A fart is just a booty call.

Especially if it's got that classy trumpet tone.

What do ye call a pirate with a big booty?

Thicc, with seven seas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the pirate whose only booty was dildos and potatoes?

They say he ran a dictatorship.

What's the difference between a cellist and a booty call?

One's Yo Yo Ma, the other is yo mama.

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A man recently separated with his wife is at the local bar drowning his sorrows when a gorgeous young woman walks in.

She makes her way over to the bar.

"What'll it be, miss?" The bartender asks.
"Tequila." Says the woman.

As the bartender pours her drink she notices the guy sitting at the other end of the bar. 'Handsome' she thinks to herself as she turns to the bartender laying out t...

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Quarantine booty call:

\- Come over.

\- Can't, I'm in self isolation

\- But my parents aren't home...

\- WHY THE FUCK NOT?

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A pirate can name a bay "Booty Bay" and nobody bats an eye...

But when I name an alley "Anal Alley", suddenly I'm a creep.

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Years ago, we ate the "Booty like Groceries"...

Now, we "Wear that Ass like a Covid Mask" .

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Having COVID wrecks my taste. When I eat that booty like groceries...

I can’t taste shit!

I’ll see my way out.

Were you attacked by pirates?

You seem to have lost your booty and chest.

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NSFW When it comes to anal sex, my wife is like a pirate

She doesn't like to give up the booty.

My ex wife is a pirates worst nightmare !

A sunken chest with no booty .........

Why did 8 get more booty than 9?

Because there’s assinine but assassinate

NSFW While I was sitting in the bar one night drinking alone

A stunner of a woman walked up to the bar sat down right next to me. A booty to die for and rack that hadn’t fallen yet, I couldn’t help taking a glance at her. She smiled back at me, and not in an unkindly way.

I asked if I could buy her the next drink. She accepted. We started talking. She ...

Booty pics and golf are surprisingly similar, in that

A hole in one is both rare and satisfying.

Why do pirates love reddit?

It be the best place to exchange stolen content for gold.

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

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What do you call a "booty call" when the girl makes the call?

A cock ring.

My girlfriend asked me to 'eat the booty like groceries'

But I'm on a glute-free diet

Why are ducks the best late night booty call?

Because they are always down

Girl, your booty is like dough...

I knead it.

That receptionist with the lisp and big booty wasn't at work today

She must have called in thicc

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Why are pirates all sexually frustrated?

Because they’re looking for booty but all they ever find is big chests.

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Three men go to hell

Three men go to hell and the Devil offers them all a second chance on earth as long as they can out smart him. The first man steps up and says "I'm gonna melt this block of cheese and I bet you can't put it back together." The man melts the cheese and the Devil puts his hands over it, turning it bac...

That booty’s on Fire

I guess you could say its arson

A pirate's life

Why is it a bad idea to date a pirate? Because they're only after your booty.

Back in the day, you'd have to take a girl's panties off to see the booty...

Nowadays, you have to lift the booty to see her panties.

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What do you call a Hungarian bug in your buttcrack?

A Booty-pest.

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....

So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

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This is the thing I don't understand about eating booty

They say you shouldn't shit where you eat, but apparently it's okay to eat where you shit.

Simple way to explain a bidet

Water go shooty shooty at your booty booty

Why do pirates like booty?

Because they like em thicc with 7 C's

Booty

Woman goes to a plastic surgeon and says I want a J-Lo booty, after many hours of surgery she takes the bandages off and looks in the mirror only to see a jiggly, green booty............

Why can’t a pirate go to a orgy?

Because he wants all the booty for himself

Did you hear about the big booty serial killer woman who bought too many drinks at the bar for her victim?

She had the drunk in the trunk!

Why did the pirate have a map to his ex wife's house

For booty calls

What is a necrophiliac pirate's favorite hobby?

Diggin' for booty.

Since We're Doing Pirate Jokes. What Does Every Pirate Hate?

A small chest with no booty.

Fortunately my cat Whiskers did not win the feline booty contest...

We avoided a cat-ass-trophy

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Pirate pick-up lines

“I must be huntin’ treasure, ’cause I’m diggin’ yer chest.”

“Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.”

“See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.”

“Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin’?”

“Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and p...

What does a pirate and a necrophiliac have in common?

They both want to get their hands on a dead person’s booty

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Butt dialing and booty calling

So similar. So different

How does a pirate protect his booty?

By arrming his alarrrm system!

I came to University thinking I'd get some of dat hot booty

But the only time I got some was when my fingers went through that cheap campus toilet paper.

An elderly mother and her young daughter was walking in front of a temple when the monk happened to spot them.

The daughter was wearing booty shorts and a tank top at the time. The monk called from the distance and came towards them.
"Child, that's not an outfit for a young girl", said the monk. "Here take this 100$ and buy yourself some nice clothes", he said while giving the daughter a 100$ note.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Jessie say to woody after doing anal for the first time?

“There’s a snake in my booty!”

Sorry, bad joke but I thought if it last night and kinda half chuckled

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What are the two most popular types of tea ?

Booty and Titty .

What do you call making your booty clap for likes and upvotes?

Social netwerking

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English Teacher

A young woman applies for a job at a school. The principal looks at her pretty and innocent face and tells her “I’m sorry Our only opening is for an English teacher for a special class. The students in this class are rejects from all over the city and can’t spell even the simplest of words. No other...

Mr Bean and Einstein in a flight together.

Einstein: Hey Mr Bean, let's play a game. I would ask you a question. If you can't answer it, you will have to give me ten dollars. You ask me a question and if I can't answer it I would give you a thousand dollars.

Bean: Okay, we can play that.

Einstein: What's the percentage of Nitro...

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When you're bisexual, you think all booty is sexy...

But I'm pretty sure it just means you're bi-assed.

A late night booty call woke me from a deep sleep...

that damn cricket better have got some!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I touched my girlfriends ass and she farted.





It was a booty trap.

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A man is ship wrecked on an island with a dog and a goat...

Several months go by and he’s horny as ever and decides he needs some action from someone or something. So the goats not looking half bad. But whenever he tries to make a move on the goat, the dog gets jealous and snaps and growls at him until he backs off.

So some time goes by and eventually...

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What did the pirate captain say when he caught his first mate hiding a rooster in his treasure chest?

**Get yer cock out of me booty!**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is having a walk in a park and sees a woman from behind.

The woman has a miraculous booty.

So the man decides to follow the woman just so he can look more on her fine ass.

After 20 min the woman notices the man and turns around.

"Why are you following me", she asks the man.

The man looks at her and replies: "Now...

A group of pirates walked out of a strip club with disappointed looks on their faces.

They were hoping to find some booty, but all they got were sunken chests.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] We all know that a butt dial...

...ought to be synonymous with a booty call. But when a man calls a woman, does that make it a cock ring?

My mom wont let me go see the new pirate movie...

Because its rated NC-17 for all of the booty it shows the pirates fighting over.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girlfriend: "Why do you have a photo of this hairy, tattooed, scarred butt on your computer?" [nsfw]

Me: "You found it... You found the Pirate's Booty."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My butt fell asleep while I was browsing Disney+ on the toilet.

I ended up watching sleeping booty.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PIRATE THAT KISSED THE PIRATE WOMANS TREASURE CHEST?

His tongue got stuck in her booty!

Why did the Vatican declare pirates were outlaws?

Because the cabin boy wouldn’t share his booty!

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There has always been a fuss about preferring boobs or ass, but what do pirates prefer?

The booty, of course!

What is a pirates favourite letter

It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can't stand a sunken chest and no booty.

(New original take on old joke)

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