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Cab Fare Jokes

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.

"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit for the inauguration and stay with me for a few days."

"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."

"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"

"Oh, but you know, cab fare ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

taxi cab

A businessman takes a vacation in Vegas. He has a horrible run of luck, and spends his life savings and maxes out his credit cards. All he has left is his airline ticket home.

Getting into a taxi, he explains his plight to the cabbie. He offers to leave his drivers license or anything else u...

So this guy loses all his money in Vegas...

...& doesn't have cab fare to airport. He hails taxi anyway, explains situation & promises to send fare from home. He offers credit card #'s, drivers license #, his address, etc...


Cabbie: ''If you don't have 15 bucks, get the hell out of my cab loser!''
He ends up walking 5 mi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Priceless

Cost of a candle-lit dinner for two: £80

Cost for theatre show tickets: £65

Cab fare home: £30

The look on his face when you tell him you're on your period: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's anal.

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