When Usain Bolt finishes in 9 seconds the world celebrates

But when I do it my girlfriend gets disappointed...

A lottery winner celebrates by buying himself a Rolls-Royce and membership of the local golf club.

Obviously when he gets the car he has to drive it straight round to the golf club and make sure all the members get to see it, and he's ostentatiously buying drinks for the whole bar but sticking to lemonade himself because he's "got to drive the Roller home later, you know", and when it's time to g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Couple celebrates their 30th anniversay

A couple celebrates their 30th anniversary. They have a nice evening out, dining in their favourite restaurant.

Later that night, when they get to bed, the woman says to her husband: "You know what honey, tonight, you can do anything you want with me."

The husband thinks for a second, ...

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