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Yawn Jokes

Wife: "When I was talking to you, I saw you yawn 5 times. Am I boring you?"

Me: "I wasn't yawning. They were unsuccessful attempts to speak. "

I decided to try the old yawn and put your arm around them trick

The guy at the urinal next to mine wasn't amused.

I thought this guy on the subway was yawning.

Turns out he was just a mute sitting on a tack.

I told my wife she was pretty and she just yawned.

I guess she was pretty tired.

What did the very lazy husband say to his very lazy wife when he saw her yawning ?

"Now that your mouth is already open, call our son to switch off the light".

Shawn: *yawns* I'm tired

Shaun: *yauns* me too

Sean: *yeans* yeah same

One day an old Ukrainian man found an antique lamp

He starts it to polish it off and 'Poof', a genie appears in a cloud of smoke.

"Hoho, Mortal!" says the genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing me I will grant you three wishes."

The old man thinks for a moment, and says, "I want Genghis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-...

An old joke from Germany, when Trump jad just became President...

Trump is on Europe tour. He stops by in Germany and visits Mrs. Merkel in the german pariament; the 'Bundestag'.

He sees that everything there is working out just fine, so he asks her: "How do you do that?"
"What?", she asks.
"That everything works out so well?"

"Oh, that's easy....

At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence…

Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Sa...

Shawn (yawning): “I’m so freaking tired”

Sean (yeaning): “me too.”

Someone once tried to tell me a really boring joke about chicken seasoning

I just said "Boo! Yawn!"

Two ninjas watch an enemy approach. The first ninja nudges the other and says, "he can't cross without being attacked, can he?" The other ninja, stretches and yawns, and replies

"shuriken."

What did the tired dragon make for dinner?

Flamin yawn.

Shawn: *yawns*

Sean: *yeans*

This is a joke my four year old son would have told me if I had a four year old son and if he could understand and interpret the English language.

A weary traveler is riding the subway home. It's late and he releases a long drawn out yawn. An old man sitting across from him starts warning him to stop yelling.

The weary traveler lets out another long drawn out yawn due to extreme exhaustion. The old man stands up - points at him an...

What happens when a dragon gets bored of strip steaks?

Flaming Yawn

Women wake up yawning and men with an erection.

Coincidence?

I think not.

What’s a tired dragon’s favorite steak?

Flaming yawn

What is the most powerful word in English?

Yawn

What material does a New Yorker like to make his pajamas out of?

Yawn

Why did the deaf airplane passenger panic?

They saw the flight attendant yawn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy and Jessica Drew walk into a bar for superheroes. After a few rounds of drinks, they got to arguing over which of them was the greatest super-heroine..

Gwen Stacy: I’m Spider Gwen, so me being the best goes without saying.




Mary Jane: *Yawn*




Jessica Drew: Well I’m Spider-Woman! You can’t get any better than that!






Mary Jane: *Boring*.



Gwen Stacy: Oh, we’re boring you, MJ?...

Tired of his parent's incessant harangue a very lazy young man went for fishing to add some fishes in their menu.

While sitting for fishing he felt very sleepy and was yawning. An old timer saw his lackadaisical approach and poked him, "Son, why are you working so hard? Just go to home and take a nap. It won't be hard for you I guess." The young man replied, "No. I have to catch some fish. But it seems very har...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German Man, A Swedish Man, and an Israeli Man Are Kidnapped by ISIS

“Listen up infidels,” says the ISIS member, you have on last with before I kill you.”

The German pleads for mercy, “Germany has always embraced your people, what have I done to deserve this ?” After no answer, he deicdes he wants sausage and a good beer.

Next, the Swedish man screams a...

At a state dinner, both the King of the Czech lands and the King of France happened to witness a murder.

The next day, they held a joint conference to describe what they each had seen. As the King of France gave his recollection of the details of the murder, the audience gasped and clutched their handkerchiefs and at the end swooned in amazement. But when the King of the Czech lands gave his eyewitness...

What do you call a sleepy father getting pizza for his kid?

Papa Yawns

Viking warlord Rudolph the Red is awoken suddenly in the night.

Opening his eyes, he turns over to look out his window. A loud pattering sound fills his hut. “What is that?” asks Rudolph’s wife.

Rudolph gets out of bed to get a closer look outside. After a few seconds of observation, he comes to a conclusion. “It’s raining,” he informs his wife. Sleepily...

A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wond...

Wife brings home a street cat

The husband hated the cat however and one day carried him a short walk down the road and left it there.

When he arrived home he was shocked to find the cat was already there eating some food the wife had given him. Before it could finish however the man again took the cat and this time rode ...

Husband goes with his wife to her high school reunion

After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.

The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance. There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for p...

I was pretty good at nuclear physics...

Everytime I yawned in class, I'd set off a chain reaction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jim walks into a bar with his arm in a sling.

He sits next to his friend Bill and orders two shots of whiskey.

Bill asks him, "How'd you break your arm, Jim?"

Jim downs a shot of whiskey and says, "Well, you see, about two years ago--"

Bill interrupts him, "Woah woah, two YEARS! You didn't break your arm two YEARS ago!"
...

The best beer in the world

An American, a Duchman and an Irishman walked into a bar. Ill have a Budweiser, the best beer in the world, said the American. Ill have a Heineken, said the Dutchman, the ONLY beer in the world. The Irishman yawned and said, Oh, I guess Ill just have a glass of water like these girls are having.
...

Donald trump was getting his daily briefing...

“Sir, there was another 60,000 cases of corona and a thousand Americans died”

“Huh” - the orange elder barely nods and continues watching Fox.

“Sir- also there was a riot in downtown DC and two cops and fourteen protesters are dead and sixteen in custody”
“Yawn... next”, replies th...

A Mexican bear walks into a bar

He stretches, yawns, then says "Oso tired"

2 Yetis meet on a dating app

2 Yetis matched on a dating app one day. One was American, the other European. In spite of American Yeti’s peculiarities and the yawning physical gap between them, they hit it off. Having gone back and forth for a little while, American Yeti asks European Yeti for a picture. European Yeti happily ob...

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