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Independence Day Jokes

I re-watched Will Smith in "Independence Day" last night.

Still slaps.

This 4th of July, the British should celebrate Independence Day too.

Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.

2 Boys Arrested at Independence Day Parade

One boy was eating fireworks and the other was drinking battery acid.

They charged one and let the other one off.

Today we celebrate Independence Day!

For those that don't know their history, this was the day in 1996 that Will Smith saved the Earth from aliens.

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Cuz freedom \*rings\*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells "behavior", "color", and "humor" the way they do?

Because **fuck u**, that's why!

Happy Independence Day!

oh wait...

What’s the largest export of Great Britain?

Independence days

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese!


(Happy [Bastille Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastille_Day)!)

This 4th of July please remember it's not "firecracker"

This Independence Day, please remember it's not "firecracker," that term is very offensive to some people. It's "fire-caucasian." Thank you.

Today I'm going to celebrate Independence Day......

Or as my two children like to call it,

"The day mummy joined the angels."

My sister made 44 cupcakes with an assortment of red, white, and blue frosting for an Independence Day dinner.

"Why 44?" I asked her. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had?"

(This actually just happened.)

I should have known my relationship was doomed when my girlfriend made me watch the Vietnamese Independence Day parade.

There were so many red flags.

Miss Annie was teaching Sunday school to a group of first graders.

She explained that Easter would come soon, and asked if anyone knew which holiday Easter was.

Little Suzie asked, “Is that the holiday where we get a tree, and everyone gets presents?”

Miss Annie said, “No that is Christmas.”

Little Billy asked, “Is that the holiday where we hav...

What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?

There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.

4th July

If the 4th of July is independence Day, why isn't 17th February Shawshank redemption day? It was a much better film.

Waking up just in time for the election

William Holsfermeyer was frozen in 1990, waiting for a cure for his fatal condition. The doctors chose Independence Day to bring him back.

\-Mister Holfsermeyer, can you hear me?.

\-Mmmmfpppffff!.

\-Yes, yes!. That is good. Let me remove the tube from your mouth. Better now?....

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