Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.
What did the crow starting a charity say?
Would you like to support our caws?
How come crows never get hit by cars?
Their friends are all up on the power lines yelling "caw caw!"
Harry Potter is invited to a... "gathering" at Hogwarts one night.
He is told to go through the door marked by a gryphon. As he does so, he wonders what this is all about. When he enters the room, he is stunned to see Malfoy obviously inebriated on the floor, just slitherin' over to the side, towards a guy who would repeatedly huff 'n' puff clouds of smoke. Next to...
When I was in school, some professors noticed that the crows on campus were astoundingly intelligent. These crows recognized that when lights were green, cars could go and when they were red, cars would stop. Using this knowledge, the crows would put nuts on the crosswalk so that during a green ligh...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
My Shaggy Dog Joke
WARNING: This joke will probably not be funny.
There was this young boy who fantasized about flying like the birds one day. Every day after school he would try to make an invention that would allow him to soar above the clouds.
Every time he failed. Kids would bully him for flailing t...
Two caw are standing in a field
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
A new jokes store opens up in town.
A kid walks in to check out the place early the next day. Looking all around, he sees that the store has several recognizable items (such as whoopie cushions) and some unique items that he'd never seen before. There was also a wall full of candy, with weird names such as "Hoot Gummies" and "Woof Bar...
I tried talking to my friend who is a crow
He said he was busy and he’d give me a caw
A little boy excitedly rushes into a candy store that sold some unusual goods...
Inside he meets the owner who takes him around the store and shows him all of the products. There were lots of different ones, candy shaped like a dog biscuit, the grass a cow would eat, the worms a bird would eat and even one that looked like a T-bone steak!
The boy is awe-struck and can’t ...
Why was the crow bitter about his job?
They fired him without caws!
A crow asks a lady to donate to it's charity
'Whats your charity called?' , asks the lady.
' CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! ' , said the crow,
' It's four good caws'
Which bird is the most contented?
The crow. He never complains without caws.
Dave and Joe were best friends
Joe and his family went on vacation for about a week, but when he came back, Dave noticed that he was very different, his mood and tendencies had completely changed.
This was not the same Joe.
The smoking gun was that Joe's eyes were not his usual green, but blue.
He flew to J...
What did the crow say when his friend got run over by a hit and run driver?
Caw the Cawps!
Backstory - my daughter just woke up telling me about her nightmare - I was driving her down a road, and kept running over crows in the road, she would look back and would see crows mourning over their friends. We had to keep driving back and forth through the same road because...
OP meets a talking crow
One day OP decides to get off reddit for a bit and go for a nice leisurely walk. After walking for a few hours he pauses at a park bench and sits down to collect his thoughts.
A crow lands on the bench beside him and takes him off guard by saying hello.
“Are... are you a talking crow?...
As a boy i had dreams that told the future.
One night when i was young, a crow came to me in a dream.
"Your aunt is going to die!" It cawed. I woke up immediately and ran to tell my parents. They told me "Go back to bed its only a dream."
Then that morning they got a...
I watched a crow land on the line out front today
it was joined by five more in a few minutes. They sat cawing softly a bit, then flew off different directions.
I think I just saw an attempted murder.
Boston’s dead crows
On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the ...
Did you hear about the crows and the owls?
They're in caw-hoots.
Two crows that are husband and wife are home when
The phone rings. Ethel answers, hello? Hey Ethel Bob home. Yeah hang on. Hey Bob! Yeah? Phone caw!
Two scientists are studying a nest of newly-hatched crows..
The new parents are doing what they can, and the three chicks are noisy and demanding.
One day, the scientists notice that one of the chicks isn't making noise anymore. They see he's making the motions, but no sound is coming from his beak.
The scientists decide to do something to try ...
I was woken up at 5am by a crow...
It just wouldn't stop cawing. After an hour I felt like shooting the damned thing! Then another crow joined it and they started to have a jolly old conversation. I wanted to blow both their heads off! One more crow and there definitely would've been a murder.
There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.
This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a v...
A group of naturalists found hundreds of dead crows near highways. They began investigating.
They brought an Ornithologist in, who discovered that 90% had been killed by trucks. After some study, they figured out that it was because the crows could say "Caw!" but not "Truck!"
What does a crow with a cold sound like?
Caw-ph, Caw-ph, caw-ph.
Why do crows do vocal exercises every morning?
For the Good of the Caws.
An Irish, a British, and American soldiers...
...had just helped each other escape from an Axis prisoner camp in WW2 Germany. As they run through the Bavarian forest, they hear alarms sounding, and soon afterwards, they hear dogs barking and guards yelling to each other.
The barking and yelling gets louder and louder, and the escapees r...
What was the crow doing up on the telephone pole?
He was making a long-distance caw.