A 5 year old I teach asked me if there is a similarity between bread and Sun

and then proceeded to tell me that both rises in yeast and sets in the waist.

What's the similarity between hamsters and cigarettes?

They're both harmless... till you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

What is the similarity between Julius Caesar and Tifa Lockhart?

Both of them were witnessed getting impaled in the Italian senate...

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What’s the similarity between having sex and bungee jumping?

If the rubber breaks, you’re doomed.

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What's the similarity between Santa's presents and a horny virgin?

They both come in socks.

What’s the similarity between a Poker player and a Butcher?

At some point, both will raise the steaks

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What is the similarity between a bank and sex?

In both cases, you lose interest after a withdrawal.

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What's the similarity between getting a blow job from an eighty year old woman and walking a tightrope?

In both cases, you really don't want to look down.

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What’s the similarity between tofu and a dildo?

Both are meat substitutes

what is the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

Both are allowed to smell but neither of them is allowed to eat.

What’s the similarity between a unicorn and a good politician?

Neither exist

What’s the similarity between a female and a vacuum

They only suck when they are turned on

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What's the similarity between a nice bunch of flowers and a bitch-demon from hell?

One has pretty petals, the other is the British Home Secretary.

What’s the similarity between a grenade and a wife?

You pull off the ring and then your house is gone

What's the similarity between a pack of chewing gum and a gun?

When you pull it out in class, everyone wants to be friends

Similarity between a beer and a penalty?

The English can easily swallow 3 of them in a few minutes.

What's the similarity between my brain and my computer hard drive?

Both are actively deleting memory and I have no idea why.

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What's the similarity between a woman living in Saudi Arabia and Amsterdam?

They both get stoned after sex.

What’s the similarity between a man with an upset stomach and a list of ancient Egyptian pharaohs?

>!They both have a toot in common!<

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The similarity between banks and sex ...

Either way you are getting fucked and early withdrawal is always penalized.

What is the similarity between me and an experiment involving a biased coin with two tails?

The probability of getting a head is zero.

What's the similarity between a river with too much agricultural runoff and really liking someone from the Far East?

One is eutrophication, the other is "You terrific Asian"

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What's the similarity between orgasm and pulse?

It doesn't matter if she had it

What is the similarity between a communist and an IT technician?

They both believe restarting it might work.

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Whats the similarity between avian flu and prostate cancer

cock inspection

What’s the similarity between the police and a bikini?

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

What's the similarity between my jokes and yo mama?

They never get hot

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What’s the similarity between you during sex & Messi during a penalty?

Both of you miss the goal.

What's the first similarity between you and your dad?

You've both been inside your mom

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What's the similarity between an alcohol-free beer and your sisters pussy?

When you taste it, it tastes ok. But there's something wrong with it

Whats the similarity between budweiser and Belgium?

Germans refuse to believe they are even there

A philosopher, a physicist, and a layman were walking on a beach

A theologist, a physicist, and a layman were walking on a beach when they come across a watch that had washed up on the shore.

After studying the watch for some time, the theologist declared that clearly some intelligent being has created the object, for each part works harmoniously with the ...

What's the similarity between a fresh pair of shorts and a Bugatti bought by a shady businessman?

Both were laundered.

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What's the similarity between a dick and a McDonald's burger?

They're both smaller and less-filling than advertised.

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Whats the similarity between the PS5 and a woman's orgasm?

The release date hasnt been revealed yet.

What's the similarity between America and Melania Trump?

They're both getting screwed by Donald Trump and neither one of them is happy about it.

I came up with this last night, but it might be a repost.

What is the similarity between a joke and shame

It's on me

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What is the similarity between the Sun and boobs?

With sunglasses, you can see it longer.

What's the similarity of a failure and you spanking a hard ass?

You're both hitting rock bottom.

What’s the similarity between a vegan and a frat boy?

They always manage to slip it in.

Whats a similarity between Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd?

Their last big hit was the wall

What’s the similarity between skid marks and my uncle?

you can find both in my boxers

Corona beer sales have plummeted just because of the name similarity

Which I don't get cause, when O.J killed his wife I didn't stop drinking orange juice

What is the similarity between COVID-19 and corruption?

Both are spreading through the highest levels of the US government.

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What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year old and her fetus

They both be thinking “Shit. Mom’s going to kill me”

Sorry if this has been posted before

What's the similarity between dark humor and food?

Some people don't get it.

What's the main similarity between a morgue and an office complex?

Both are good places for a stiff to go.

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What’s a similarity between an Astronomer and a Prostitute?

Their action begins when it’s dark!

I what’s the similarity’s between a cop and a kinky girlfriend?

They both keep chocking you even after you ask to stop.

What’s the similarity between a pot head and a Syrian girl wearing jeans?

They both get stoned.

What's the similarity between love of life and child?

I don't have either of them

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What's the similarity between a dick and the bible?

Jewish people cut off the end

What's the similarity between my uncle and sharks?

The both prey on schools

What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

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What's the similarity between becoming an eunuch and becoming a toreador?

Both cases, it takes balls to do it.

what's the similarity between mod and god ?

they both judge you on the basis of your karma.

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What's the similarity between a woman and a condom?

They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

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What's the similarity between Hitler and my sister?

They both used chemicals to remove the polish.

What is the similarity between an annoying person and spoilt food?

Both should've been swallowed in time.

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What is the similarity between electric cars and your penis?

Both of them are touch to start

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What's the similarity between Hitler and an asthma patient?

Neither of them can finish a race.

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What’s the similarity between a medieval military engineer and a pornography director?

They always want the biggest breastworks.

What’s the similarity between foreshadowing and foreplay?

Either way you know something is coming.

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What's the similarity between a bad boxer and a porn star?

They both take a pounding in the ring.

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What is the similarity between Ancient Greeks and Hitler?

They were both fucking assholes.

What’s the similarity between a Marriage and a Tornado?

There’s a lot of sucking and blowing then someone loses the house.

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What's the similarity between a vasectomized man and a Christmas tree?

The balls are just for show.

What's the similarity between Nike and the KKK?

They both make black men run faster.

What is the similarity between a bar and a bra ?

They both drive men crazy when they open.

What's the similarity between kids and tattoos

They are both permanent and can be removed with lasers.

A similarity about the job of President and Astronaut.

Educated, brave or ex-military there is a persona of the role, and the strife to get there. On the other hand, if you're a billionaire, for enough cash you can land yourself a seat up there with the help of Russia.

What is the similarity between a pilot and an air traffic controller?

If the pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If the air traffic controller screws up, the pilot dies.

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(NSFW) Whats the similarity with a hand wash and sex with me?

20 seconds is a good performance

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whats a similarity between a post on r/jokes and the dick of its poster?

The poster flairs both as "long" when it isn't.

What’s the similarity between girls into nail art and Germans?

Both remove polish with chemicals.

Whats the similarity between dark jokes and children with cancer

They never get old

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

What's a similarity between an antivaxx kid and this joke?

Both die in new

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[OC] What's the similarity between cycling and prison ?

Your ass gets used to it after a couple of months.

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