UPJOKE
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Putins complaining about all the Land he has to try hard to annex

Oh Crimea river
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Vladimir Putin visits a primary school one day

And he gives a lecture about how great the government is, and how Russia is the best country in the world.
At the end of the lecture he invites people to ask questions and one kid stands up and says
“Hello my name is Sasha and I have two questions”
Putin: “go ahead”
Sasha: “Why did Russi...
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What did Putin say to NATO in response to being criticized for annexing parts of Ukraine?

'Oh, Crimea river.'
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Why did Putin cross the road?

To annex the chicken’s territory.
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Top UN officials asked Vladimir Putin to stop annexing countries

He responded: Oh go Crimea river
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If the Southern States of the US annexed the northern part of Mexico right now...

The average I.Q. of both countries would go up
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Putin, at the summit: Donald, I’m thinking of annexing all the nations around Russia. What do you think?

Trump: Then Soviet.
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Trump calls Putin on the phone

Trump says, "You need to stop annexing territory in Ukraine"

Putin responds, "Crimea river"
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two dogs are sitting in a bar talking politics

two dogs are sitting in a bar talking politics.

"i dunno Harry , im not sure i can support a president that does not support Israel , they have always been one of our strongest allies "

"Sure , Bob , But what about the Palestine people ?"

at this , a squirrel jumps up on the ba...
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Mr. Putin Goes to School

One day Vladimir Putin arrived at an elementary school, where he gave a lecture on all the reasons why Russia, under his leadership, is the best country in the world. After the lecture, he invited the children to ask him questions, and almost everyone raised their hand enthusiastically - after all, ...
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A Lobster Walks Into a Bar

He goes up to the bartender and says: "Look, before you can serve me, I need to advise you that I'm a lawyer."

"Blimey... A lobster lawyer? That is impressive," says the bartender.

The Lobster puts his briefcase up on the bar, deftly opens it with his claws, and produces a document tha...
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The year is 2135, and the US and Russia are the only 2 remaining nations.

After a century of warfare, the two nations expanded their borders, annexing an country that stood in it's way.

Both nations, hungering for world domination, have been at war with each other for over 20 years, and have decided that the fighting would never end, as the two were so closely matc...
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