What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey

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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey!



*Courtesy of a 7 year old in my class.*

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It's a man's 80th birthday

His buddies decide to hire him a call girl as a gift. The wheel him into a hotel room and on the bed is a gorgeous blonde. His buddies leave the room and she says "I'm here to give you super sex!". The old man looks at her and says "I'll take the soup".

What did the part First Nations, part French-Canadian pirate say after boiling a kettle on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey. I'm Métis. I made tea. I'm eighty.

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It was an old man's 80th birthday...

It was an old man's 80th birthday and his friends wanted to get him a special gift. After some discussion they decide to have a hooker come to his house that night and give him the time of his life. Later that evening as the old man was getting ready for bed he hears the doorbell ring. He opens t...

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Three guys died the same day

3 guys all died on the same day, and they're standing in line before Peter and the pearly gates.

Peter says "ayy fellas, I'm a little full today. I tell you what. Whichever one of you has the best death story gets in today."

So ol' Pete pulls the first guy over and asks how he dies. ...

Three women share a birthday and celebrate it together

For their 40th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the waiters are cute and wear tight pants.

For their 50th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the prices are reasonable and it has a good wine list.

For their 60th birthday they go to the Lakeview restau...

An old man is celebrating his 80th birthday...

...so his grandson decides to give him a gift and takes him to a brothel. The grandson says to the Madam, it's my grandpa's 80th birthday today and he's never been to a brothel before. The Madam says don't worry I'll give him somebody who's gentle and show him something exciting. So she takes the ol...

Two friends are going on a trip.

They see its getting late so one sugests they stop at the first hotel. So they stop at the first hotel and when they are in they ask for a room.
"There is only one room left and its on the 100th floor but the elevator is broken. You will have to climb up stairs." said the receptionist. Friends lo...

A teacher is discussing with a boy and girl about Christian faith

The teacher asks them, “Now, where do good people go to when they die?” The boy pokes the girl with a pencil and she pops up and yells, “For heavens sake!” The teacher tells her that she is right.
The teacher then asks, “So, what religious figure is known to be the son of god?” The boy pokes the ...

Billy's birthday gift

Little Billy just turned 8. His parents went all out for the party. They rented a bounce house. The cake was three layers. They even hired the best clown in the state. All of Billy's friends from school were there, even some of the older cool kids made it. At the end of the party, when everyone left...

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.

As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.'

The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me..'

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I w...

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A man goes to a bar in the top floor of a high rise building.

When he approches the bar, a man infront of him orders a scotch and proceeds to walk to the window where he jumps out. Shocked and horrified the man runs to the window and sees no sign of the man. He orders his drink and try to process what just happend.


About an hour later the window ju...

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Two old guys are drinking

Two elderly men are out drinking one evening. They've been friends since childhood and they are both approaching their 80th birthdays. As they sit at the bar and reminisce about their lives one of the men glances across the bar and sees another couple of buddies who are also up in years out drinking...

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