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Similarity Jokes

What’s the similarity between a grenade and a wife?

You pull off the ring and then your house is gone

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What's the similarity between a woman living in Saudi Arabia and Amsterdam?

They both get stoned after sex

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What’s the similarity between having sex and bungee jumping?

If the rubber breaks, you’re doomed.

What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes?

Americans don't get them.

What’s the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies?

Both mean you won’t be seeing a period for a little while.

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What's the similarity between Santa's presents and a horny virgin?

They both come in socks.

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What is the similarity between a bank and sex?

In both cases, you lose interest after a withdrawal.

What's the similarity between dark humor and food?

Some people don't get it.

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What's the similarity between a Christmas tree and a guy who had a vasectomy?

Their balls are decorative.

Noticed the similarity between food delivery drivers and gynecologists.

They can smell it, but shouldn't taste.

what is the similarity between algebra and pirates?

finding x.

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What's the similarity between "getting laid" and "getting laid off" ?

Either way you are fucked.

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What's the similarity between election and erection?

Only dicks can stand in both of them.

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What is the similarity?

What is the similarity Between a 9-volt battery And a women's asshole?

You know it's wrong But sooner or later You're bound to stick Your tongue in it

What’s the biggest similarity between waitressing and prostitution?

Tips are a big part of both jobs

What's a similarity between a guy in a wheelchair and a bad comedian

They can't do standup

What's the similarity between hamsters and cigarettes?

They're both harmless... till you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

What a similarity between an actor and politician

Everyone knows them for who they pretend to be.

What’s the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and life

They’re both pointless
*NYEH* *HEH* *HEH*

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What’s the similarity between boobs and Raspberry Pi computers?

Both were intended for kids but it’s the adults that end up playing with them more

what is the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

Both are allowed to smell but neither of them is allowed to eat.

What is the only similarity between serial killers and gamer

**They collect skins**

What is the similarity between a communist and an IT technician?

They both believe restarting it might work.

What is the similarity between Julius Caesar and Tifa Lockhart?

Both of them were witnessed getting impaled in the Italian senate...

Similarity between a beer and a penalty?

The English can easily swallow 3 of them in a few minutes.

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What’s the similarity between tofu and a dildo?

Both are meat substitutes

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what is the one similarity between a dick and a bottled drink

U shake them well for best taste

What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison?

They both turn "o" into "O".

What's the similarity between the unborn Chinese female and this joke?

[removed]

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What's the similarity between orgasm and pulse?

It doesn't matter if she had it

What's the similarity between 6th Sense and Titanic?

Icy dead people.

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The similarity between banks and sex ...

Either way you are getting fucked and early withdrawal is always penalized.

Whats a similarity between Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd?

Their last big hit was the wall

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What's the similarity between a dick and a McDonald's burger?

They're both smaller and less-filling than advertised.

What’s the similarity between a Poker player and a Butcher?

At some point, both will raise the steaks

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

What's the first similarity between you and your dad?

You've both been inside your mom

What’s the similarity between a unicorn and a good politician?

Neither exist

What's the similarity between America and Melania Trump?

They're both getting screwed by Donald Trump and neither one of them is happy about it.

I came up with this last night, but it might be a repost.

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What is the similarity between the Sun and boobs?

With sunglasses, you can see it longer.

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What's the similarity between Hitler and an asthma patient?

Neither of them can finish a race.

What's the similarity between a pack of chewing gum and a gun?

When you pull it out in class, everyone wants to be friends

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Whats the similarity between avian flu and prostate cancer

cock inspection

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What's the similarity between a dead Hitler and a cat?

They both have nein lives.

What’s the similarity between the police and a bikini?

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

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What's the similarity between a nice bunch of flowers and a bitch-demon from hell?

One has pretty petals, the other is the British Home Secretary.

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What's the similarity between getting a blow job from an eighty year old woman and walking a tightrope?

In both cases, you really don't want to look down.

What's the similarity between Boris Johnson and the clapper on Big Ben?

They're both massive bell-ends.

What's the similarity between my uncle and sharks?

The both prey on schools

What is the similarity between COVID-19 and corruption?

Both are spreading through the highest levels of the US government.

What's the similarity between kids and tattoos

They are both permanent and can be removed with lasers.

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What's the similarity between Hitler and my sister?

They both used chemicals to remove the polish.

what's the similarity between mod and god ?

they both judge you on the basis of your karma.

What’s the similarity between foreshadowing and foreplay?

Either way you know something is coming.

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What’s a similarity between an Astronomer and a Prostitute?

Their action begins when it’s dark!

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What's the similarity between a woman and a condom?

They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

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What’s one similarity between pussies and the mafia?

One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit

What's the similarity of a failure and you spanking a hard ass?

