Thought this up while driving behind a car with a Star Wars Rebel sticker on it.

What is the favorite type of weather of Stormtroopers?

Mist

When rebels were combatting Franck’s regime, they found that it was most cost effective to use bullets made of tin

Nobody expects the Spanish tin munition!

What were the rebels called during the Greek Civil War?

The Confetaracy

Before Luke Skywalker died, he saw his mother and father before him...

His mom asked why he had blonde hair when he was young, as neither she nor anikin had it.

Luke fell silent, but before he could answer, his father answered " he was going through a rebel phase, dear"

A soul is sent to hell.

"Get me the manager! I demand to know why I am in Hell!" the soul shouted.
The fallen angel sighed. "We rebelled against God."
"That's no reason to punish me!"
"You do not understand. You were not sent here to be punished by us. You were sent here as punishment to us."

What do you call it when someone rebels against their diabetes treatment?

Insulince.

What do you call a biker who doesn't believe in Santa?

Rebel without a Claus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.

We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-ass neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service...

In German Prisoner-of-War camps, escapes were a a major problem.

The officers would try to break the prisoners’ spirits by making them do mindless things. In particular, they would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, ‘tick tock tick tock.’

Some prisoners, unable to escape or otherwise change thei...

Why did Rudolph run away from Santa, get a tattoo and dye his tail purple?

He was a rebel without a Claus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Stormtrooper and a Twi’lek prostitute are chatting after sex

She says to him, “You know, I’ve fucked guys from the Empire and from the Resistance and I’m more partial to you Imperials.”

“Why is that?” Asks the stormtrooper.

“Well you guys always seem to last longer.”

“Is that so? Whats wrong with the Rebels?”

“Well,” she says with...

What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?

A rebel without a clause

In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled.

As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"

(X post) After many abuses, the horse finally rebelled from the lack of food.

It was the last straw.

Why did the rebels lose at the hoth battle?

The terrain was inhothpitable.

A group of soldiers was fighting against a group of rebels...

They had been fighting for a few years now, and many people, including innocent citizens, had lost their lives during this period. The soldiers tried and tried to rid the city of the rebels, but the latter was a strong resistance and were hard to defeat. Regardless of the many new personnel, bases a...

What do you call a rebelling Eukaryote?

A Protesta

In tonight's debate Trump said we can't trust the rebels

I'm not surprised; he has always reminded me of Emperor Palpatine.

I got a new cylindrical bailer for the hay, but the cows all rebelled...

...they wanted three square meals a day.

A punk has an accident and loses their nose

call that a rebel without a schnoz.

Do NOT Read the Next Sentence.

You little rebel. I like you.

What did the suicide bomber from the Rebel Alliance say before detonating?

ADMIRAL ACKBAR!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[nsfw] so apparently adult male whales have a 10 foot long penis when fully erect

The only thing i dont get is how rebel wilson fits it in her pants

What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance?

Leia Princess!

What's a rebel's favorite key on a keyboard?

An R key.

This may be controversial to most people, but i feel it must be said. I FULLY support flying the rebel flag.

How else are we supposed to show our support and remembrance of the battle of Hoth, and our willingness to topple the empire and bring peace to the galaxy?

What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month?

The Imperial March.

Why do gyms produce the best Rebels?

Because of all the resistance training

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob and bill are looking over the star destroyer blueprints

"Hey bob, do we need any turrets on the bottom half of this Star Destroyer?"

"What d'you mean Bill?"

"The bottom half. It looks like we have about a dozen of these massive building-sized rotating double-barreled turrets on the top half, but pretty much nothing on the bottom half."
<...

How do resistance fighters get pregnant?

Rebel scum

Once upon a time there were three kingdoms.

They all bordered a large lake, which created trade and travel for all three kingdoms. Eventually, the ruler of the first kingdom decided that it wanted to control the whole lake. With his superior navy, he took control. In the generations to follow, his kingdom prospered. The second kingdom tried i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What instrument does Darth Vader play?

The rebel bass.

What do you call Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the rest of The Rebellion at the beginning of a rugby match?

Rebel Scrum

Irishman steps up on Mastermind, the quiz show. His chosen topic: the Irish Rebellion, 1916.

- **Quizmaster**: 'Your first question: who read the *Proclamation of Independence* from the steps of the GPO?'

- **Contestant**: 'Pass'

- **Quizmaster**: 'OK. Second question: name the Irish rebel leader born in Scotland.'

- **Contestant**: 'Pass'

- **Quizmaster**: 'Ques...

The country of Ohms is run by a brutal dictator.

Due to the suppression of their rights, the citizens of Ohms frequently rise up and attempt to storm the gates of the capital city. However, the dictator always has just the right number of mercenaries to repel the rebels and cause the survivors to disperse for a few months or so.

The dictat...

Describe yourself in three words:

I am a rebel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a very shitty joke i made up

There was once a Sith lord


He ambushed the rebels but he ran as soon as he saw his uncle


It was Kylo


Kylo ran

Best explanation of Star Wars

The story of an orphaned boy who becomes radicalised after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of rebel insurgents, and carries out a terrorist attack which kills 300'000 people.

If the British empire spoke queens English does that mean..

The Americans spoke rebels tongues.

I once gave a girl an Australian Kiss.

It's like a French kiss but down under.

credit to Rebel Wilson who I heard it from first.

What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

A rebel without a gauze

With the new Space Force I heard

America was building their very own Death Star...and the rebels are going to pay for it

John, Paul and Peter were running through a tropical jungle when...

...they heard their pursuers (a rebel group) nearby. They saw an abandoned farmhouse and entered it. There was nothing there that they could use to fight the rebels off. They only saw three empty burlap sacks. The trio entered the sacks and stayed still. The rebels entered the farmhouse and saw the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Stormtroopers are in a Space fight...

One female one male. the female decides to give the male a blowjob whle he shoots and chases after the rebels. As she unbuckled his pants she says "Is it true what they say about Stormtroopers?". "Yes" he says, as he misses all his shots and they die in the explosion of the Death Star.

What do you call a rogue toaster?

A rebel appliance.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.