I ask starbucks to write Ari as my name on every cup

That way i can say its 'Ari on a Grande'

What would you call Aristotle if he had a nice bike

Aris-throttle

(Just thought of this joke, seemed good in my head)

Like most people born under the sign of Aries...

.. I don't believe in astrology.

I have three girlfriends

Their names are Emma, Jean and Ari. I love them all.

Doctor Joke Number 1

Doctor what did you say i had? Aries or Pisces?

Cancer sir, you have Cancer.

What do you call a cat with a sports car?

A furr-ari...

[OC] Horoscope Compatibility

As per your zodiac sign, the zodiac sign you are likely to be compatible with, is as follows :

Aries - Cancer

Taurus - Cancer

Gemini - Cancer

Cancer - Cancer

Leo - Cancer

Virgo - Cancer

Libra - Cancer

Scorpio - Cancer

Sagittarius - Cance...

I beat Cancer today!

It's okay though I told her I was an Aries.

I hate people who defend their laziness with their zodiac sign!

I mean, I invited my friend into an important friend reunion but she didnt go!

I asked her what was wrong she said' "Oh, I have cancer"

Yeah im an Aries! So what?

Met a girl that's into horoscopes

Her : I'm a Sagittarius, bet that already tells you a lot about me.

Me : So according to this website, would you say you're a curious, energetic person that wants to be a part of things rather than be a spectator?

Her : Mmmhm that's me to a T

Me : Congratulations you're an Arie...

A Student in Israel

David, an American student went to Israel for a semester to study abroad at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. As part of his program he was placed with a host family for housing. An elderly gentleman named Joshua Levin welcomed him into the large home with many rooms.

As Joshua gave a tour ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Job Application for McDonalds

NAME: Kicky Pie   

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a yea...

If Jaiden Animations did anything wrong.

Just know she's sAri.

My first submission, it used to play well with my father-in-law

Two Jewish men, Ari and Hymie, were walking down a city street, whereupon they happened to pass in front of a Catholic church. The church had a big sign out in front saying:

**"Convert To Catholicism and Receive $10! Today Only!!"**

Hymie stopped and studied the sign with a contemplati...

A guy gets his bike stolen from synagogue...

He goes to see his rabbi one day and says,

"Rabbi you won't believe what happened to me! Last week someone stole my bicycle from synagogue!"

The rabbi is deeply upset by this, but after thinking for a moment he offers a solution:

"Next week come to services, sit in the fron row,...

What do you call a scared philosopher?

Ari-startled

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Her

Her: what's my sign again?

Me: *struggling to remember* what's the part of newspapers where they talk about dead people?

Her: obituaries?

Me: OH BITCH U ARIES

The only constants in life are taxes, death, and...

99c+tax AriZona Iced Tea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Japanese-mexican name his cat?

Ari-gato

The Genie

An old Jew, who owned an antique shop, was in the back room one day looking for pieces to put out front. As he worked, he picked up an old oil lamp, and began polishing it with his rag. As he worked, a giant Genie popped out and announced "You have released me from my prison! For this, I will gra...

Johnny steals a pencil

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher saying that he stole a pencil from his classmate. His father is furious.

"Johnny, you never never never never steal a pencil from a classmate. This is unacceptable. I can't believe you did this. You're grounded for two weeks. A...

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