I went to the shop the other day to buy six cans of Sprite.
It was only when I got home that I realised I had picked 7 Up.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,...
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
I ate five cans of alphabet soup earlier.
Just had the biggest vowel movement ever.
I always get sad when I crush my drink cans.
It’s soda pressing.
I swallowed two cans of helium today
HeHe
Why is crushing pop cans taxing on one's mental health?
Because it's soda pressing.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
When Bill and Hillary Clinton got married, Bill informed Hillary that he had a shoebox under the bed, and she was never to open it under any circumstances. Hillary agreed and promised to never open the box.
Hillary respected his wish as the years went by and kept her promise. But after several years of marriage, Hillary's curiosity got the best of her. She opened the box and found several hundred dollars in cash, and a couple of empty beer cans.
She felt guilty, and confessed to Bill that she ha...
Garbage can
An old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.
He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.
Then a new school year began.
The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came dow...
Cans of paint
A man knocks on his neighbor's door:
"Hi. I noticed you painted your bedroom last month and since we have a similar house, I thought I'd ask you how many cans of paint you bought."
"Sure thing! We bought seven cans"
"Awesome, thanks!"
A few days later, the man knocks on h...
What’s the difference between a dark, morbid, and absurd joke?
Dark is 10 children in 1 trash can. Morbid is 1 child in 10 trash cans. Absurd is 10 trash cans in 1 child.
Which beer cans do cops shoot at for target practice?
Black and tan.
Where are those little 8oz Coke cans manufactured?
*Minisoda*
So, today my boss asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite for a meeting.
However, when I returned, I realised that I had picked 7 up instead
I took a class recently on the history of food preservation.
In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy to mold/shape, and didn’t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.
Things went great for a while, with some food...
what do you call a can opener that cant open cans
a can't opener
The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.
Its soda pressing.
(tch tch, that was lame)
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
Trash cans are all vigilantes
They keep our streets clean when others won't.
A Polish joke translated to english
Two guys were living in the same apartment building in identical flats. The first guy visits the second one and sees that he just painted his flat and it looks great. "This looks amazing" the first guy says and asks how many cans of paint he bought. The second guy says he bought seven. The nex...
Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store.
I don’t know how they can sleep at night.
Humans and trash cans are very similar
If you stomp the foot, the mouth opens!
Why is it called "canning" if it's storing things in glass containers and not cans?
Because renaming it at this point would be jarring.
If they made cans square...
root beer would just be beer.
What do Kardashians and trash cans have in common?
They both contain a lot of plastic.
What do you call a conversation between two garbage cans.
Trash Talk.
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