Booty Jokes - 62 Hilarious Booty Jokes

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally....

So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

Why do pirates love reddit?

It be the best place to exchange stolen content for gold.

My girlfriend asked me to 'eat the booty like groceries'

But I'm on a glute-free diet

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

What's the difference between a cellist and a booty call?

One's Yo Yo Ma, the other is yo mama.

Girl, your booty is like dough...

I knead it.

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Famed pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read would board ships with their tits out to distract and intimidate enemy sailors.

It had no effect on their own crew because pirates only care about booty.

Since We're Doing Pirate Jokes. What Does Every Pirate Hate?

A small chest with no booty.

Booty

Woman goes to a plastic surgeon and says I want a J-Lo booty, after many hours of surgery she takes the bandages off and looks in the mirror only to see a jiggly, green booty............

Why do pirates like booty?

Because they like em thicc with 7 C's

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Did you hear about the pirate whose only booty was dildos and potatoes?

They say he ran a dictatorship.

Why are ducks the best late night booty call?

Because they are always down

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Why are pirates all sexually frustrated?

Because they’re looking for booty but all they ever find is big chests.

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Years ago, we ate the "Booty like Groceries"...

Now, we "Wear that Ass like a Covid Mask" .

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Are pirates ass men or tit men

Ass men. It’s all about the quality of the booty, not the size of the chest.

Came up with this a few months ago and keep forgetting to post it.

A fart is just a booty call.

Especially if it's got that classy trumpet tone.

Booty pics and golf are surprisingly similar, in that

A hole in one is both rare and satisfying.

Back in the day, you'd have to take a girl's panties off to see the booty...

Nowadays, you have to lift the booty to see her panties.

That receptionist with the lisp and big booty wasn't at work today

She must have called in thicc

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This is the thing I don't understand about eating booty

They say you shouldn't shit where you eat, but apparently it's okay to eat where you shit.

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What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?

A sunken chest with no booty!

Why did 8 get more booty than 9?

Because there’s assinine but assassinate

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What do you call a "booty call" when the girl makes the call?

A cock ring.

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Butt dialing and booty calling

So similar. So different

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A pirate can name a bay "Booty Bay" and nobody bats an eye...

But when I name an alley "Anal Alley", suddenly I'm a creep.

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English Teacher

A young woman applies for a job at a school. The principal looks at her pretty and innocent face and tells her “I’m sorry Our only opening is for an English teacher for a special class. The students in this class are rejects from all over the city and can’t spell even the simplest of words. No other...

That booty’s on Fire

I guess you could say its arson

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Why are porch pirates gay?

They love mail booty

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Having COVID wrecks my taste. When I eat that booty like groceries...

I can’t taste shit!

I’ll see my way out.

What do you call making your booty clap for likes and upvotes?

Social netwerking

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I'm gonna open a store dedicated to making pants for people with large butts

I'll call it "Big Booty Britches"

Simple way to explain a bidet

Water go shooty shooty at your booty booty

How does a pirate protect his booty?

By arrming his alarrrm system!

Fortunately my cat Whiskers did not win the feline booty contest...

We avoided a cat-ass-trophy

A late night booty call woke me from a deep sleep...

that damn cricket better have got some!

Somali Pirates Can't Find Hidden Treasure Buried in 2007

A bunch of Somali pirates lost their hidden treasure. They last saw their hidden treasure in 2007. They tried everything, bloodhounds, radar, metal detectors, sonar. But they couldn't find their treasure.

One day, one of the pirates had a suggestion.

"Captain, we should break R ...

Did you hear about the big booty serial killer woman who bought too many drinks at the bar for her victim?

She had the drunk in the trunk!

Why can’t a pirate go to a orgy?

Because he wants all the booty for himself

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A man is ship wrecked on an island with a dog and a goat...

Several months go by and he’s horny as ever and decides he needs some action from someone or something. So the goats not looking half bad. But whenever he tries to make a move on the goat, the dog gets jealous and snaps and growls at him until he backs off.

So some time goes by and eventually...

Why did the pirate have a map to his ex wife's house

For booty calls

I came to University thinking I'd get some of dat hot booty

But the only time I got some was when my fingers went through that cheap campus toilet paper.

What is a necrophiliac pirate's favorite hobby?

Diggin' for booty.

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NSFW When it comes to anal sex, my wife is like a pirate

She doesn't like to give up the booty.

A pirate's life

Why is it a bad idea to date a pirate? Because they're only after your booty.

What does a pirate and a necrophiliac have in common?

They both want to get their hands on a dead person’s booty

What's the difference between pirates in the 17th century and pirates in the 21st century?

The pirates back then got booty

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What do you call a Hungarian bug in your buttcrack?

A Booty-pest.

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What are the two most popular types of tea ?

Booty and Titty .

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What did Jessie say to woody after doing anal for the first time?

“There’s a snake in my booty!”

Sorry, bad joke but I thought if it last night and kinda half chuckled

A group of pirates walked out of a strip club with disappointed looks on their faces.

They were hoping to find some booty, but all they got were sunken chests.

My mom wont let me go see the new pirate movie...

Because its rated NC-17 for all of the booty it shows the pirates fighting over.

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This Hungarian guy won’t stop asking me for nudes.

What a booty pest.

I was surprised when a bunch of pirates decided to raid the eyeball of a woman called Phoebe Holder.

But I've realised that booty is in the eye of Phoebe Holder.

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I touched my girlfriends ass and she farted.

It was a booty trap.

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There has always been a fuss about preferring boobs or ass, but what do pirates prefer?

The booty, of course!

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A man is having a walk in a park and sees a woman from behind.

The woman has a miraculous booty.

So the man decides to follow the woman just so he can look more on her fine ass.

After 20 min the woman notices the man and turns around.

"Why are you following me", she asks the man.

The man looks at her and replies: "Now...

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Girlfriend: "Why do you have a photo of this hairy, tattooed, scarred butt on your computer?" [nsfw]

Me: "You found it... You found the Pirate's Booty."

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PIRATE THAT KISSED THE PIRATE WOMANS TREASURE CHEST?

His tongue got stuck in her booty!

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My butt fell asleep while I was browsing Disney+ on the toilet.

I ended up watching sleeping booty.

What's a necrophilic pirate's favorite activity?

Digging for booty.

What is a pirates favourite letter

It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can't stand a sunken chest and no booty.

(New original take on old joke)

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So I have a thing of finding funny alternative names to movie titles.. Of which are:

Womb Raider

Frying Nemo

Howl's Moaning Castle

Thosebastards

Glad I ate her

The Rare Bi*ch Project

Se8en

Nail Cesar

Sure Lock Homes

A Booty full Mind

Rub a cop

Hairy Potter and the Sorcerer's stoned

Any additions are ...

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