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What do you call someone who gets a sexual thrill from killing an animal?

A PETA-phile.

Why is Top Thrill Dragster 420 feet tall?

Because you get high really fast

Which Thrill Ride Does A Wine Glass Like To Go On The Most?

A Coaster

As much of a thrill-seeker as I am, I would never bungee jump...

I came into this world because of a broken rubber and I’m not going out because of one...

Cannibalism is a real thrill

Nail-biting from start to finish.

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In a recent survey on why men like BlowJobs 6% like the feeling, 12% like the thrill and...

...82% just like the silence.

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An *explosive* rhyme

There once was a girl named Jill...

Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill...

They found her vagina in South Carolina

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

There was once a little boy

For his 2nd birthday he was given a little tractor with pedals. He loved it so much that it started an obsession with tractors.

By his fourth birthday, he already had 30 tractors of different sizes and colours.

As soon as he learnt how to read, he started filling his shelves in his bed...

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An Irish peasant

An Irish peasant named Kory Andrea grew up knowing nothing but potatoes. His dad farmed potatoes, and his dad farmed potatoes, all the way back a thousand years. He had spent the entirety of his first twenty years on this Earth farming and harvesting potatoes.

One day, as if suddenly, the pot...

A small local zoo is losing business because it has a terrible track record keeping its animals alive.

The customers are noticing the sickly animals and they're not coming back.

In a desperate ploy the zoo decides to hire a new position. They hire an ambitious young man to dress up as a gorilla.

"It's an easy job", they explain in the interview. "Climb up and down the ropes, swing on...

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A man walks into work with a smile

Every morning, he walks in and passes the security guard with a great big grin on his face. One day, bleary eyed, the security guard asks him why he's so chipper every morning.

"Well, it's simple. Every morning when my alarm goes off, I rub my wife on the shoulder and say 'Blondie, Blondie, e...

I love to hunt lounge chairs...

It's not the kill that excites me, it's the thrill of the chaise.

The President of Ethiopia pays a visit to Moscow to meet Vladimir Putin

So the two sit down and discuss their politics when Putin says, "Hey, I'm bored, we have a fun little game we play here called Russian Roulette. We should play it."

"How do you play?" The President of Ethiopia asks.

"Easy, here's a pistol. It has a round and some empty slots. Point th...

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NSFW I was jacking it in a public bathroom the other day...

With the door unlocked and facing it. I love the thrill of thinking I could be caught, but obviously would never want someone to ACTUALLY walk in on me. So I'm pounding away, and right as I'm about to climax, a man wearing sunglasses walks in unannounced, and the jizz shpurts right onto his pant leg...

A multimillionaire goes to a psychologist [OC]

So, the multimillionaire is lying there on the couch, and he says, "I have this problem where I buy things. Big things, little things. It doesn't matter if it's a good deal or not. It doesn't matter whether or not I need it. It's the thrill of the purchase. In fact, yesterday I pulled out my wa...

I went to a theme park today, but I honestly thought it was a waste of money.

If I wanted to wait ages for a quick thrill, I'd go home to my wife.

The Garden of Eden [Poem]

In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows,

Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes.

In this garden were two little leaves.

One covered Adam and one covered Eve.

As the story goes on, never the less to say,

Along came the wind and blew the leaves away.

At the s...

If life was like middle school

Judge: In all my years on the bench, I have never seen a more despicable criminal. You robbed, assaulted, and tortured the victim simply for the thrill of it. Do you have anything to say before I sentence you?

Criminal: Nope

Judge: I hereby sentence you to forty years in a maximum secu...

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A couple Limericks...

There once was a man from Ireland
With balls made of fine brass
In stormy weather
They clanked together
And sparks shot out of his ass

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who was jerking off in a gutter
The tropical heat
Affected his meat
S...

Once there was a man named Al.

Once there was a man named Al. Al was happy in many ways. However, he soon took to cards for a bit of thrill in his life. He never cheated, despite his opponents doing so. Al decided he was happy.

In time, Al began to grow tired of playing with cheaters. He began to go to the pub every night,...

An artist, a lawyer, and a gamer are discussing the merits of a mistress.

The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered...

The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems.

The gamer says, "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks...

Forget it :P

The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested.
"But what if my wife finds out?"
"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"
So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I ...

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A limerick for Grangemouth, Falkirk, Scotland

In Grangemouth there's an oil refinery
A port, a canal and a winery
An to thrill you to bits
All the girls have 10 tits
That is if you count them in binary

The Band ACDC was Arrested For Firearm Possession...

They told the officer they only Shoot to Thrill

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