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Foo Jokes

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You already know the legend of the Foo Bird...

...named after its purportedly plaintive cries of "Foo! Foo!" but renowned for its feces, which is said to become a deadly toxin on the skin upon exposure to air, giving us to the common piece of wisdom, "If the Foo shits, wear it."

However you may not know about the brave explorers who set o...

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?


WAAAATAAAA!!!!

(Gotta say it is loud kung foo fighting noise). It’s a winner every time.

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The Foo Bird

There is a very unique species of bird in Africa known as the Foo bird. In most African tribes the Foo bird is widely believed to be holy. Even the droppings of the Foo bird are regarded as sacred. If defecated on, it is forbidden to wipe the Foo bird droppings off. As the old saying goes, if the Fo...

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Inspector Lee’s Technique

Inspector Lee was the finest detective in the city. Whenever the police were baffled, they called in Lee and his Foo dog to find out the identity of the criminal.

One day, the police were again baffled by a bank robber who had slipped into a crowd of people. They called in Lee and asked him ...

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The Foo Bird

A group of explorers traveled to South America in order to find El Dorado and other places of great fortune. On the first day, they met up with the locals in the town they were staying in. There the locals warned them of the dangers of the jungle, specifically the Foo bird.

During their firs...

What is the one thing Foo Fighters need when buying a home?

The best, the best, the best of views

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The Foo Bird

Bob is out on the links enjoying a nice round of golf with his buddy Bill. Suddenly, on the fourth fairway, a huge bird flies overhead and drops a turd on Bob's head.

"Whatever you do, Bob," says Bill, "don't wipe that turd off your head! EVER!"

"Why not?" asks Bob. "I've got a huge bi...

A baby chick tells it's mom, "Mom I think I'm a penguin.."

"There's no way you're a penguin, you're without a doubt a baby chicken" she responds.

He insisted, "No mom, I really think I'm a penguin and I don't want to live in this farm anymore, I wanna live with my fellow penguins!"

She said "alright fine, you have an aunt that lives in Antarct...

To the person who found a pot of marmalade at a Foo Fighters concert last year

That's my jam

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Oldie but goodie.

There once was a small town, plagued with Foo birds. These were small but loathsome things. Harbingers of death, these birds were. Wherever they poo’d there would be death. The townsfolk were afraid to walk under trees and power lines, in case they became a Foo bird’s next victim.

Well one d...

Proper English

An Englishman is out walking in the Highlands and gets thirsty, so he stops at a river to get some water. He's about to bring the water up to his mouth with his hand when he gets interrupted by a shepherd nearby.

"Dinnae drink oot the river, it's foo o' sheep pish!"

The Englishman look...

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Knock Knock

“Who’s There?”

“Kung.”

“Kung who?”

“It’s Kung Foo, you dumbass.”

Mr. T was asked for his comments before his celebrity boxing match with Dave Grohl, he responded with

"I pity the Foo"

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Your life pursuit

Long ago in a distant land an explorer and his large team of bearers, trackers, hunters, cooks, handymen, translators and so on came upon a village of people never before known to the outside world.

Luckily the translators were able to communicate with the people and soon the explorer was tal...

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A plane crashes in a jungle

and three guys are the only survivors. They have to walk out of the jungle to civilization. While they are walking they hear "Foo Foo" and a big blob of shit lands on one guy's head. He is disgusted and brushes it off. He immediately falls over dead. The other two guys are freaked out, but they hav...

What’s the name of Mr. T’s girlfriend?

April, fools

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I recently sailed around the world on one of those “once in a lifetime” cruises.

The cruise was scheduled to take 6 months, visit all 7 continents, and make port calls in over 30 different cities. I was very excited and could not wait.

The cruise began with several uneventful stops along the gulf off Mexico and down the Eastern side of South America. As we neared the sout...

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An explorer goes on an excursion into the Amazon rainforest...

(long but I don't believe I have seen this yet)

A rich explorer goes on an excursion into the Amazon rainforest. He has heard of all the wondrous wildlife there is to see, so he sets off with a guide and travels deep into forest. The deeper he goes, the more magical and strange the creatures...

Did you guys see Rick Astley cover Everlong?

He's never gonna give Foo up.

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TIL seagulls are not the only birds to poop in-flight

I just read about the great Foo birds of Bolivia. If they hit you, it is considered bad luck to remove the feces until it dries. Roughly translated, the custom is "If the Foo shits, wear it".

My teacher told me to turn in my essay,

But I ain’t no snitch foo.

I heard Dave Grohl is making a new misogynistic otaku themed band

They're called the Wai-Foo Fighters

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A group of four lifelong hunters decided to end their careers in the best way possible.

They'd taken down the most dangerous game to be found, all over the world. From saltwater gators, to bull elephants. They were renowned worldwide for having bagged a giant squid some few years back, but they were getting on in age and knew that they'd be unable to keep up with the youngsters before ...

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Once upon a time, in Scotland...

A man is using his hand to scoop some water from a Scottish Highland brook. He is about to drink when he is interrupted by a local shouting a warning: “Dinnae drink thon water, mun, it’s foo o’ coo’s shite ’n’ pish.”

The man peers over at the local and calls back, “My good fellow, I’m English...

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Two homies from Oakland decide to go on a road trip, without a destination...

As Tyrrell is loading the trunk with booze, weed, and all sorts of ill shit, Jerome is loading himself up with all sorts of bling. They jump in the low riding Cutlass and hit the road.

A few days of mindless driving goes by, Tyrrell asks Jerome: "Ay bruh, where we at?" Jerome responds: "Sheee...

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