Just been diagnosed with the dreaded ‘Peek-a-Boo virus’...



I’m being transferred to ICU.

Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident.

All involved were rushed to the ICU

My girlfriend is my Boo

but at the family reunion, she's "Taboo"

Where do you take someone who has been injured in a Peak-A-Boo accident?

To the I-C-U

I got booed off stage on open mic night because of my terrible Schwarzenegger impersonation but I'm not gonna let that get to me....

I'll return

Where do you take somebody who has been injured in a Peek-A-Boo accident?

To the I C U

Where do people injured playing competitive peek-a-boo go when they're hurt?

The ICU

My wife walked in to the room, I snuck up behind her and yelled Boo!

She Shrieked, cried hysterically peed herself and ran outside.

I always do this to her but I guess it was funnier when I was alive.

I was watching an Australian cooking show this morning . The chef made meringue. The audience all cheered for him.

This surprised me. Australians usually boo-meringue.

Where do you take someone that got hurt playing peek a boo?

To the I.C.U

Boo me all you like, I just made it up.

I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.

Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What do you call a haunted pair of breasts?

BoOoOoOoOobs

I got booed off stage for saying I still live with my mum...

Never doing a charity gig for an orphanage again...

If I you ever become a ghost and want to start an airline company, what should you call it?

Booing Incorporealated.

The first female president

The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive,...

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Which religion celebrates Ass Wednesday?

Bootyism

Why did the crowd boo at the comedian when he lost at boxing?

He didn't use his punchline.

I've just released a new book about Poltergeists...

It's flying off the shelves.

How To Scare Someone Who's Afraid Of The Unknown

>!Boo!<

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

What do you call a sad magician?

Boo Hoo Dini

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

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A rock band was booed by the crowd.

The drum player and the bass player drink in a bar, depressed as fuck, trying to figure out what went wrong.
'It's probably the stage sound', the bass player suggests. 'That engineer can't mix shit in a bowl, let alone sound.'
'Come on, we've had worse. At least the monitors were working.'...

My older sister came back from her first year of college and was talking about her favorite sorority initiation called Boo-Khaki

I didn’t know it was required of sororities to hate on khakis, like whats the big deal?

What's a ghosts favourite present?

A Boo-quet

Do you know why there was only 1 yogi bear?

Because somebody made a boo boo!!!

Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?

Because they bring Boos everywhere they go!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a ghost who thinks he can singlehandedly unload fear upon the face of the Earth?

Boo cocky

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the dyslexic comedian booed?

He punched up the fuck line.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the bathroom and someone yelled "BOO"

Scared the crap out of me!
... Too bad I was at a urinal

I was booed off stage and locked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone too many times very poorly

They told me I had too many unsuccessful Loggins attempts

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:...

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What did the horny English speaking ghost say to the hive?

Boo bees!

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.









Edit: Swigity Swoo, I got a silver from you?

Edit: Golly Gee, a gold for me?

Edit: Boo hoo, a baby snoo too?

Edit: Cowabunga Grift, I got a coin gift!

Edit: Beagle pup, here comes a bless up!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s a ghosts favorite type of porn?

Boo-kakke

What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?

What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?

Boo-berry pie!

Why was the ghost kicked out of the bar?

Because he had one too many boos!

How do you insult a bee

call it a boo-bee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you trap a bee?

With a booBee trap

For my birthday I bought a pair of ghost bumblee earrings.

This way my face can always be between a pair of boo-bees.

What do you call a Ghost without any Boo’s?

SOBER!

Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was

What's a female ghost's most attractive feature?

Her BOO-bies!




>!Oh come on, it's funny...!<

Why did the ghost go into the bar?

For the boos!!!!

Happy Halloween redditors!!!

The Olympics of who has more children.

A battle between an American, a Brit, and a Filipino.

It's a competition of who has the most number of children the story of how the Filipino beat the American and a Brit.


It's the Olympics and a lot of audience gathered in a dome, a massive 80,000-seater oval dome. All seats are...

What has four legs and says BOO?

A cow with a head cold.

I had a job interview today, so I started with some sweeping, after which I displayed my twirling, then a little peek-a-boo, and I finished with a most vigorous flapping

I don't think they were impressed with my cape abilities.

I was watching Australian Master Chef last night...

Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered...

I thought... That's odd, normaly in Australia they boo meringue

Did you know that "boo" means "return" in Australia?

That's because when you throw a normal meringue, it doesn't come back.

A football player asked his wife if she ever cheated on him

This is translated from Arabic, I don’t know if it’s going to be funny as in Arabic but I’ll try my best *fingers crossed*

A football player once asked his wife if she ever cheated on him, she answered with “yes, three times.” He then asked “Ok, tell me about the first time.” She said, “Do y...

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Three men went on a swimming competition. An American, a Japanese and a Filipino.

The rule was simple, swim through the lake full of alligators, reach the other side alive and win unlimited cash.

Confident, Phelps went first. But in the middle of his dive, a gator appeared in front of him and swallowed him whole.

The crowd was shocked, yet they all booed.

Eag...

A teacher on test day,

Knock knock

Class: Who's there?

Teacher: Boo

Class: Boo Who?

Teacher: No use crying now! You shoulda studied! (Holding up the test papers...)

If cows say "moo" and ghosts say "boo", what does the ghost of a cow say?

Nothing. Cows don't have souls.

They finally got rid of the ghost that was haunting my local pub.

I guess he overdid it with the boos

Why did the ghost's girlfriend break up with him?

She found out about his side boos!

What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?

Boo tea.

(Courtesy of my 6 year old)

There was a Russian man who was a collector of supernatural oddities.

An American man heard about him, and decided to try his luck at making a quick buck. He arranged a meeting, and presented a thin gauzy cloth to the man.

"This may look like cloth, but it is actually 100%, genuine ghost skin."

The Russian man leaned in, carefully examining the cloth, an...

What kind of plant do ghosts like to hide behind?

BamBOO!

Why are pandas always scared?

Because of the bamBOO.

Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands

Who let the ghosts out?!

Boo, boo-boo-boo.

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

&nbsp;

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

How does Mario communicate with Boos?

He uses a Luigi board.

Tried to tell a joke to the ghost that haunts my house but I don't think he liked it...

...he just looked at me and boo'd.

Did you hear about the epileptic who played peek-a-boo?

Now he seizure

Now he don't

The one about the mental patients and the baseball game

There once was a doctor at a mental hospital, who had to take care of the craziest and most mentally unstable patients in the hospital, which they called the "nuts." The doctor, along with his assistant, would soon get through a breakthrough by giving them simple orders and addressing them as "nuts....

It is WWI. The Germans and the Italians are fighting in trenches.

The Germans have a plan. Since almost all Italians are named Mario, a German would yell, "Hey, Mario!" An unfortunate Mario would pop his head up with "si?" and a German sniper would put a bullet into his forehead. Every day, a few Italians died with "Hey Mario!" "Si?" Boom!

One day, the Ital...

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An annual weaponry competition is being held.

There is one representative each from every country. Each representative wields the main weapon of sorts from their culture. A fly is released within the range if the representative and they must cut it. The nore precise or beautiful the cut, the more points.

The next competitor goes up, repr...

You can really scare someone when you yell “Peek-a-boo!”.

Especially when they’re trying on clothes in the fitting room.

What is an Australian ghost's favorite pie?

Boo meringue

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