I would for Monica Lewinski for president.

She is a Republican with a splash of Democrat in her.

Did you hear about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican?

Apparently, the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election.

She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

Trump ends up in hell...

Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as...

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Indian student in USA(NSFW)

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said: "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Ch...

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

I must congratulate my Niece.

She has just passed he mouth Organ test.


Well done our Monica.....

My bud Erik introduced me to his beautiful Indian friend, Monica. Being a nerd all my life, I thought I'd impress her with my typing speed. I wrote 70 words in a minute, and she was still unimpressed

Erik told me it was not her type

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Marine Biologist

My uncle is a marine biologist who grew up in Kansas. He moved to Los Angeles for grad school and never left. His first real job was as a lab tech at USC, where he spent several years before stumbling into a part-time instructor job, which he finally parlayed into a tenured faculty position. The wor...

I still howl at the old Monica Lewinsky classic.

She was feeling self conscious because the tabloids were labeling her pudgy. So she asks her plastic surgeon to remove her love handles. When she comes out of anesthesia and looks in the mirror, she notices she doesn't have ears anymore.

What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One U.S. Leader

Monica Lewinsky goes to the dry cleaner.

She says to the dry cleaner, “I have another dress for you Joe.”

Joe is hard of hearing and says, “come again?”

Monica says, “no, mustard this time!”

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[NSFW] How Bill Clinton tricked Monica Lewinsky...

Clinton asked Lewinsky if she wanted to see the presidential clock and she replied yes.

So she followed him into the Oval Office and he turned around with his dick out and she said “Bill you nasty thing, that’s not a clock!”

Bill replied “It will be when you put two hands and a face on...

What STD do Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica all share?

The *clap clap clap clap clap.*

I saw my friend Monica at the bar

I yelled over to her "WHAT'S UP, MONICA?"

All of a sudden, I got beat up by three black guys.

Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner.

"Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.

"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.

"No, mustard," Monica replies

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy

"I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard."

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Bill Clinton says "Hey Monica, you want to see the clock in the Oval Office?.......

She says "sure"... and goes in there. Bill Clinton unzips his pants and pulls out his little Billy.

Monica says "That's not a clock".

To which Bill replies "It is if you put two hands and a face on it".

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$1 joke from homeless man on Santa Monica pier- "What did 1 butt cheek say to the other butt cheek"

" Together We can stop this shit"

The question of Monica Lewinsky:

Did she blow a sitting U.S. president or blow him while standing?

I really thought Monica Lewinsky should be on a dollar..

but she's already had her face on a Bill.

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At the beginning of class, the teacher introduced: "Children, today we welcome our new friend from Japan, his name is Suzuki Shakira."

Let start our lesson today by a few quizzes about American history !

\- Who said "Give me liberty or give me death." ?

The whole class was silent, only Suzuki raised his hand:

\- Patrick Henry, Philadelphia,1775.

\- Excellent ! Next one, who said "...government of the peo...

Donald Trump goes to hell

Upon his arrival, the Devil greets him warmly and with an especially big smile on his face.

Devil:”Donald Trump, welcome to hell! I had an especially difficult time selecting your eternal punishment, and so for a treat I’m going to allow you to choose one one three doors and take the place o...

Why didn't Monica Lewinsky get a tax return in 1995?

Clinton was paying her under the table.

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A+ Book Reports on Titanic and Bill Clinton

The students at a local college were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton, and to write book reports. One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
...

not many people know the friends characters represent all seven deadly sins

**Phoebe:**

**Joey:**

**Chandler:**

**Monica:**

**The monkey:**

**Rachel:**

**Ross:** pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

Why did Monica Lewinsky change her fandom from the Packers to the Washington Redskins?

She likes Clinton-Dix

Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year

Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job.

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

It was a typo that caused Clinton's problems...

Monica was actually told to go down and sack his cook.

Hillary Clinton found out that Bill was getting it on with Monica Lewinsky.

