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A Navy Rhyme

A Navy man, a war hero, attends a lunch at a Ladies’ Patriotic Society. Cucumber sandwiches on crustless bread – he endures it manfully. Then the ladies, who have been at the sherry, ask to hear a Navy rhyme. Ladies, he says, I will accede to your request. But in place of each atrocious word, I will...

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In the draw down of WWII...

Dignitaries and generals were touring Nazi facilities in Europe. One of the stops that they made was at a naval base where the dreaded U-Boats were based.

The dignitaries and their staffs were headed to a captured U-Boat, when a droning was noticed, and the air raid sirens went off. The Luft...

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My father in the delivery room: 1973

My younger brother was born a few hours prior to this so dad and his buddies are clamoring around the hospital drinking, celebrating and smoking cigars - in the hospital, it was 1973 after all

They manage to find their way to the nursery and look in at the babies cooing at them as each one is...

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck.

Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hanged for his crimes.

Trump simply smiles and shakes his head.

Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the...

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Two guys are watching the Kentucky Derby.

One of the guys, Jeff, is there, bragging about how he has a really fast dog that can almost beat the horses. He bets everyone there 300$ that their pets can’t beat his dog in a race. The other guy, Steve, is wearing a trench coat. Steve walks up to Jeff and takes him up on the bet.

After the...

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A drunk’s struggle

A man has been sitting at a bar drinking his sorrows away all night. The bartender notices the guy’s state of intoxication and decides it’s time to cut him off for the night.

“I won’t serve you anymore tonight” says the bartender.

“That’s fine” says the drunk as he stumbles out the f...

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As Vernon the vampire bat flew inside the cave…

his friends started at him with a mixture of admiration and jealousy.

“Yo Vernon, your face is covered with blood! What kind of animal did you feed from?”

Vernon gazed as his friends and said smugly “None of your business!”

“C’mon Man! Don’t be an idiot! Tell us!”

“Nah. N...

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A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.

The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.

The vendor clamors "Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?"

And...

Big Mike and the Saloon

In the Old West, there's this saloon. It's decently-sized and fairly crowded. But one day, the sheriff comes in and yells, "Y'all better git! Big Mike is comin'!"

The folk in the saloon figure this Big Mike guy is bad news, so the whole place clears out. The bartender is about to close up sho...

A blind man walks into a convenience store with his service dog

He heads down an aisle and pauses, his faithful Golden Retriever by his side. With a grunt he picks the dog up by the leash and starts swinging him in circles over his head.

*Wooosh wooosh wooosh*

Bags of chips are flying around and candy bars are falling to the floor, along with a cla...

Scottish man in canada

So a Scottish man with a stereotypical accent goes to canada and is riding on a train through the country. He then sees a moose out the window and starts FREAKING out. As the train crew notice his clamor, they quickly go to ask him what is wrong. He then asks, "What is that giant monster out there??...

A Guy Walks into a Bar.

The first thing he sees is a tiny man playing piano. The little guy is a prodigy, hands moving with impossible intricacy, delicacy, and speeds. The music is beyond incredible—it the best music the man ever heard.

The guy approached the bartender, and curious, asked, “So what’s up with the lit...

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