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What is the similarity between a bank and sex?

In both cases, you lose interest after a withdrawal.

what is the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

Both are allowed to smell but neither of them is allowed to eat.

What’s the similarity between a female and a vacuum

They only suck when they are turned on

What's the similarity between a pack of chewing gum and a gun?

When you pull it out in class, everyone wants to be friends

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What's the similarity between Santa's presents and a horny virgin?

They both come in socks.

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What's the similarity between a nice bunch of flowers and a bitch-demon from hell?

One has pretty petals, the other is the British Home Secretary.

What’s the similarity between a man with an upset stomach and a list of ancient Egyptian pharaohs?

>!They both have a toot in common!<

Similarity between a beer and a penalty?

The English can easily swallow 3 of them in a few minutes.

What's the similarity between my brain and my computer hard drive?

Both are actively deleting memory and I have no idea why.

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The similarity between banks and sex ...

Either way you are getting fucked and early withdrawal is always penalized.

What is the similarity between women and a swimming pool?

They cost too much in upkeep for what little time you spend inside them.

What's the similarity between a river with too much agricultural runoff and really liking someone from the Far East?

One is eutrophication, the other is "You terrific Asian"

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What's the similarity between a woman living in Saudi Arabia and Amsterdam?

They both get stoned after sex.

What is the similarity between me and an experiment involving a biased coin with two tails?

The probability of getting a head is zero.

What’s the similarity between a grenade and a wife?

You pull off the ring and then your house is gone

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Whats the similarity between avian flu and prostate cancer

cock inspection

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What's the similarity between orgasm and pulse?

It doesn't matter if she had it

What’s the similarity between the police and a bikini?

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

What is the similarity between a communist and an IT technician?

They both believe restarting it might work.

What's the similarity between my jokes and yo mama?

They never get hot

What's the similarity between a grenade and an STD?

Fire in the hole!

What's the first similarity between you and your dad?

You've both been inside your mom

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What's the similarity between an alcohol-free beer and your sisters pussy?

When you taste it, it tastes ok. But there's something wrong with it

Whats the similarity between Credit Cards and Kim Kardashian?

Plastic

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What's the similarity between a dick and a McDonald's burger?

They're both smaller and less-filling than advertised.

What is the similarity between a joke and shame

It's on me

Whats the similarity between budweiser and Belgium?

Germans refuse to believe they are even there

What’s a similarity between a photographer and a hit man?

They both get paid to shoot people.

What’s the similarity between skid marks and my uncle?

you can find both in my boxers

What’s the similarity between a vegan and a frat boy?

They always manage to slip it in.

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Whats the similarity between the PS5 and a woman's orgasm?

The release date hasnt been revealed yet.

What's the main similarity between a morgue and an office complex?

Both are good places for a stiff to go.

What's the similarity of a failure and you spanking a hard ass?

You're both hitting rock bottom.

What is the similarity between COVID-19 and corruption?

Both are spreading through the highest levels of the US government.

What's the similarity between my uncle and sharks?

The both prey on schools

What's the similarity between America and Melania Trump?

They're both getting screwed by Donald Trump and neither one of them is happy about it.

I came up with this last night, but it might be a repost.

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What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year old and her fetus

They both be thinking “Shit. Mom’s going to kill me”

Sorry if this has been posted before

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What is the similarity between the Sun and boobs?

With sunglasses, you can see it longer.

Corona beer sales have plummeted just because of the name similarity

Which I don't get cause, when O.J killed his wife I didn't stop drinking orange juice

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What’s a similarity between an Astronomer and a Prostitute?

Their action begins when it’s dark!

What's the similarity between love of life and child?

I don't have either of them

I what’s the similarity’s between a cop and a kinky girlfriend?

They both keep chocking you even after you ask to stop.

Whats a similarity between Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd?

Their last big hit was the wall

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What's the similarity between becoming an eunuch and becoming a toreador?

Both cases, it takes balls to do it.

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What's the similarity between a woman and a condom?

They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

The Pope discussing the existence of god with an out and out atheist

As the discussion goes on it gets more and more heated and at one point the annoyed Pope hollers -

"You are like a man who is totally blindfolded in a dark room looking for a black cat that is not there"

And the fella said,
"With all respect, Your Holiness, I think there is a great...

What’s the similarity between a pot head and a Syrian girl wearing jeans?

They both get stoned.

what's the similarity between mod and god ?

they both judge you on the basis of your karma.

What is the similarity between an annoying person and spoilt food?

Both should've been swallowed in time.

What’s the similarity between foreshadowing and foreplay?

Either way you know something is coming.

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What’s the similarity between a medieval military engineer and a pornography director?

They always want the biggest breastworks.

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What is the similarity between Ancient Greeks and Hitler?

They were both fucking assholes.

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What's the similarity between a dick and the bible?

Jewish people cut off the end

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What is the similarity between electric cars and your penis?

Both of them are touch to start

What's the similarity between dark humor and food?

Some people don't get it.

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What's the similarity between Hitler and my sister?

They both used chemicals to remove the polish.

What’s the similarity between a lawyer and sperm?

1 in 300 million have a chance to become a human being.

What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

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What's the similarity between Hitler and an asthma patient?

Neither of them can finish a race.

What is the similarity between a bar and a bra ?

They both drive men crazy when they open.

What's the similarity between kids and tattoos

They are both permanent and can be removed with lasers.

What’s the similarity between a Marriage and a Tornado?

There’s a lot of sucking and blowing then someone loses the house.

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What's the similarity between a bad boxer and a porn star?

They both take a pounding in the ring.

A similarity about the job of President and Astronaut.

Educated, brave or ex-military there is a persona of the role, and the strife to get there. On the other hand, if you're a billionaire, for enough cash you can land yourself a seat up there with the help of Russia.

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(NSFW) Whats the similarity with a hand wash and sex with me?

20 seconds is a good performance

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What's the similarity between a vasectomized man and a Christmas tree?

The balls are just for show.

What is the similarity between a pilot and an air traffic controller?

If the pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If the air traffic controller screws up, the pilot dies.

What's the similarity between DiCaprio and this decade?

Both will have dates in 20s.

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whats a similarity between a post on r/jokes and the dick of its poster?

The poster flairs both as "long" when it isn't.

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What was the similarity between jews and shoe sizes?

... There were more in 42 than in 46.

What’s the similarity between Jane Goodall and the Viet Cong?

They’re both masters of gorilla warfare

What's the similarity between Nike and the KKK?

They both make black men run faster.

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[OC] What's the similarity between cycling and prison ?

Your ass gets used to it after a couple of months.

What’s the similarity between girls into nail art and Germans?

Both remove polish with chemicals.

Whats the similarity between dark jokes and children with cancer

They never get old

What's a similarity between an antivaxx kid and this joke?

Both die in new

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