Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek–a-boo accident?

To the ICU.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boo fucking hoo...

Could also be gossip in Korea.

How does a ghost woman scare her victims?

With her boooooobies


Sorry, wanted to share this awful pun-joke. It's amazing!

EDIT: Thanks for voting this up to hot! Have a lovely and scary Halloween!
Take care everyone!

I got booed off of the stage at the start of my comedy act for saying that I still live with my parents...

That's the last time I do a gig at an orphanage.

Just been diagnosed with the dreaded ‘Peek-a-Boo virus’...



I’m being transferred to ICU.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a haunted pair of breasts?

BoOoOoOoOobs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call boobs that everyone is allowed to touch?

Communititties

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woke up, pissed, and went back to the bedroom to find my wife unresponsive in the bed. I couldn't find a pulse...

Looking at her lifeless there, I decided to have one last go. Five minutes in she opened her eyes and shouted BOO! Honestly, some people are fucking sick in the head.

I got booed off stage on open mic night because of my terrible Schwarzenegger impersonation but I'm not gonna let that get to me....

I'll return

Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident.

All involved were rushed to the ICU

Knock Knock

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting Ghost"

"Interrupting Ghost..."

"BOO!"

Give me your best kids knock-knock jokes!

My 4 year old is a budding comedian, and her new favourite is knock-knock jokes. She keeps asking me for new ones that she can tell to people, but I can't find many good ones that she will understand.

The current go-to's are:

Knock knock -- Who's there? -- Europe! -- Europe who? -- No,...

Knock-knock joke that is terrible

Knock Knock


Who's there?


Boo


Boo Who?


It's Just a Joke no need to cry

Why is it cheaper to throw a party in a haunted house?

Because the ghosts will bring the boos

I asked a musician why they all drink so much after their shows.

He said: Because we can't handle the boos.

What do you call ghost bees?

Boo Bees

What type of Bee gives milk?

Boo-bees

Why did the ghost go to the bar?

For the boos

A Chinese woman went on a blind date

A Chinese woman went on a blind date. Her date turned out to be a very handsome young man. They went to an expensive restaurant and had a great time together. The man even paid for everything.


When they were alone on their way back. The man suddenly revealed himself to be an angel in disg...

What do you call it when a ghost feels like it’s haunted the same house before?

De ja Boo!

My girlfriend is my Boo

but at the family reunion, she's "Taboo"

What's the first thing in organized ghost does in the morning?

Makes a to boo list

Where do you take someone that got hurt playing peek a boo?

To the I.C.U

Why did Casper oversleep on Halloween?

He had too much boos!

Where do you take somebody who has been injured in a Peek-A-Boo accident?

To the I C U

Where do people injured playing competitive peek-a-boo go when they're hurt?

The ICU

My wife walked in to the room, I snuck up behind her and yelled Boo!

She Shrieked, cried hysterically peed herself and ran outside.

I always do this to her but I guess it was funnier when I was alive.

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

Boo me all you like, I just made it up.

I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.

Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irr...

Why does Jack Skellington's pet dog have a bright, shiny nose?

Because he's a boo's hound.

What kind of vaccinations are required for ghosts?

"Boo"ster shots!

Why did the ghost go to beauty school?

It wanted to open up a boo-tique

I heard that alcoholism is a big problem in the ghost community…

They are all really into boos

The first female president

The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

I was booed off stage and locked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone too many times very poorly

They told me I had too many unsuccessful Loggins attempts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Three Stooges are spending the night in a haunted house... and get up to their usual eye-poking, nyuk-nyuking, slapstick shenanigans. In the middle of the pie fight, a poltergeist appears. Curly throws a cream pie and it turns around in midair and smacks him right in the face!

He turns to Moe and says, "Hey, I think that ghost must have been from Australia."
"Oh yeah, why?"
"Because it just threw a Boo-Meringue at me!"

Why didn’t they make two Yogi Bears?

Because they made a Boo-Boo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the bathroom and someone yelled "BOO"

Scared the crap out of me!
... Too bad I was at a urinal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the dyslexic comedian booed?

He punched up the fuck line.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boudreaux and Thibodeau go hunting one weekend

While out in the woods, they are able to track and kill a deer that morning. While Thibodeau is gutting the deer, Boudreaux feels nature’s call and tells Thibodeau he has to go pop a squat. So, Boudreaux finds a tree a little bit away and does his business. However, he falls asleep!

Thibodeau...

What do you call a Ghost without any Boo’s?

SOBER!

Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was

If cows say "moo" and ghosts say "boo", what does the ghost of a cow say?

Nothing. Cows don't have souls.

What does the ghost of a panda bear eat?

Bambooooo.

I had a job interview today, so I started with some sweeping, after which I displayed my twirling, then a little peek-a-boo, and I finished with a most vigorous flapping

I don't think they were impressed with my cape abilities.

What has four legs and says BOO?

A cow with a head cold.

I was watching an Australian cooking show this morning . The chef made meringue. The audience all cheered for him.

This surprised me. Australians usually boo-meringue.

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.









Edit: Swigity Swoo, I got a silver from you?

Edit: Golly Gee, a gold for me?

Edit: Boo hoo, a baby snoo too?

Edit: Cowabunga Grift, I got a coin gift!

Edit: Beagle pup, here comes a bless up!

Did you know that "boo" means "return" in Australia?

That's because when you throw a normal meringue, it doesn't come back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What sort of bees make milk?

BooBees

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:...

What kind of cars do ghosts drive?

Boo-gattis.

Mr. Johnson walked into a movie theater and sat down next to a dog who was at the theater with his owner.

Much to Mr. Johnson's astonishment, the dog laughed at the funny parts, cried at the sad parts, booed at the villain's wicked deeds, and cheered at the hero's heroics.

When they left the theater, Mr. Johnson told the dog owner, "Your dog's reactions to that movie were amazing!"

"I thou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a cocky ghost?

Boo-Cocky

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bee landed on a girl's chest at the sex addiction therapy course.

Apparently screaming Boo Bee at her chest was wrong...

Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands

what is the difference between a sad ghost and an angry cow?

one boos sadly the other moos madly

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Les gooooo

What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?
A man will actually press and pull a microwave’s buttons and knobs.

What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis?
A man.

What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-bees.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Asshole!
Ass...

How does Mario communicate with Boos?

He uses a Luigi board.

What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?

Boo tea.

(Courtesy of my 6 year old)

Did you hear about the epileptic who played peek-a-boo?

Now he seizure

Now he don't

You can really scare someone when you yell “Peek-a-boo!”.

Especially when they’re trying on clothes in the fitting room.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which religion celebrates Ass Wednesday?

Bootyism

Why did the male ghost get scared after the female ghost said "boo"?

The male ghost wasn't ready for a committed relationship.

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