After earning his DDS; a dentist went and opened up his own practice.

He became widely known for his amazing skills, and was highly praised + recommended by every patient he ever had. One year; he was nominated for (and won) a prestigious medical award. Inscribed upon its ornate surface was his name and the specific honor: “Global Recognition of Outstanding Surgical S...

Some may say the democratic national convention is where we nominate the president

I think it’s just a political party

Donald Trump has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize

For real

I was pretty mad when they told me my flat earth movie was nominated for an award.

Golden globes

I've been nominated for president of the flat-earth society.

Not sure if I should feel flattered or if this is going to have a flipside.

r/Jokes founder nominated for the Nobel peace prize

Because they’ve created world’s most dedicated recycling community.

If I could nominate just one person to NEVER be my bartender, it would be Eminem

He insists 'you only get one shot'.

Like I'm gonna get drunk off of one shot.. pffft

3 turtles named Joe, Jeff, and Jimmy decide to go on a picnic

They pack, chips, sandwiches, and soda, and start to walk to their picnic area. The spot is 5 miles away, and it takes the turtles 10 full days to get there. Once they get there, they realize that they had left the bottle opener, and thus could not open the sodas. They nominate Jimmy to walk back an...

Just heard I've been nominated for choirboy of the year!

I've never been so touched before...

I just heard Kim Jong-Un has been nominated as the most literate person in all of North Korea

He is the Supweme Reader

Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger

are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of."

Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been ...

Why hasn't Liam Neeson been nominated for another Oscar in the last 10 years?

All his roles have been Taken

Coronavirus has a ~0.2% mortality rate among young people, so in a class of 50, if everyone got it, there would be a ~10% chance of anyone dying

I nominate Jared

I bet the bear from The Revenant would have been nominated for an Oscar...

If he was a Polar bear

Did you know Trump nominated a deaf guy to the Presidential cabinet?

Congress confirmed him without a hearing.

A native american man lived in the big city all his life.

Then one day his father dies. When he goes home to the reserve for the funeral, the people all nominate him to be the new chief, since he was a successful businessman and his father was a good chief. He accepts.

But then that autumn, they people come to him and ask him if it will be a cold w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Its terrible how so few black people get nominated for an Oscar

It's so sad they're not as talented as white people.

Oscar Isaac wasn't nominated so far despite his performances in Inside Llewyn Davis and Ex Machina

Talk about an Oscar being snubbed

A Hindu man, a Rabbi, and Lawyer are walking together on a journey. They realize they will be needing a place to stay so they stop at a lonely farmhouse. The lawyer knocks on the door.

A farmer opens the door and, seeing the three men in front of him, asks "How may I help you?"


The lawyer as the nominated spokesperson says, "We three humble travelers are seeking a place to sleep. We need no food, just a bed."


The farmer replies, "I only have two beds. One...

What are the five worst words in Washington?

The president has nominated you...

Australia

I nominate Australia for the ice bucket challenge!

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

What did the titanic say before it sank?

I nominate all of my passengers for the ALS Icebucket Challenge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A small coastal Australian church gets word the Pope is coming for a visit.

The church committee quickly gets together to discuss arrangements and the topic quickly turns to what food they will serve the Pope.

One of the nuns suggests a serve of fish would be appropriate. The committee agrees and one of the priests is nominated to source a fresh fish.

The pr...

I made my first snowman today...

It was so white it's already been nominated to Trump's Cabinet.

A man went into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if she could help the gentleman.


He said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several centuries ago, the Pope...

Several centuries ago, the Pope ruled that all Jews in must convert or leave Italy. Obviously, there was a huge outcry amongst the Jewish community. The Pope then decided,

"So be it. Send to me your greatest scholar, and we will have a religious debate. If he can beat me, then you all can sta...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone's written an album about thermometers...

I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.

If you ever feel like you can't do something, just remember...

Suicide Squad is an Oscar nominated film.

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