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Appointments Jokes

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Those Zoom doctor appointments are not very good.

Especially when your doctor has you stick your finger up your own ass and then you find out that he isn't really a doctor and you are in the wrong meeting.

What time does the Asian dentist schedule their appointments?

She doesn't: the office staff schedule them on her behalf at different times throughout the day.

Why do Old People have so many Doctors appointments?

So they don't get bored in retirement.

Two men are waiting for appointments with their insurance claims adjuster.

They chat and learn they have a common bond. The first one says "My restaurant was wiped out by a fire, everything inside was wrecked."

The second one says "Mine was taken out by a flood, total loss too."

The first one thinks a bit then asks "How do you start a flood?"

Appointments...

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and want to stay fresh."The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again....

I always schedule my appointments at 9:11..

.. so I never forget.

Did you hear about the cannibalistic taxidermist who was always early to appointments?

His clock was a head.

The sperm bank in my town offers initial consultations over Zoom.

But for follow-up appointments you have to come in person.

I saw a billboard for virtual doctor's appointments with the caption 'the Dr can see you now' and I thought

What? Did they get glasses?

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Some jerk took all my money, called me fat, then stabbed me in the arm.

I hate doctor's appointments.

What time are most dental appointments scheduled for?

Tooth hurty.

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My wife just got back from her OB/GYN appointments. He told her she cannot have sex 6 weeks.

I said, "That's fine but what did your dentist say?"

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A priest is running late for an appointment

so he asks the altar boy to help him with the confessions.

"If someone comes for a confession, go to the confessional and pretend to be me. When they tell you their sin look it up on this reference book and tell them their penance"


Now that the altar boy is in charge a girl comes ...

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