What rock group has 4 members that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

I told Sam not to sing, unfortunately

Samsung

I tried to sing “Danger Zone” five times at karaoke night, but kept forgetting the lyrics.

They eventually kicked me off stage.
Too many Loggins attempts.

I'm going to sing in Chinese.

(censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)

What do you call a computer that sings?



Adele

Why does Bono sing acapella when hes feeling down?

It takes the edge off it

Honey why do you always stand by the window when I sing?

It's so the neighbours don't think I am beating you.

Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…"

"…country music."

I want Yoko Ono to sing at my wedding.

It'll be the first time she's ever sung.

What's big, gray, and sings jazz?

Elephantzgerald

Don't try and tell me you didn't sing that!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mic...

What is green, and sings

Elvis Parsley

I want the get 99 dudes together to sing Africa by Toto

Because that's something that 100 men or more could never do.

What’s gonna happen if you sing blues backward

It stops raining, your wife returns, your dog resurrects

In Avicii's song 'The Days', he sings: "We made a promise to never get old"

At least he was a man of his word.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A survey shows that 85% of men masturbate in the shower. The remaining 15% sing. Do you know what they sing?

...No, I thought you probably didn't. ;)

My friend wants me to sing at his funeral.

He wants people to know there are worse things than death.

The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away

A whim away,
A whim away,
A whim away,
A whim away,

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Many sing in the shower, but rarely in the bathroom

Maybe because the audience is shit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn't the pony sing?

He was a little hoarse.

What happens if you sing country music in reverse?

You get your wife and job back.

Why can’t pirates sing the alphabet?

Because they get lost at sea!
(My friend told me this idk if someone else posted before)

Why don’t MacBooks sing?

Because you need A Dell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Solid Snake sing when he gets drunk and horny during 80’s Karaoke Night?

“...Cum on Mei Ling~”

Do you know why birds sing in the morning?

Because they don’t have to go to work!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

Some crocodiles decided to get together and sing parody songs.

It's a pun-croc band.

What does Tom do before it's his turn to sing?

Tom Waits.

If the Rolling Stones sing "hey, you, get offa my cloud!", what do the Scots sing?

"Hey, MacLeod, get offa my ewe."

A random child is walking on the sidewalk. He stops, and beautifully sings, “A pore!”

Three years later, he is a star and is given an award. He gives a speech.
“Thank you, everyone. But mostly to my family. They told me we were going to Singapore, and I did. I just wonder why I’ve never seen them again...”

Sam could sing six magic note

when he sang the seventh he blew up. Do you know why?

















Samsung note 7

What does thanos sing in the shower?

Another one bites the dust

A teacher is about to sing a song he made for his students

He then started:

-Joe, kiss my toe! Ferdinand, kiss my hand!

He abruptly stops singing and asks:

Why are you leaving the classroom, Patrick?

What do you sing when you kill Dracula's last clone?

"It's the final countdown"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy talks about his experience at the brothel with his friend

1st guy: "Yo man I just had this amazing time at the brothel. This girl was able to blow me and sing to me at the same time!"

2nd guy: "No way! How'd she do it?"

1st: "No idea. The only condition she had was that I put on a blindfold. I got an idea. I'm gonna invite her to my house ton...

What happens when you make a Llama sing along to a song by the Cranberries?

You get a zombie alpacalips

What’s a NASCAR driver’s favorite song to sing to other drivers during a race?

Blue Bayou

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named clearly

suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

I want Family Guy to sing supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...

...though Disney probably won't let them because they find the idea quite atrocious.

Why do fish always sing off key?

Because you can't tuna fish

What do Asian people sing to their children at night?

Wok a bye baby.

A little Jewish boy runs up to his mom and says, "Mama, I wanna sing really loud!"

His mother says, "Shush with that! Not in the house!"

So the boy runs up to his grandmother and says, "Gramma, I wanna sing really loud!"

And his grandmother says, "My darling, you do whatever you want."

So the boy takes in a deep breath...

*"My Mom's tellin' me nooooo......

What do you call a black person who sings well?

A vocal minority

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man finally hires the famous hooker who can give a blowjob and sing at the same time

Indeed, for months, the man's friends had been telling him about this hooker who gives amazing blowjobs while singing, so, even though he was sceptical, the man finally took action and hired her.

When the hooker finally comes, the man asks her if she can sing a national anthem while doing he...

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I said to a blonde girl I bet you a blowjob I can sing a song with your name in it, no way says the blonde my name is Chantelle so I bet you, Ok I said here we go....

Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday Chantelle happy blow job for me...

Which went up to sing karaoke, rock, paper, or scissors?

Rock. He was Boulder.

How do you get a duck to sing the blues?

Put it in the oven till it's bill withers.

I love to sing in the shower

Until I get shampoo in my mouth, then it becomes a soap opera

When the girls sing "They did the mash" and then the guy chimes in with "They did the *monster* mash"

That's wolfmansplaining

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I like to wind down the windows of my car, and sing at the top of my lungs to strangers walking by.

I was never meant to be a hearse driver.

Nothing beats a beautiful woman that can also sing

Well, except Chris Brown.

[NSFW] She gives head and sings at the same time

A guy, let's call him John. John moves to his new place in Manhattan for work. John doesn't know anybody there; he's gotta start fresh.

After a few days of getting acquainted with his co-workers at the office, he's invited out to the bar for a few drinks. When they walk in, they all start to...

What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies?

A fart.


*dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*

What song did the Saudi consulate pokemon player sing?

Gotta catch Jamal

How do you make an octopus sing an octave higher?

Kick him in the tentacles.

The lead singer of Smash Mouth is up late with a friend.

The lead singer of Smash Mouth is up late with a friend. His wife's not home; the past few nights she's returned past midnight with increasingly elaborate alibis. He's getting frustrated; he loves her, but he's not sure he can keep giving her the benefit of the doubt. His friend asks what he's go...

Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"

I couldn't if I tried.

I hate singers that sing in unison.

But I wouldn't harmony.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Beyoncé sing "to the left, to the left"?

Because black people don't have rights.

What computer can sing the song "Hello"?

A Dell.

I was having trouble finding a singing partner,

so I bought myself a duet yourself kit.

My computer sings „Hello“ everytime I walk through the room

It‘s a dell

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.