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Bonk Jokes

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A young man tells his Mom he’s gay

A young man decides that the upcoming holiday is a good time to tell his Mom that he's gay. He's in college, making new friends, and will eventually want to bring one of them home to meet the family. He spends the drive home going over the conversation, what he'll say, what she'll say, how he'll ans...

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Favourite porn movie parodies…

I’ll start, let’s see what list we can create…

Shaving Ryan’s Privates

Schindler’s Fist

Willy Bonk Her in the Chocolate Factory

Pulp Friction

Evil Head

Honey, I blew everybody

Inspect Her Gadget

Missionary Impossible

Saturday Night Beave...

Why did the doge cross the road?

To get to the bat to bonk

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Doc, you gotta help me!

A man goes to the doctors and says "Doc, you gotta help me!"

The doctor says "What's your problem?"

The guy says "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole'.. I give the missus a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work I car pool with the next door neighbor's wife who gi...

Where does the TF2 Scout keep his Money?

In his BONK Account.

Two guys are stuck in prison.

Desperate to get back out and perhaps lead semi-regular lives, the two cellmates try to brainstorm for an escape plan. A mere hour and a half later, one of the men comes up with a plan: steal some children's craft scissors, smuggle them back to the cell, cut through the floor, and cut out a tunnel b...

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A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island...

...and spends many months alone. Just as he's reaching the point that he's starting to go crazy, he spots a ship in the distance and, all excited, lights a fire on the beach that he'd prepared for just such an eventuality.

He's overjoyed when he sees the ship change course and start heading f...

A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning.

Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Daisy; written on it?" his wife demanded.

"Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago ...

I wish the book "How to be an adult" came in hard cover...

.. it would be that much more effective at bonking stupid people in the head.

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Making cake

5-year old Jennie and her mother are walking in the zoo. They walk past the monkey cage, in which two monkeys are fucking. Jennie asks her mother, "What are the monkeys doing?" and her mother, thinking quickly, answers, "Um, they're making cakes, dear." They keep on strolling through the zoo, and th...

Haven't posted for a while, so here it goes... A wild rabbit is captured...

and taken to a laboratory. While there he befriends a rabbit who has spent his entire life at the nicotine research facility. One evening the lab assistant forgets to lock the cage, and the wild rabbit suggests an escape. "I'm not sure," says the lab rabbit. "This is the only home I know."
"Come ...

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