Before his inauguration, George W. Bush was invited to take a tour of the White House.

After drinking several glasses of water, he asked President Clinton if he could use the bathroom in the Oval Office. He was astonished to see that the president had a solid gold urinal installed. That night, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.

​

“Just think,” h...

On the night of his inauguration, Donald Trump is visited by 3 ghosts

Early in the night, FDR appears. Trump asks him "how can I make America great again?"
FDR replies "think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets"
Trump's face sours "FAKE NEWS!" he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls bac...

Trump and Obama meets during inauguration.

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Oba...

Donald Trump had a great inauguration speech

It sounds like he Putin a lot of practice

Why does Donald Trump want classical music at his inauguration?

He wants to grab them by Debussy.

It's official Trump's inauguration date is now a National Holiday.

At least I assume so because the government shutdown for it.

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I will be in a bathroom stall later today to watch Trump's inauguration...

...it will forever be remembered as the day shit went down.

Trump's inauguration had a low turnout

Still more than Hillary's inauguration

What will they play at the presidential inauguration if Republicans win?

Trump-ets

I'll see myself out

Did you notice the difference between Trump's inauguration and Obama's?

Trump's crowd paled in comparison.

It wasn't raining during Trump's inauguration

It was just alternative sunshine

They are serving "Trump Soup" at the inauguration banquet

Stewed Orange and Chickpea

Police are pepper spraying protesters at the Inauguration today.

I don't know if that is to hurt them, or just give them all Orange Face?

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....

News: Trump inauguration met with record high temperatures.

451 degrees Fahrenheit.

Well, it's Inauguration Day in America....

It's gonna be a great mourning.

I was really moved by Trump's Inauguration,

I walked right out in the middle of his speech..

Sean Spicer said the inauguration had the "largest audience ever."

Then he took it back because your mother left.

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Trump's Inauguration Speech Was Uploaded onto Pornhub

"Rich White Man Fucks Entire Country"

I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink

I call it, "Make America Smashed Again"
It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice.

As soon as the inauguration is over, I'm getting a position on Trump's ethics committee.

I'm not political, I just need some quite time alone.

Inauguration Day crowds

One more thing that Trump has that's smaller than a black guy's.

Well if there's one thing we can all agree on regarding tomorrow's inauguration ...

Orange is the new Black

Guys, I know we're 3 days from Inauguration Day...

But here's how Bernie Sanders can still win!

A rave is being thrown at the White House tonight inauguration of the new President

ft. DJ Trump

Democrats: "The rains are God crying about Trump's inauguration"....

Republicans: "The storms are why there was such low turnout."

Trump: "The showers remind me of when I was in Russia."

It just occurred to me Trump's inauguration was cloudy.

I guess the sun was another big star that refused to show.

What did the secretary say to Bill Clinton after his inauguration speech?

Wow, that was quite a mouthful.

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Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert

There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.

"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."

"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."

"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"

"Oh, but you know,...

A Jewish man is elected president...

Soon after, he calls up his mother to tell her the good news. "Mom, did you hear, I've been elected president!" "Oh, T
That's so great to hear, darling. I'm so proud of you!"

"So," asks the man, "you'll be coming out for the inauguration, right?" "I'm not sure," says his mother, "D.C. is ...

Are you disappointed you didn't have a white Christmas?

Don't worry. I heard Inauguration Day will be plenty white.

The date is 20 January 2017.

The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says "You're Fired"

When the US elects President Susan Goldfarb ...

The year is 2032 and the United States has elected the first woman President, Susan Goldfarb.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says,

'So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, your father isn'...

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general knowledge quiz

Teacher: "Good morning children, each Thursday we're going to have a general knowledge quiz.

The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."

Wee Jock (a typical Scottish wag) thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ...

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Donald Trump is Being Sworn in as President...

The day is January 20, 2017. The greatly anticipated and feared time has come for Donald Trump's inauguration, and two men are watching it on the television from Australia, because they were slightly drunk and couldn't be bothered to get up and change the channel.

The moment came, and Trump s...

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An old black meets St. Peter at the gates of heaven

St. Peter is there, and tells him

"Welcome, in order to get into the kingdom of heaven you must have done something worthwhile with your life, what have you done my son?"

"well", he said in a raspy voice, "I made love to a white woman"

"...okaay" St. Peter responded, "that's......

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There was once a young couple...

Once there was a young couple who were very much in love.The girl became pregnant and gave birth to their first child. It was a difficult pregnancy and there were complications and surgery was required. When it was finished and the young woman came out of the recovery room, the surgeon met with the ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the fourth derivative called?

Inauguration.

Why?

Change of jerk.

My friend Larry says he knows everyone...

During President Obama’s inauguration, Larry told me, "You know, Obama and I are buddies." said, "Sure you are." He said, "No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me." Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Obama w...

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