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Birthdays Jokes

Birthdays are good for your health

Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.

Which 5 birthdays are a males major milestones and why?

16 because it’s the first time they can legally drive.
18 because it’s the first time they can legally be called an adult.
21 because it’s the first time they can legally drink alcohol.
35 because it’s the first time they can legally run for the office of President of the US.
36 because ...

Two guys are talking about what the are got their wives for their birthdays…

…and one of them say he got his wife a five karat Diamond ring.

And his buddy says, “That’s nice, but I thought she wanted a Lexus?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know where to buy a fake Lexus.”

I've had 21 birthdays

Yet somehow you're trying to tell me this is my cakeday?

I think birthdays should celebrate the mother

Because really what did the kid do?

What do mice eat on their birthdays?

Cheesecake.

Birthdays are great

But too many of them will kill you

It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy.

Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest.

TIL that anarchists don't celebrate birthdays

Because they don't believe in parties.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday

She replied „nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.“


So, I bought her nothing.

Facebook Birthdays.

Facebook birthdays don't remind me to say happy birthday. Instead, they remind me to systematically remove the kids from high school who I haven't talked to in five years.

21st Birthdays

A boy from Duluth, Minnesota named Lars had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seem that his father, grandfather and great grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthdays, to the boat club across the lake for their first legal drink.

So when Lars' 21st ca...

How many birthdays does it take for someone to realize they aren’t funny?

I know I’m not funny just laugh so I feel good... it’s my birthday

Birthdays are like my girlfriend

They only come once a year

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been giving my friends t shirts with photos of them printed on it for their birthdays.

Half of them think it's hilarious, and half of them tell me how the fuck did I get this picture of them sleeping.

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