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Cheep Jokes

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What's yellow and goes "cheep cheep"?

A Chinese prostitute

A bird tried to sell me some leaves

It said: ‘Come on, they’re very cheep cheep!’

What's the best way to get in touch with your inner self

Cheep toilet paper

What did the bird say when it flew over the 2 THRIFTY people?

CHEEP CHEEP!!!

A serial killer is chasing 3 young women through a farm

The three young women are a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The three women run into a barn and find three barrels to hide in. The brunette jumps into a barrel labeled "chicks". The redhead into a barrel labeled "kittens", and the blonde into one labeled "potatoes".

The serial killer foll...

For Sale: Dead Bird

Won't go cheep

What did the bird say to the price tag?

Cheep!

(As told to me this morning by my 7 year old son. He was quite proud of the joke.)

Why is a baby chicken less expensive than an adult one?

Because it's a little cheeper.

When it comes to baby chickens...

...talk is *cheep*

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They pull into a forest and each climb up a separate tree. The cop parks and walks up to the tree with the brunette.

"I know you're up there, get down from there."

Cheep cheep cheep cheep....

He hears the chirping a...

Three prisoners of war have escaped and are running through a forest...

The smart one says, "They're catching up to us! Let's climb up a tree and make animal sounds so they don't hear us breathing."

As the first enemy soldiers pass underneath, the smart one says, "Cheep cheep."

As the next wave of potential captors goes by, the average intelligence POW hoo...

What do you call a bird who's always spying on people?

A cheeping Tom.

What do you call a baby chick from the dollar store?

A cheap cheep-cheep

When is the best time to buy a chicken?

When they're going "Cheep!"

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My budgie flew out of it's cage a few months ago and started fucking the dog...

... I got some puppies going cheep if anyones interested?

What do you call a date with a chick that’s younger than you?

A cheep date.

A frog walks into a bank

A frog walks into a bank looking to get a loan, and goes up to the teller and sees her little name tag, wich reads "Patricia wack" then the frog says "my name's Kermit jagger, son of mick jagger, and I'm looking for a loan of $30,000"

And the teller says "Wow, that's a lot, do you have anyth...

I’m a butcher and I sell dead chickens at work

They aren’t going cheep

Never haggle with a baby chic

All their offers are cheep

What's the best part about living in Flint, Michigan?

Leaded gasoline is pretty cheep!

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Jokeception

A chicken is crossing the road late at night just outside a closing bar when he sees a rabbi, an atheist and a priest walk up to the bar. The bartender is just closing up when he sees the group approach his door. The rabbi goes first and knocks on the door.
Rabbi: "Knock Knock"
Bartender: "Who...

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Have you heard about the old man's gambling problem?

An old man had a gambling problem not a bad one but a really good one. He was depositing thousands each day.

A few months pass and seeing as the old man had no job was contacted by the IRS to discuss his income.

The old man arrives with his lawyer to speak with the IRS agent. The agen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some tidbits for your pleasure

I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight....
It's probably not a good night to go to jail.

Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked...

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