You're both hitting rock bottom.

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What is the similarity between having sex with a hot German girl and James Joyce's Ulysses?

I fall asleep before they finish.

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What's the similarity between an alcohol-free beer and your sisters pussy?

When you taste it, it tastes ok. But there's something wrong with it

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What is the similarity between Ancient Greeks and Hitler?

They were both fucking assholes.

What’s the similarity between a lawyer and sperm?

1 in 300 million have a chance to become a human being.

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What’s the similarity between you during sex & Messi during a penalty?

Both of you miss the goal.

What’s the similarity between a vegan and a frat boy?

They always manage to slip it in.

A similarity about the job of President and Astronaut.

Educated, brave or ex-military there is a persona of the role, and the strife to get there. On the other hand, if you're a billionaire, for enough cash you can land yourself a seat up there with the help of Russia.

What's the similarity between black and Mexican jokes?

If you heard Juan, you heard Jamal.

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What is the similarity between electric cars and your penis?

Both of them are touch to start

What's the similarity between a lawyer and a basketballer?

They see their opponents in court.

What’s the similarity between a Marriage and a Tornado?

There’s a lot of sucking and blowing then someone loses the house.

What is the similarity between me and an experiment involving a biased coin with two tails?

The probability of getting a head is zero.

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[OC] What's the similarity between cycling and prison ?

Your ass gets used to it after a couple of months.

What's the main similarity between a morgue and an office complex?

Both are good places for a stiff to go.

What's the similarity between DNA and diarrhea?

They both run in the genes.

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What's the similarity between becoming an eunuch and becoming a toreador?

Both cases, it takes balls to do it.

What's the similarity between Kodak and condoms?

They are both there to catch those special moments.

The similarity is uncanny

I recently learned about the movie/book The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

It's the story of a group of girls who discover a piece of clothing. At first, it seems pretty ordinary, but it has magical properties, to include magically resizing itself, thus fitting everyone, despite some cons...

What's the similarity between Bill Cosby and Santa have in common?

They both come when you're asleep.

What's the similarity between DiCaprio and this decade?

Both will have dates in 20s.

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What is the similarity between earth and a pussy?

The deeper you go, the hotter it is...

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What's the similarity between a bad boxer and a porn star?

They both take a pounding in the ring.

Whats the similarity between dark jokes and children with cancer

They never get old

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What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year old and her fetus

They both be thinking “Shit. Mom’s going to kill me”

Sorry if this has been posted before

What's a similarity between an antivaxx kid and this joke?

Both die in new

What is the similarity between an annoying person and spoilt food?

Both should've been swallowed in time.

What is the similarity of a cannon and canon?

They both destroy ships

What's the similarity between smartly dressed people and a unicycle?

A-tire.

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What’s the similarity between sex and 9/11?

Both were inside jobs.

What's the similarity between a dentist and an engineering graduate?

Both like plaques

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What was the similarity between jews and shoe sizes?

... There were more in 42 than in 46.

What's the similarity between a coffin and a condom?

You put a stiff one in both.

I what’s the similarity’s between a cop and a kinky girlfriend?

They both keep chocking you even after you ask to stop.

What is the similarity between a bar and a bra ?

They both drive men crazy when they open.

What’s the similarity between Jane Goodall and the Viet Cong?

They’re both masters of gorilla warfare

What's the similarity of aliens and my dad?

No one has seen neither of them in a long while

What is the similarity between a pilot and an air traffic controller?

If the pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If the air traffic controller screws up, the pilot dies.

What’s the similarity between a man with an upset stomach and a list of ancient Egyptian pharaohs?

>!They both have a toot in common!<

What's the similarity between iPhone 7 and my girlfriend?

They both let me stick it in only one place.

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What's the similarity between smoking a cigarette and eating pussy?

The taste changes the closer you get to the butt.

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What is the similarity between erect dicks and math problems

They are long and hard

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(NSFW) Whats the similarity with a hand wash and sex with me?

20 seconds is a good performance

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What is a similarity between computers and prostitutes?

They can both be used for 20+ hours.

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What’s the similarity between a medieval military engineer and a pornography director?

They always want the biggest breastworks.

What’s the similarity between Medusa and Drugs?

They both leave you stoned

What’s the similarity between girls into nail art and Germans?

Both remove polish with chemicals.

What's the similarity between a fresh pair of shorts and a Bugatti bought by a shady businessman?

Both were laundered.

What's the similarity between Santa Claus and a creepy stalker

He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake

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What is the similarity between women's panties and a chainsaw?

If you make a bad move your fingers are in deep shit

What's the similarity between a river with too much agricultural runoff and really liking someone from the Far East?

One is eutrophication, the other is "You terrific Asian"

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