Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek–a-boo accident?

To the ICU.

Just been diagnosed with the dreaded ‘Peek-a-Boo virus’...



I’m being transferred to ICU.

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What do you call a haunted pair of breasts?

BoOoOoOoOobs

I got booed off of the stage at the start of my comedy act for saying that I still live with my parents...

That's the last time I do a gig at an orphanage.

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What do you call boobs that everyone is allowed to touch?

Communititties

I got booed off stage on open mic night because of my terrible Schwarzenegger impersonation but I'm not gonna let that get to me....

I'll return

Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident.

All involved were rushed to the ICU

I heard that alcoholism is a big problem in the ghost community…

They are all really into boos

My girlfriend is my Boo

but at the family reunion, she's "Taboo"

Where do you take somebody who has been injured in a Peek-A-Boo accident?

To the I C U

Where do you take someone that got hurt playing peek a boo?

To the I.C.U

Where do people injured playing competitive peek-a-boo go when they're hurt?

The ICU

My wife walked in to the room, I snuck up behind her and yelled Boo!

She Shrieked, cried hysterically peed herself and ran outside.

I always do this to her but I guess it was funnier when I was alive.

Boo me all you like, I just made it up.

I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.

Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irr...

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The Three Stooges are spending the night in a haunted house... and get up to their usual eye-poking, nyuk-nyuking, slapstick shenanigans. In the middle of the pie fight, a poltergeist appears. Curly throws a cream pie and it turns around in midair and smacks him right in the face!

He turns to Moe and says, "Hey, I think that ghost must have been from Australia."
"Oh yeah, why?"
"Because it just threw a Boo-Meringue at me!"

Why didn’t they make two Yogi Bears?

Because they made a Boo-Boo

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

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Boudreaux and Thibodeau go hunting one weekend

While out in the woods, they are able to track and kill a deer that morning. While Thibodeau is gutting the deer, Boudreaux feels nature’s call and tells Thibodeau he has to go pop a squat. So, Boudreaux finds a tree a little bit away and does his business. However, he falls asleep!

Thibodeau...

The first female president

The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive,...

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

My older sister came back from her first year of college and was talking about her favorite sorority initiation called Boo-Khaki

I didn’t know it was required of sororities to hate on khakis, like whats the big deal?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a cocky ghost?

Boo-Cocky

What does the ghost of a panda bear eat?

Bambooooo.

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A bee landed on a girl's chest at the sex addiction therapy course.

Apparently screaming Boo Bee at her chest was wrong...

Mr. Johnson walked into a movie theater and sat down next to a dog who was at the theater with his owner.

Much to Mr. Johnson's astonishment, the dog laughed at the funny parts, cried at the sad parts, booed at the villain's wicked deeds, and cheered at the hero's heroics.

When they left the theater, Mr. Johnson told the dog owner, "Your dog's reactions to that movie were amazing!"

"I thou...

What kind of cars do ghosts drive?

Boo-gattis.

I was booed off stage and locked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone too many times very poorly

They told me I had too many unsuccessful Loggins attempts

I was watching an Australian cooking show this morning . The chef made meringue. The audience all cheered for him.

This surprised me. Australians usually boo-meringue.

what is the difference between a sad ghost and an angry cow?

one boos sadly the other moos madly

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the bathroom and someone yelled "BOO"

Scared the crap out of me!
... Too bad I was at a urinal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the dyslexic comedian booed?

He punched up the fuck line.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What sort of bees make milk?

BooBees

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Les gooooo

What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?
A man will actually press and pull a microwave’s buttons and knobs.

What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis?
A man.

What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-bees.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Asshole!
Ass...

What do you call a Ghost without any Boo’s?

SOBER!

Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was

How do you scare a Scotsman?

With Irn-Boo

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.









Edit: Swigity Swoo, I got a silver from you?

Edit: Golly Gee, a gold for me?

Edit: Boo hoo, a baby snoo too?

Edit: Cowabunga Grift, I got a coin gift!

Edit: Beagle pup, here comes a bless up!

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:...

If cows say "moo" and ghosts say "boo", what does the ghost of a cow say?

Nothing. Cows don't have souls.

I had a job interview today, so I started with some sweeping, after which I displayed my twirling, then a little peek-a-boo, and I finished with a most vigorous flapping

I don't think they were impressed with my cape abilities.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which religion celebrates Ass Wednesday?

Bootyism

What has four legs and says BOO?

A cow with a head cold.

Did you know that "boo" means "return" in Australia?

That's because when you throw a normal meringue, it doesn't come back.

How To Scare Someone Who's Afraid Of The Unknown

>!Boo!<

Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands

What does an Australian ghost eat for dessert?

Boo meringue

What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?

Boo tea.

(Courtesy of my 6 year old)

How does Mario communicate with Boos?

He uses a Luigi board.

Did you hear about the epileptic who played peek-a-boo?

Now he seizure

Now he don't

You can really scare someone when you yell “Peek-a-boo!”.

Especially when they’re trying on clothes in the fitting room.

What do you call a sad magician?

Boo Hoo Dini

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

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Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

Why did the male ghost get scared after the female ghost said "boo"?

The male ghost wasn't ready for a committed relationship.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s a ghosts favorite type of porn?

Boo-kakke

What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?

What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?

Boo-berry pie!

I've never been booed off stage.

I've never been booed off stage! Sure, I've been booed on stage plenty of times... but never off stage.

In honor of Mitch Hedberg. RIP.

I was watching Australian Master Chef last night...

Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered...

I thought... That's odd, normaly in Australia they boo meringue

A football player asked his wife if she ever cheated on him

This is translated from Arabic, I don’t know if it’s going to be funny as in Arabic but I’ll try my best *fingers crossed*

A football player once asked his wife if she ever cheated on him, she answered with “yes, three times.” He then asked “Ok, tell me about the first time.” She said, “Do y...

Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?

Because they bring Boos everywhere they go!

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