I got a tenured professorship. My area of expertise is mosquito bites.

It’s one hell of a niche.

Which president had the most fun during their tenure?

Truman. He had a blast on a few occasions.

A tenured math professor handed out the blue books for an exam.

Considering he's given a variation of this test over the past 15 years, he didn't expect any surprises. As usual, all the students finished within the hour.

While grading the tests later that day, he came across an unusual response. As he opened the front cover, a $100 bill fell out to reveal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reasons why God never got tenure at the university.

1. He had only one major publication.
2. And it was in Hebrew.
3. And it had no cited references.
4. And it wasn't published in a refereed journal or even submitted for peer review.
5. And some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world but what has he...

When professors with tenure need a quick snack

Do they eat academia nuts?

How do you tell the difference between a terrorist and a tenured professor?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the saxophone get fired from his teaching job after multiple accusations of sexual assault?

he was a tenure sax

What do you call a cross between an academic and a dinosaur?

A philosoraptor.




Or... tenured.

There was once a college math professor

While he was on tenure, he decided to continue taking classes in other subject areas because they were offered to him at a discounted cost. After 40 years of teaching, the professor decided to retire. Over his time working, he had amassed enough credits to have completed 180 different major programs...

There was once a marathon runner who had become quite famous and won many awards for his records.

He was so well liked that eventually he became the president of Iran. During his tenure he managed to take over multiple countries including Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Greece, Armenia, Georgia, Iraq and Syria. They were all assimilated and became a part of Iran. The only country he didn’t manage to take ...

Political advice

A politician, Fred, is beaten in an election, and meets with the winner as part of the transition. “Bob, you beat me fair and square; the people have spoken. But in my tenure, I’ve learned a few things I offer to you now”. Fred produces 3 envelopes. “These envelopes are labeled #1, #2 and #3. Ea...

A college professor dies...

A college professor dies, and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where he is met by St. Peter.

Peter tells the professor that he can choose to go to Heaven or Hell. The Professor, somewhat confused, asks to see Hell first.

St. Peter takes him there. He sees rows of men and women typing at ke...

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