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Storey Jokes

Crime in multi-storey car parks

Is wrong on so many levels

What is the difference between falling from 10 storey building and 1 storey house?

10 storey building: "AAAAAAAAAAA" *BAM*

House: *BAM* "AAAAAAAAAAAAA"

God notices heaven is getting a bit crowded

So he sits down with St Peter and says
“Look, too many people are getting in. As of tomorrow at 12pm, no one is getting in unless they’ve had a really bad day”

Peter nods, and the next day he sits down at the pearly gates when a man arrives

“Hi sir, welcome to heaven, hey new rules....

Why did the social awkward man never go to the second storey of his house ?

He couldn't handle the stairs.

What did the optimist say when he was pushed off a storey building?

so far so goo...

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old mate, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want after all you're the boss...

But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I do not want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big ...

Three managers worked in the same office at the top of an 80-storey office building.

One day, they were forced to take the stairs all the way up because the elevator wasn't working. One of them suggested telling one another stories in order to take their minds of their tiredness.

As they were walking up, the first manager told the story about how he met his wife.

At th...

A scientist drops a pig and a flashlight from a 20 storey building

He watches as both hit the ground at the same time.
With this he concluded pigs move at the speed of light.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful woman on the top floor of a 4 storey apartment building trips and falls over her balcony.

The neighbour living in the floor below happened to be outside when he heard her scream. He looked up and saw her coming down and as any good man would do, he caught her in his arms as she dangled over the edge.

"Save me, please!!" She cried.

The man began to pull her up but stopped w...

God: Noah, it’s time to build another boat.

Noah: Oh, so soon! But hey, you are the boss. So the same, animals, two by two?

God: Actually no. We forgot the fish last time so this time this will be just for the fish.

God (again): Also, build it with more than one deck.

Noah: Big boat, only fish and several levels. Got it b...

Floor 13 may be haunted, but floor 666...

...is a whole different storey.

I wanted to tell a joke about a friend who lives upstairs..

But that’s another storey.

I used to live in the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor

But that’s another storey.

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Russian mafioso visits Italian mafioso

They talk about their lifestyles and Italian asks "Hey, do you have newest model of Mercedes?" No, I don't." Admits Russian. "Well, how can you call yourself mafioso if you don't. Russian fumes but doesn't say anything. "And does your house have three storeys?" "No, it does not." "Well, how can you ...

The library in our town had thousands and thousands of books

But even then everyone referred to it as the two storey building.

God comes and talks to Noah while he is building the Ark...

He says :"Noah, Hear my will. I have decided what I wish to fill the first storey of the ark with"

"Of course my lord, what is it you wish?"

"I wish for you to fill it with carp!"

Noah is confused, he says "But my lord, carp can swi-

"**DON'T QUESTION MY WILL NOAH**"
<...

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Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party.

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 storeys high. Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan to make the climbing easier. In the first 200 storeys, Tom would crack jokes. For the next 200 storeys, Dick would t...

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A girls sees a good looking guy at the bar...

as it had been a hard day, she decided to chat him up and take him home with her. "What are you drinking handsome?" she asks, in her sexiest voice. "Magic Beer to make me fly" he replies nonchalantly.
Some what taken aback, but not to be put off, she says "Ha, if it's magic beer then prove it". ...

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Monkey business

In a secret lab, a bunch if scientists are working on modified human DNA. To find out if their experiments work, they infuse monkey cells with the modified DNA. After a few years of raising 3 modified monkeys they send each of them into a different apprenticeship for one year, to see if they are abl...

A student son is visiting his father and upon arrival is clearly upset about something.

His dad asks him what is the matter, and the son replies that he just had a horrible first date with this really pretty girl.

Dad asks what happened.

Son:

“Well she asked me if I go to college. I said no.

Then she asked me if I drive a Mercedes. I truthfully said no.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two drunks are talking in a bar...

The first one says "You know what's weird about city hall? When they built it they didn't take into account wind loads. We get so much wind here the top floor rocks back and forth 20 feet"

The second one says "yeah, but because of that wind you can jump off the roof of the building across the...

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A skinny white guy meets his cell-mate for the first time...

Who happens to be a seven and a half foot monster of a black man.
As soon as the guards lock the cell and leave the black man stands up and unzips his trousers. There's a dull thud as his massive cock hits the floor.

He swings it one way, smashing the sink off the wall. He swings it the ot...

Women Only

**The Women Only Hotel**

A group of women went on holiday, the see a five-storey hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only".

Since they are there without their boyfriends the go in. The Doorman, a very attractive man explains to them how it works .....
"We have Five floors .........

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So a guy is hiking in a forest and it's getting dark

He's too far from his car to make it back by nightfall and the woods are dangerous at night. Luckily, he comes upon a clearing with a quaint little cottage in the centre. A middle-aged Chinese man is sitting outside the cottage watching the sunset.
The hiker asks the wizened man if he could stay ...

A Muslim, Buddhist and Christian stands on a rooftop.

They all have great faith towards their respective God and agreed they jump from the rooftop of a 20-storey building and that they will be saved.

So the muslim, very firm in his belief, jumped first and started calling to Allah.
He chanted "AllahAllahAllahAllahAllah....." repeatedly with g...

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

Due to severe overpopulation, God now only allows people who have died terrible deaths to enter Heaven.

WAs God waits near a gate, he is approached a man, where God immediately asks him, "How did you die?".

The man replied, "Well you see, I have always suspected that my wife was cheating on me for at least a few years now. I came home one day to my apartment to see her lying naked in bed, and w...

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A German engineer, an Indian engineer, and a Chinese engineer die and go to Heaven

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter is there to greet them.

"As part of our skilled migration scheme, you will each have to propose a design for a planned 200 storey mixed-use development here in Heaven. The person with the most attractive proposal will be granted entry into Heaven. You have 4 day...

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