A joke my 10yr old sister has been repeating five times a day: where do cows live?

Moo York.

Deja Moo...

The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

how does a cow wash its mouth??

using a moo-thwash.

sorry. if you did nto like it..
i got this idea while i was .... showering.. thought to share with you all.

The cow goes 'moo.' The horse goes 'neigh'. The pig goes

Can I see your licence and registration?

Have you heard of Deja moo?

It's the feeling you get when you heard this bull before.

This is absolutely unoriginal but should be shared anyway, because it's so good. Have a great rest of your day!

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said, “Baaaa.”

The first cow asked the second cow, “Why did you say baaaa?”

The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”

What is the dairy farmer’s favorite Disney movie?

Moo-ana

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At kindergarten. Teacher: What new sounds you heard at the farm today? Kid 1: Moo. Kid 2: Oink. Kid 3: Quack...

Kid 4: get the fuck off my truck!

The methane released as a product of the dairy industry is kinda sus

That's what I'd call a moo gas

Two in one!

"Knock knock"

"Who's th-"

"MOO! Tank."

"Tank who?"

"You're welcome. Knock knock."

"Who's there?

"Time travelling interrupting cow."

Bad cows, bad cows,

whatcha gonna moo?!

It’s white, says moo but it’s not a cow

A sheep with a identity disorder

what is the difference between a sad ghost and an angry cow?

one boos sadly the other moos madly

A new supermarket opened near my house.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing, and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department, there is th...

A new supermarket opened near me a few weeks ago.

They’re trying a new thing: immersion! For example, when you stop by the deli you can smell fresh grass and hear cows mooing, at the fish section you smell sea salt and feel a small bit of spray on your face, and at the fruit stall you can see mist on the apples, and smell fields of oranges and pear...

Two cows walk into a barn

"man i hate this farm", said the first one.
"mood", mooed the second cow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A substitute teacher gets a job in the city.

In the lesson of the day the the teacher begins talking about farm animals and finds himself having to explain animals the famers keep.

None of the kids have ever seen, much less heard heard a farm animal.

Mr. Jones says, "does anyone know what sound a cow makes?"

Nobody moves...

If a cat goes meow and a cow goes moo, what does the dog say?

Ed...ward..

What do you call a black and white cow?

Moo-latto

If cows say "moo" and ghosts say "boo", what does the ghost of a cow say?

Nothing. Cows don't have souls.

Soooo my 4 year old nephew just told me this. He's a little nerd but it made me chuckle. Knock knock...

Who's there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No idiot... Cows go moo!

A dog says to the other, “Woof!” The other replies, “Moo!” The first dog is perplexed.

He says, “Moo? Why did you say, ‘Moo?’”

The other dog answers, “I’m trying to learn a foreign language.”

What did Donald Trump say to the cow?

Fake moos!

Recent polling of Redditors indicates users prefer Paul Bunyan and his animal companion to the current mascot.

Seems you prefer the blue moo in lieu of the Snoo.

Me and my mate were playing darts

he said "Nearest to bull starts?", I said "Baa," he said "Moo," I said "You're first then."

What's pink and goes "moo"?

A pig with an identity crisis.

What do healthy cows eat for breakfast?

Mooesli

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two cows are standing peacefully on a hill. "Moo", pipes up the first cow. The second cow turns to her and says

"BITCH, I WAS GONNA SAY THAT!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Barnyard antijokes, written by an AI

Q:
What's the difference between a horse and a duck?

A:
A horse has legs but a duck has feathers.

Q:
Why do elephants play hide-and-seek?

A: They don’t have to worry about winning.

Q:
How much is a cow worth?

Answer:
100 Pounds.

Q: ...

I picked up some Chinese from a local place...

I picked up some Chinese from a local place (won't name them), and as I was driving home, I heard a weird rustling in the bag! I was like, "WTF is in the bag?" I swear I saw something peering at me out of the corner of my eye.

I pulled over hard, slammed the car in park, and gingerly picke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Déjà Moo

When you are sure you have heard this bullshit before.

A boy decides to learn a language of all animals

- Dad, there is a school where you can learn the language of animals. Please, give me money to go there and study.

*Fathers agrees and gives him money*

*After a year, son returns home and father decides to test his skills*

-Son, did you learn the language?
-Yes father. Do you...

If cows go moo and sheep go baa, what do pigs say?

I'll make America great again

The Monk and The Cow

A humble monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, and the river flows with the breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. Softly, the mo...

Courtesy of my seven year-old son: What do cows call their clothes?

Moo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke translated from arabic

Three men were at a woman's house while her husband is at work. But he decided to come home early. Hearing the sound of the car, the woman told them to hide. With not enough time, they hid under garbage bags. The man walks in and asks his wife "What are those bags?"

