Inauguration Jokes

Early in the night, FDR appears. Trump asks him "how can I make America great again?"
FDR replies "think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets"
Trump's face sours "FAKE NEWS!" he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls bac... read more

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Oba... read more

It sounds like he Putin a lot of practice

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.

"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit for the inauguration and stay with me for a few days."

"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."

"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"

"Oh, but you know, cab fa... read more

“I don't think so, Susie. It's an 18-hour drive.”

“Don't worry about it, dad! I will send Air Force One, and a limousine to pick you up at your door.”

“I don't know, Susie. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”

“Oh, dad,” replies Susan, “I'll make sure she ha... read more

He was the crying baby you heard right before Biden took his oath

He wants to grab them by Debussy.

One more thing that Trump has that's smaller than a black guy's.

At least I assume so because the government shutdown for it.

I walked right out in the middle of his speech..

but it’s actually pronounced Felania!

After drinking several glasses of water, he asked President Clinton if he could use the bathroom in the Oval Office. He was astonished to see that the president had a solid gold urinal installed. That night, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.



“Just think,” he said, “whe... read more

Because it's a cold day in hell....

Tiny in comparison.

Trump's crowd paled in comparison.

Because after the inauguration people everywhere will simultaneously exhale.

I call it, "Make America Smashed Again"
It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice.

Stewed Orange and Chickpea

I don't know if that is to hurt them, or just give them all Orange Face?

I guess the sun was another big star that refused to show.

Then he took it back because your mother left.

Wow, that was quite a mouthful.

A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American officials. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.

Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?”

Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know ... read more

Among other topics, conversation turns to Amazon and Google's targeted marketing and the methods they employ. To lighten the mood, Bill Clinton suggests that he and his former vice-president have an impromptu jam session for everyone on saxophone and bongos respectively, something they secretly did ... read more

Orange is the new Black

I'm not political, I just need some quite time alone.

ft. DJ Trump

So dont worry, Trump inaugurations are still a safe place.

Soon after, he calls up his mother to tell her the good news. "Mom, did you hear, I've been elected president!" "Oh, T
That's so great to hear, darling. I'm so proud of you!"

"So," asks the man, "you'll be coming out for the inauguration, right?" "I'm not sure," says his mother, "D.C. is ... read more

Best way to prevent COVID-19 spreading at the inauguration

...he thought a Brazilian people attended his inauguration.

Don't worry. I heard Inauguration Day will be plenty white.

1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work.

The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says "You're Fired"