She shrugged her shoulders and said "Better her than me."

What did Bill Clinton find attractive about Monica Lewinsky?

He said she had the prettiest smile he ever came across.

Who is Monica Lewinsky's favorite football player?

Ha Ha Clinton Dix

Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars?

Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!

I live in Santa Monica, Los Angeles. My girlfriend is taking a flight from London to come see me. I have promised her that I'll go pick her up from the airport

We'll both leave our respective houses at the same time :|

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George Bush dies and goes to hell

Satan is already waiting for him.

'Well, I don't know what to do. See, you're on my list, but I have no free rooms for you. But you, you definitely have to stay in hell, so I'll have to find a solution. There are a few people here who aren't as bad as you are... I guess I'll let one go and yo...

What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House?

Receiving heads of state.

Monica Lewinsky's statement on Hillary's run for President

Monica Lewinsky released the following statment on Hillary Clinton's run for President..
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton . The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth. As we get closer to the 2016 election year, citizens must remember that they cannot even trust Hillary Clinton ...

Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor

Because she's always blowing bills

Monica Lewinsky just turned 43

It seems like only yesterday she was crawling on the floor of the White House

What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?

All they talk about is the presidential erection

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?

One U.S. Liter

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I had to go to the doctor's the other day, for a full examination.

While I was naked, he remarked how much my genitalia resembled a saxophone. I told him it was a family trait, we all had private parts that looked like musical instruments.


"Most remarkable" he mused, " I can't remember seeing anything like it in 30 years, apart from that one lady who's...

What was Monica Lewinsky's high school yearbook superlative?

Most likely to suck seed.

Cheer up Hilary!

At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.

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Translation of the Bulgarian variation of the 1st day of school joke.

It's the 1st day of school at an American Middle School.

The teacher introduces the new student - Takiro Suzuki from Japan.

Class starts and she says:

- Now we will see if you know your history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death!"?

No one knows b...

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Donald Trump goes to hell

Upon arriving the devil tells him that they are out of space but he definitely belongs there and he's gonna have to take the spot of someone else.

The 1st Room they go to has Adolf Hitler huffing puffing and shuffling papers around a desk. Donny says he definitely doesn't want any of that.<...

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Donald Trump dies and when he gets to hell he sees the Devil

The Devil says to him, "Donald we've been expecting you. Unfortunately we are full right now and don't have room for you. But if you want I'll show you three rooms I could make available to you."

Trump agrees and the Devil opens the door to the first room and they see Richard Nixon endlessly...

Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby are chatting...

Cosby: Have you ever had a cigar dipped in brandy?

Clinton: No, but I once had a cigar dipped in Monica.

Cosby: Now, why didn't I think of that...

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When Bill and Hillary first got married

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.”

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked ins...

yo whats bill clintons favorite musical instrument????

THE HARM MONICA, FOLKS

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Saxophone penis...

A guy goes to the doctors with a problem with his penis. The doctor takes a look and his penis is shaped uncannily like a saxophone.



"Wow,", the doctor exclaims,"that's incredible."



"Yes,", replies the guy,"in my family, we all have genitals that resemble various musica...

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Osama goes to hell

He arrives and the devil greets him. "Welcome" the devil says. "You have been a very bad man and you deserve to be here". "I will give you three options and you will decide which one you will do for eternity!"

The devil takes Osama to the first door and opens it. There is Michael Jackson fil...

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Trump dies and goes to Hell

Upon arrival the Devil tells Trump he can choose one of three punishments set before him. Trump agrees.

So the Devil and Trump go to see Nixon swimming endless laps in a pool. Satan asks Trump if this will suit him. Trump says no I can't swim forever.

So they continue on. The secon...

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I had to go to the Doctors this morning.

Had to strip off, the Doc immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone. I explained it was a family trait and we all had genitalia shaped like musical instruments.He was amazed and said "Well in 25 years as a GP I've never seen nothing like it,having said th...

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