This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Amish boy and his father are visiting a nearby mall. They are amazed by almost everything they see, but especially by two shiny silver walls that move apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asks, “What is this, father?”

​

The father, having never seen an elevator, responds, “I have no idea what it is.”

​

While the boy and his father are watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to the moving walls and presses a bu...

We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall

Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.

Why are there walls around a cemetery

Because people are dying to get in

A man goes to heaven, and to his surprise, he sees a huge wall covered in clocks.

A man goes to heaven, and after walking through the gates, he gets escorted to a waiting room. In the room, he sees a huge wall, covered in clocks. Each clock has only one hand, and each hand has a name written on it. Some clocks are moving rather slowly, while others go a full circle in less than t...

I know now why Trump wants to build a wall

It's been years since he managed to erect anything

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

DAM

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall...

The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
...

Hey Trump supporters, can I tell you a joke about the wall?

Never mind, you won’t get it.

A German, a Frenchman and an Englishman go fishing...

They fish quite happily for a while until the German catches a huge golden fish, but as he pulls it off the hook it says "Please don't kill me! Spare my life and I'll grant you all a wish!"

The German throws the fish back and says "I wish for a mug of beer that will never empty", and immediat...

What do Mexicans think about Trumps wall?

They'll get over it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Trump's gonna build the wall out of...

Hillary's emails. Nobody can get over those fuckin' things apparently

An Irishman and an Englishman find a lamp

Upon rubbing it a genie pops out and says For freeing me, I will grant you each one wish!"
The Englishman says "I love my country, but it's being ruined by foreigners. I wish a wall to be built around it so that no one else can get in."
The genie says, "Done. And you, Irishman?"
The Irishm...

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

Two fish are swimming in a river when they both run into a brick wall...

One looks at the other and says "dam"

An American tourist is traveling in Thailand and stops over in a small border village for a meal. While the inside of the restaurant is rather small and modest, it does have a beautifully designed ant farm covering most of one wall. Curious, he asks the old man running the restaurant about it.

“Ah,” says the old man. “I use the ant eggs to make a dish called maengman chom. The Cambodians who visit here especially love it; they spend so many riel on it that I had that display made to show off the ants. It’s a specialty of mine; would you like to try some?”

“Ant eggs are a little exo...

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans

This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water

How many babys does it take to paint a wall?

Well it depends on how hard you throw them

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers.

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers. They traveled to a Hydra base surrounded by four barriers.

When they got to the first barrier, Hulk smashed it.

When they got to the second barrier, Tony Stark fired up his Iron Man suit and blasted a hole through it.

When they got to the t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Trump’s wall is just like his penis.

He keeps talking about how great it will be, but nobody wants to see it, and he can’t even get it up.

Although we may never see Trump Wall...

... we all just got to see Trump Cave.

What do you call an Irishman that won't stop bouncing off the walls?

Rick O'Shea

A man dies, goes to heaven, and sees a wall full of clocks.

The man asks God what all the clocks are for, and God explains, "these are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."

Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose clock is that?"

"That's George Washington's", God answers. "The hands have ne...

My wife accidentally hit a wall with her elbow and said “Ow! That was my not-funny bone!”

I disagreed. It was humerus.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Thai woman runs into a wall, what does she break?

Her boner.

I got mad and threw my mouse at the wall because it wasn’t working..

I don’t know why the people at the vet are giving me that look.

Coming from a Chinese person, Trump's wall totally works.

I can confirm there are no Mexicans in China.

You know what, I'm starting to think the wall might be a good idea.

I mean, China built one and I don't see any Mexicans over there.

Did you guys hear this joke about Trumps Mexican border wall?

It’s hilarious. I’m still trying to get over it.

Trump should hire the Chinese to build the wall.

They had one for over 2000 years and they still don't have any Mexicans.

If we did build a wall, it definitely would work

China built a wall, do you see any Mexicans there?

Today i saw a dwarf prisoner climbing down the wall

i thought to myself, that's a little condescending.

Mexicans were asked what they thought of Trump's border wall. They replied, "we're very upset...

...but we'll get over it."

Donald Trump promised a wall, but he keeps changing what this wall comprises.

He seems to be on the fence about it.

Two communist soldiers stood by the Berlin wall during The Cold War.

Soldier 1: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Soldier 2: Yes I am.

Soldier 1: Then I'll have to arrest you.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Wall Street playboy has seen it all

Using his wealth to fuel his expensive fetishes and sexual desires, he begins running out of new things to try. One night he’s looking through one of his normal smutty magazines, when he sees an ad that simply claims “something you’ve never tried before”.

Why not, he thinks to himself before...

If Game of Thrones teaches us anything it is that Mexico should build the wall.

Whingers are coming.

Breaking News: Government shutdown ends as Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall

On the condition that he gets to install windows.

Trumps wall is fool-proof...

Take china for example, they've had a wall for 2000 years and still no mexicans.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Someone should challenge Donald trump to finance the wall himself.

After all, a wall is really just a giant skyscraper on its side.

This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is...

a Mexican stand off.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Q: What do you call nuts on the wall?

A: Walnuts..

Q: What do you call nuts on your chest?

A: Chestnuts

Q: What do you call nuts on your chin?

A:... Chin nuts??

No. Cock in your mouth.

The Democrats agreed to sign over $6 Billion for the construction of the border wall, on one condition... that Trump stay on the other side.

