Some people would call misappropriations of inauguration funds a felony...

but it’s actually pronounced Felania!

The first female president

The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive,...

Before his inauguration, George W. Bush was invited to take a tour of the White House.

After drinking several glasses of water, he asked President Clinton if he could use the bathroom in the Oval Office. He was astonished to see that the president had a solid gold urinal installed. That night, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.



“Just think,” he said, “whe...

Trump and Obama meets during inauguration.

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Oba...

On the night of his inauguration, Donald Trump is visited by 3 ghosts

Early in the night, FDR appears. Trump asks him "how can I make America great again?"
FDR replies "think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets"
Trump's face sours "FAKE NEWS!" he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls bac...

CDC advises no gatherings of 50 of more people...

So dont worry, Trump inaugurations are still a safe place.

I really hope Donald Trump wins this election

Best way to prevent COVID-19 spreading at the inauguration

Donald Trump had a great inauguration speech

It sounds like he Putin a lot of practice

It's official Trump's inauguration date is now a National Holiday.

At least I assume so because the government shutdown for it.

Trump's inauguration had a low turnout

Still more than Hillary's inauguration

Why does Donald Trump want classical music at his inauguration?

He wants to grab them by Debussy.

What will they play at the presidential inauguration if Republicans win?

Trump-ets

I'll see myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I will be in a bathroom stall later today to watch Trump's inauguration...

...it will forever be remembered as the day shit went down.

It wasn't raining during Trump's inauguration

It was just alternative sunshine

Did you notice the difference between Trump's inauguration and Obama's?

Trump's crowd paled in comparison.

News: Trump inauguration met with record high temperatures.

451 degrees Fahrenheit.

Well, it's Inauguration Day in America....

It's gonna be a great mourning.

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....

They are serving "Trump Soup" at the inauguration banquet

Stewed Orange and Chickpea

Police are pepper spraying protesters at the Inauguration today.

I don't know if that is to hurt them, or just give them all Orange Face?

Well if there's one thing we can all agree on regarding tomorrow's inauguration ...

Orange is the new Black

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump's Inauguration Speech Was Uploaded onto Pornhub

"Rich White Man Fucks Entire Country"

I was really moved by Trump's Inauguration,

I walked right out in the middle of his speech..

Inauguration Day crowds

One more thing that Trump has that's smaller than a black guy's.

I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink

I call it, "Make America Smashed Again"
It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice.

Sean Spicer said the inauguration had the "largest audience ever."

Then he took it back because your mother left.

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.

"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."

"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."

"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"

"Oh, but you know,...

A rave is being thrown at the White House tonight inauguration of the new President

ft. DJ Trump

As soon as the inauguration is over, I'm getting a position on Trump's ethics committee.

I'm not political, I just need some quite time alone.

It just occurred to me Trump's inauguration was cloudy.

I guess the sun was another big star that refused to show.

What did the secretary say to Bill Clinton after his inauguration speech?

Wow, that was quite a mouthful.

I can't wait until Trump's inauguration

when Ashton Kutcher finally pops out and tells us we've been punk'd

A Jewish man is elected president...

Soon after, he calls up his mother to tell her the good news. "Mom, did you hear, I've been elected president!" "Oh, T
That's so great to hear, darling. I'm so proud of you!"

"So," asks the man, "you'll be coming out for the inauguration, right?" "I'm not sure," says his mother, "D.C. is ...

My friend Larry

A friend of mine named Larry once told me, around the time of Bill Clinton's 2nd inauguration, "You know, President Clinton and I are buddies."
I said, "Sure you are."
He said, "No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me."
Sure enough, I turned on the TV t...

Are you disappointed you didn't have a white Christmas?

Don't worry. I heard Inauguration Day will be plenty white.

The date is 20 January 2017.

The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says "You're Fired"

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An old black meets St. Peter at the gates of heaven

St. Peter is there, and tells him

"Welcome, in order to get into the kingdom of heaven you must have done something worthwhile with your life, what have you done my son?"

"well", he said in a raspy voice, "I made love to a white woman"

"...okaay" St. Peter responded, "that's......

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

general knowledge quiz

Teacher: "Good morning children, each Thursday we're going to have a general knowledge quiz.

The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."

Wee Jock (a typical Scottish wag) thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a young couple...

Once there was a young couple who were very much in love.The girl became pregnant and gave birth to their first child. It was a difficult pregnancy and there were complications and surgery was required. When it was finished and the young woman came out of the recovery room, the surgeon met with the ...

Barack Obama

1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the fourth derivative called?

Inauguration.

Why?

Change of jerk.

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