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A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people...

At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.

Before he faces his sentence, he's offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him. The next day, he's led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing hap...

I think Model Trains cast an unrealistic beauty standard on actual trains...

But model trains never eat and real trains are always CHEW CHEW CHEW-ing

(A joke my physics teacher told) There was a Bulgarian man who drove trains for a living...

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incid...

How do trains hear?

With their engineers

A steam train engineer had a new apprentice... [long]

The older man showed the young lad the coal car, the boiler, and so on.

"What should I call you, lad?" the engineer barked.

"Charles, sir," replied the apprentice timidly.

"I have been working steam trains for thirty years," the older man roared, "and I have \_never\_ addressed ...

Why did the Hispanic man keep purchasing trains?

I'm not quite sure myself honestly but he has to have some sort of locomotive.

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What do Toy Trains and Boobies have in common?

They're meant for the kids, but dad likes to play with them too.

A Soviet era joke about the value of hard work - Drink vodka, play cards

*This joke was told to me by a former colleague who was Russian, and had lived and worked under the Soviet system. He was a nuclear engineer there... and the only member of his team not sent to Chernobyl to help in the clean up. Anyway, like our hero of this story, I was fresh faced and a little hig...

Trains never get angry...

..cuz they're always blowing off steam!

I was sitting opposite to a stunning thai girl in the train

saying to myself "please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection!".

Unfortunately, she did.

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Model trains are like breasts

They are there for the children but it’s the father that winds up playing with them the most.

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