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Bangs Jokes

In my family, we have a special word for a drunk guy who bangs on your front door at 3am demanding to be let in.

Dad.

There are some Russian soldiers marching

They hear a voice shout from over a hill,

“I bet one Ukrainian can beat ten Russians!”

The Russian sergeant, thinking that it would be easy, sent ten men over the hill to fight. They heard a fighting and noise. No Russian soldiers came back. After a minute they heard the voice again,...

An old farmer got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet.

As he was heading back to bed, he looked out the window and saw the lights on in his shed. A closer inspection revealed men loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck.

He rushes to the phone and calls 000 (911)

"I need the police! There are some guys clearing out my shed!"...

What do NASCAR and gang bangs have in common?

If you’re not first, you’re last.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new teacher is assigned to teach geography class in school.

When she enters the classroom, she's horrified by what she sees. The kids are fighting, cursing, throwing chairs, drinking, and smoking.

"Hello class" she says.

"Fuck off, bitch!" the kids shout back.

Crying, the new teacher runs to the principal's office.

The principal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell...

He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building. Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye. Wonder Woman sits up and says,"What the hell was that!?" The Invisible Man rolls off her and say...

A girl bangs a calculator on the desk to make it work

Math teacher: why are you making noise

Girl: my calculator isn't working so I'm banging it to make it work

Math teacher: the calculator's gonna break, how would you like it if i banged you on the table

Whole class: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Gang bangs always get a bad rap on the news...

People fail to realize that 9/10 people enjoy them. The numbers don’t lie.

My neighbour with Alzheimer's bangs on my door every morning at 8:00am...

And everyday he frantically asks me if I've seen his wife.

At first it breaks my heart to tell him she's been dead for years, but I always feel better about it when he smiles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian immigrant comes to America, works hard...

... and is able to buy for his very first home: a condominium apartment. He throws an all night party with his friends to celebrate. One of his guests notices a hammer and a large metal pot next to one of the walls.

“What is that for?” he asks.

The Russian says “That is my talking A...

Whats blue and bangs old ladies?

Me in my lucky blue coat.

People think that having long hair and bangs is emo.

I think its more appropriate to cut it.

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