The Devil says to him, "Donald we've been expecting you. Unfortunately we are full right now and don't have room for you. But if you want I'll show you three rooms I could make available to you."

Trump agrees and the Devil opens the door to the first room and they see Richard Nixon endlessly...

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Translation of the Bulgarian variation of the 1st day of school joke.

It's the 1st day of school at an American Middle School.

The teacher introduces the new student - Takiro Suzuki from Japan.

Class starts and she says:

- Now we will see if you know your history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death!"?

No one knows b...

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When Bill and Hillary first got married

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.”

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked ins...

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I had to go to the doctor's the other day, for a full examination.

While I was naked, he remarked how much my genitalia resembled a saxophone. I told him it was a family trait, we all had private parts that looked like musical instruments.


"Most remarkable" he mused, " I can't remember seeing anything like it in 30 years, apart from that one lady who's...

Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby are chatting...

Cosby: Have you ever had a cigar dipped in brandy?

Clinton: No, but I once had a cigar dipped in Monica.

Cosby: Now, why didn't I think of that...

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