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Characters Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Harry Potter has way too many characters...

Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters

So Trump can't tweet it

I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing

It would definitely spice up my autobiography.

The blonde's computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital

So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany."

My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

My password needed to be 8 characters.

So I used “Snow White and the Seven
Dwarves.”

All the characters in Harry Potter are so well-developed. Well, except Nearly-headless Nick...

He was poorly executed.

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it.

It’s really hard to Frodo

How do Halloween characters listen to their music?

Scare pods

Why don't Star Wars characters go to church?

They're scared of the *pews*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm so tired of all these "historically" based movies and books that change the characters' skin color to pander to the masses

Like, what's up with this Jesus being white bullshit.

What do you call it when you kill Disney characters?

A Mickey Mousacre

M&M's Redesigns Its Characters' Looks and Personalities to Be 'Representative of Today's Society'

It's rumored the Yellow M&M is going trans and getting his nut removed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marge Simpson was one of TV’s first LGBTQ+ characters

She was animation’s first Homer-sexual

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got done watching a show with unlikable characters, bullshit plot developments, and a depressing ending.

It's called "The News."

Bloody Passwords

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
...

Password audit

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

How many of Shakespeare's characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to contemplate how a lightbulb is as mortal as any human, and one to spend the afternoon debating whether to murder his uncle.

Why do Amoung Us characters bottle up their emotions?

Because they get kicked out of the group when they vent.

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

I have forgotten the names of all the characters in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

But Quasimodo rings a bell.

Where do Nintendo Characters shop?

Ike-ea, Waa-Greens, Hot Togepi, Break the Target, Lush Ultimate, Wet-Spheal, Mushroom Kingdom (think about it), Abercombie and Squid, and Walmarth.

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans...

They always root for the away team

What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16?

They grow cubic hair!

A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the passwor...

Why are there no wheel chair characters in battle royal games?

Because it's last person standing wins.

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity

Just like one of his characters.

(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)

Too Many Characters

A dumb college blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

"What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian.

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot what...

We should have an orgy with all the Dr. Seuss characters

Whos with me

Why did the characters in Lost cross the island?

To get to the others' side

Marvel kills half of your favorite characters

Nintendo kills %99.9 of them

Johnny Depp gets so immersed in his characters that I can never tell if its him or not...

I guess i have really bad Depp perception

My my wife said she was leaving me because of my wierd obsession with Marvel characters.

I said, please Yondu that.

All of the Undertale characters had a big orgy...

But nobody came.

Catching imaginary characters

"How much time do you waste catching imaginary characters on your phone" my father said to me as I was playing Pokemon Go.


And then he left for the temple.

I visited a load of French towns doing impressions of Star Trek characters.

Dunkirk?

Yea, did all of them.

How do Super Smash Bros characters talk to the dead?

Waluigi board



Get bamboozled

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw one of those animated pornos that basically makes fictional characters have sex.

This one was about a certain famous, big superhero guy in red with an 'i' on his shirt, I can't remember his name. Anyway, the film was surprisingly good and left me thinking, 'that's just fucking incredible'.

In most cartoons I watched, characters were able to come back from near death by having water splashed on their face.

On a completely unrelated note, I am no longer allowed at funerals…

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