UPJOKE
houseconstructionhallrooffloorarchitecturedormitorywalledificecornerstoneframecornerwindowstructurecenter

Buildings Jokes

I have a fear of overly intricate buildings.

I have a complex complex complex.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings

The Physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.
The engineer pulls out a calculater, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times tha...

Several churches started having problems with squirrels damaging their buildings.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had ...

A Muslim, a Buddhist and a Christian are forced to jump off a building

So the Buddhist man jumps first. He prays: Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha... When he reaches the ground, he lands safely.



The next one is the Muslim. He jumps, and prays: Inshallah, Inshallah, Inshallah... Upon reaching the ground, he smashes so hard and dies instantly.


...

What do you call a dog that works on top of buildings?

A ruffer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two drunk guys are standing atop a tall building

While opening another beer, one guy says "It's crazy how windy it is up here!"
The other answers in slurred speach "Yeah, it's because of all the tall buildings here in the city center. This building is actually a special spot. There are such strong crosswinds here that you can actually jump of...

Why do the buildings that shelter horses never run into any problems ?

Because they’re stable

I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings

Apparently it's an Apartment Complex

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking?

Don't look down.

Which breed of dogs can jump higher than buildings?

Any dogs, because buildings can't jump.

Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side.

There were two friends who had to jump across two buildings…

The first friend jumped across no problem, but the second friend was scared of falling. The first friend pulled out a flashlight and said “Hey, I will shine a light between the gap and you walk across the beam”
The second friend replied with “You think i’m crazy? You will just turn it off halfway...

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building.

It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

A Jewish man is stranded on an island for 20 years

He is finally rescued by a team, and he insists on showing them the life he’s built for himself there. They come across a small clearing with a bunch of makeshift buildings.

He points to the closest one, “That’s my home.” He continues to point to the other buildings as they walk by.

“T...

TIFU when my wife asked when I knew I loved her.

I said "We were in Rome, the way you knew so much about the city like it was second nature to you. But I never felt you were condescending to me when I'd ask stupid questions. I saw how much you knew, how passionate you could be. I'd been bored by all the old buildings, but you brought it all to lif...

Why do TV-detectives hate round buildings?

The solution is always right around the corner.

What do you call a reptile that sits between two buildings?

An Alleygator

I'be always been afraid of over engineered buildings

Is a complex-complex complex

What do you call the anxiety you feel when you’re in a maze of buildings?

A complex complex complex

Do you know why jehovas witnesses buildings don't have windows?

Its so God can't see what they're doing in there.

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by

Then he spoke:“Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses.“Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center.“Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours.“To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.”
The nurse was really impressed. She said, “Your husband must have been ...

Centuries later, key US government buildings still accurately represent the people inside them

They're mostly old and white.

Caesar: Brutus, what do you call those pillars we use in our buildings?

Brutus: Columns, sir.
Caesar: You call them sir? I know you don't have the authority I do, but have *some* self-respect.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A communist spy and an American spy are camping out in opposite buildings on Moscow.

Each one knows the other is there but thinks the other does not know that they are there. After hours of spying each one decides they need to go out for some fresh air. However, since both would be easily recognized they decide to put on disguises. The Communist, a female, puts on an elaborate mal...

What would you call if spiderman starts jumping around buildings instead of swinging using his spider webs?

Peter Parkour

What do you call a fear of over-engineered buildings?

A complex complex complex

Credit to some guy named Slow Poke on YouTube

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Certain japanse buildings had creaking floorboards which would alarm the guards if there were intruders.

That seems like a sound strategy to me.

What do you call a Muslim person standing between two buildings?

Muhammad Alley

What do you call a collection of weapons kept for the purpose of burning down buildings?

An arsonal

Architects call a layer of bricks a wythe. After the Great Fire of London, where thousands of wooden buildings were destroyed, King Henry VIII passed a law that the walls of all new buildings must be made of at least six layers of brick.

This is known as the six wythes of Henry the Eighth.

What's the tallest buildings in your city?

The Library. because it has the most stories!

Why do flower merchants refuse to work in two-story buildings?

Because they're floorists.

I hear they're building apartment buildings for detectives only

They're calling them Sherlock Homes.

(A joke I wrote myself) A Russian man walks through the streets of Moscow.

As he passes by the headquarters of a major company, he notices a poor man in decrepit clothes standing by the building, seemingly waiting for something, looking at the sky. "Another poor crazy weirdo", he thinks. He keeps on walking.

The next day, he passes near another company's HQ, and see...

A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck.

The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.”

The woman, astounded, t...

My mother took to me one of those buildings where they take the mentally ill.

A church.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.