Trump agreed.

​

...but Mexicans refused.

Idk why flies can walk on walls,

But when I do it I’m “possessed” and “need an excorsicm.”

Sick of people these days smh

How do the Mexicans feel about Trump building a wall on the boarder?

They’ll get over it

What do you call a skeleton trying to sell a wall?

Ann Coulter

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Trump is doing everything in his power to make Mexico pay for the wall

By acting so batshit crazy they want to build the wall themselves for protection

Trump’s wall is like his approval ratings

They’re both never going up

Today, Senate Republicans declared that they see no path forward to end the government shutdown

In other words: they've hit a wall

Even though we didn't get the glorious wall the president promised...

We did get a massive cave.

I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall.

He said, “ Eh. I’ll get over it.”

Trump legalizes marijuana to pay for the wall with the tax revenues.

This really stirred the pot.

A bat teaches his three children how to suck blood...

After teaching them, he orders them away to test their abilities

The first of the children return, filled with blood on his mouth, and says "Dad, do you see that cow?"

"Yes, I do son"

"So, I sucked it's blood", the first one replies

The second one comes later, with even m...

What did the wall say to the other wall?

See you around the corner!

What do you name an Irish baby that bounces when you throw it at a wall?

Rick O’Shea

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was in prison and my inmate was scratching the wall and crying against it.

I said, "Fucking hell, buddy. I came here to get AWAY from my wife."

What is Donald Trumps favourite song? Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd

Because he don't need no education....

Since Mexico won’t pay for the wall

Americans will have to Putin their own money

If Trump gets a coin every time he gets criticized

He would have built the wall using his own money.

I once told my wife a joke about a big wall

She never got over it

Found On A Bathroom Wall

Here I sit
taking a dump,
Giving birth
to another Trump

Donald Trump supporter, “Mr. President, when will you finally get the wall built?”

Donald Trump, “Believe me. I am Russian.”

I tried to make a Berlin Wall joke but

It got taken down

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Physicians were discussing who to build Trump’s Mexican Wall

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.  The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought Trump had a lot of nerve.  Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconce...

I asked my Latino friend if Mexicans are offended by all the talk of building a wall on the southern border...

He said, "Eh... we'll get over it"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Arizona bill proposes charging porn consumers $20 to fund Trump's border wall. [OC]

In other words: If you cum, they will build it.

(Resubmitting due to rule violation the first time)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife went out today, so I had my hands full watching our daughter. She's kind of a whirling dervish, running around, bouncing off the walls, when suddenly, she stopped to play with my computer, broke the R button and tried to eat it...

She craves anarchy...

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ...

After building the wall, Trump to build an electromagnetic barrier to prevent foreign bees from entering the U.S. by sending waves that interfere with their communication.

Trump is strictly against Global Swarming

What’s the difference between Trump and Humpty Dumpty?

Humpty Dumpty has a wall.

Why did the painter give the wall 2 coats?

Because it was winter

No need to prolong the government shutdown. We've already built a wall.

A paywall.

I was speaking to a group of the migrants from Central America. I asked them how they felt about a wall between Mexico and the United States.

They told me they would get over it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Trump likes his sex like he likes his walls.

Paid for.

A wall south of the border is now a necessity.

That country in the south has become more violent and unstable, to the point where people have been leaving it and coming to ours to start their life all over again.



I'm just glad to live far enough up north to avoid some of these issues!

-A Canadian, eh?

I don’t know why people won’t let trump build the wall.

Because there is a wall in China and there is no Mexicans there.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Hillary's emails would make the perfect construction material for building the great Trump Wall...

Since no one can get the fuck over them.

A blind guy walks into Wall Mart past the greeter.

He stops and picks up his dog.
He starts swinging him over his head in a big circle.
The greeter runs over and screams...can I help you??
No no I'm good... I'm just having a look around.

If congress approves funding for the wall ...

... Mexico will get a wall and the USA will pay for it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Jew with a boner walks into a wall, what happens?

He breaks his nose

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I tried to brighten my neighborhood by planting dildos all over the boundary wall.

My neighbour is totally furious , but his wife is still on the fence .

We need a wall right now. There is a crazed horde of savages at the southern border just waiting to stomp our country flat. They are murderers and rapists and terrorists! And some might be good people.

Canada really needs a wall right now.

An engineer, physicist, and mathematician have been imprisoned.

At some point, the warden realizes that the three men haven't been fed in a while. He accompanies an officer to check up on them. The warden and officer arrive at the first cell that contained the engineer. To their astonishment, the cell was empty and the wall had a hole in it.

"How is that ...

Guys, I just figured out how to walk thorough walls!

Doors

If you go over to their place after a great date and see the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall...

Well then that's a big red flag.

Why did Sauron start knocking down walls in his house?

Because he wanted more doors.

Say what you want about Trump’s wall

But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don’t see any Mexicans

Edit: Apparently this joke *whooshed* over a lot of people

Edit 2: ITT People who don’t realize it’s a joke about a wall and not the demographics of China

Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, a man saw a massive wall of clocks.

He asked St Peter “what is with all the clocks?”

St Peter responded, “These are the clocks of lies. Each person has a clock. Every time they lied on Earth the clock moves one tick.”

The man noticed a clock that wasn't moving. "Whose clock is that?" He asked.
St Peter said that wa...