The woman says:"my father ...

What is a exodus of Cows called

A Moo-vement

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde are escaping prison...

They come across a farm and decide to hide among the animals in a desperate attempt to conceal themselves.
The police show up and find the redhead within the chicken coop. “Squawk, cock-a-doodle-do,” she cries.
Next, they find the brunette hiding among the cows in their pens. “Moo!” She lows, ...

Why did the cow want to be an attorney?

For all the moo law

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A struggling rock band...

A struggling indies band from Brooklyn, The Spoonerists, was in the process of recording their debut album. The artistic sentiment of the group led them to use ambient sounds from nature in their arrangements. One of the members of the band took it upon himself to go out in to the field and make rec...

All of the cows on the farm networked all of their computers so they could stream the latest Disney film

They set up a moo LAN.

Reddit is secretly run by cows, and I can prove it!

[remooved]

What do you call a cow who travels with you and can make phone calls?

A moo-bile phone

What does the coronavirus do to jump to cows?

It moo-tates.

Where does the hairy farmer hide his cows ?

In his moo stash.

What do you call a cow who wears a burqha?

A Moo-slim

What currency do you use to buy a cow?

Moo-ney

I posted a Joke involving a cow, but it was a little offensive apparently so I'll take it down

[remooooved]

Three women plan to escape from jail. One is a redhead, one is a brunette, and one is a blonde.

As the women are in their cell, the brunette suggests an escape plan. She decides that they should break out at exactly midnight, as that is when the guards change posts and are most tired.

The women escape quietly and quickly. However, a guard somehow notices them, and proceeds to shout and...

What do you call a racist cow and chicken?

The moo clucks klan

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said always was

"Bach, Bach, Bach...."

(and his cows preferred MOO-zak)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the cow say to the farmers wife when it was feeding time?

*Moo bitch, get out the hay*

Elon Musk launched a cow to the moon. It landed so hard that a quarter of the moon got annihilated.

Moo.

I'm not gonna lie, my girlfriend is a cow. But there's something intriguing about her...

She moos in mysterious ways

What did the Italian farmer name his fascist cow?

Moo-ssolini

TIL that after recording for Mulan, Eddie Murphy designed a line of sneakers for cows.

They were called Moo Shoes.

Two cows are in a green grass field when one says to the other-

"You know even though pi is usually written upto only two digits after the decimal point it is actually infinite."

The other cow replies,”moo.”

What newspaper do cattle read?

The Daily Moos.

What is a cow’s favorite knife?

A moo-chete

Little Johnny in Sunday school

So little Johnny is in Sunday school for weeks and every time the answer to all the questions is Jesus! So the teacher asks little Johnny. What is black and has white spots and makes a moo sound. Little Johnny says well it sounds awfully like a cow, but I’m gonna say it’s Jesus!

Chatting with my favorite four year old, we came up with this one: How do cows get their furniture from one house to another?

A mooing van

How do you hide a cow?

You Cow-Moo-flage it.

What do young male Spanish cows call each other?

Moo-chachos

A bull notices a spider on a cow’s back

He tells the cow, “don’t moo.”

What did the cow say when the chicken tried to tickle her?

"I'm not in the MOOOOOOOd!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asked the kids what sounds they heard on the field trip to the farm...

Bobby said, "MOO!!!"

Lisa said "OINK"

Tommy said "GET OFF THAT FUCKING TRACTOR!!"

The road was wet, the moon was high, we were alone, just her and I. The moon was bright, her eyes were too, I knew just what she wanted to do.. So with my courage, I did my best, and placed my hand, upon her breast. I knew she was ready, but I didn't know how..

It was my first time ever, milking a cow.

What do cows do on weekends ?

They go to the moo-vies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife sent me selfie...

My wife sent me a selfie of herself in a new pair of jeans, asking if her ass looked big in it.

I texted back "Noo..." but my damn phone auto corrected it to "Moo..."


Please send help...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them, "what kind of noises did you hear at the farm?"

The first kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the cow go moo!"

The second kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the pig go oink!"

The third kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the farmer yell 'get off my tractor you little fucker!'"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny's class were talking about animals on farms

"What kind of sound does a cow make?" the teacher asked.

Sarah raises her hand and after being called on says "A cow goes moo!"

"Very good Sarah. Who can tell me what sound a sheep makes?"

Billy raises his hand and after being called on says "A sheep goes baa!"

"Excellent...

What do you call a cow that plays music

A moo-sician

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Rooster

A farmer goes to the market looking for a new rooster. He finds one for very cheap and asks the owner what was wrong with it. "This rooster fucks everything and i cant get him to stop, please take him" said the man. So the farmer takes the rooster home and puts him in his cage. That night he heard h...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.