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Caesar Salad Jokes

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A waiter takes an order from a customer who asks for half a Caesar salad.

The waiter says "Well, we have a small and a large, would you like the small?"

The customer says, "No, I don't want a small or a large. I want HALF a Caesar salad. Why is that so hard?"

The waiter says "Ok.... let me go check with the chef." The waiter walks off toward the kitchen, but...

Any salad can be a Caesar salad.

You just need to stab it enough times.

For dinner tonight, don’t forget to stab your Caesar salad 23 times.

Today is the Ides of March.

A Caesar salad walks in to a bar

A piece of Romaine stabs him in the back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In order to make a Caesar salad, fill a bowl with regular salad...

... Then stab the fucker.

What did the caesar salad say when the final touches were being added?

Et tu, crout?

I have done some research, and discovered what food you are most likely to die of a heart attack.

"Caesar Salad."


[OC.]

I was never a very good waiter. On my first day, two ladies came in and ordered:

First lady: "I'll have a garden salad please"

Second lady: "Caesar salad for me please"

So I brought the first lady her garden salad, then seized it and gave it to the second lady.

There was once a chicken who was in a loving relationship with a salad. Unfortunately, the salad died and went to heaven. A few years later, the chicken got run over trying to cross the road. The chicken died and went to heaven.

Finally, the chicken Caesar salad.

What did Shakespeare eat for lunch?

Caesar salad.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know how you can tell if the olive oil is extra virgin?

If it screams while being poured onto a Caesar salad.

At dinner last night

The waiter kept making the freudian slip calling the caesar salad caesarean salad. I asked him if he had any natural births, because I am eating organic.

Nobody at the table found this funny so I thought I would share because I found it hilarious.

I got stabbed by my friends at lunch today

Guess I shouldn't have ordered the Caesar salad

What did Romans do for food when they got caught between cannibalism and veganism?

Caesar Salad.

King of the Crouton

Bobby Hill asks his father, Hank:

"What are the primary ingredients in a Caesar salad?"

Hank Hill responds:

"Dang it Bobby, that's an easy one.
Romaine and romaine accessories"

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

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