Nominate Jokes

Necronomicon

Knee-bone slapper I know…….

Because they’ve created world’s most dedicated recycling community.

I think it’s just a political party

Greta was nominated for the Nobel Prize, and awarded Tate the No-balls prize.

For real

He insists 'you only get one shot'.

Like I'm gonna get drunk off of one shot.. pffft

…he was actually stating a goal.

I've never been so touched before...

are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of."

Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been ... read more

I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket challenge.

All his roles have been Taken

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

Congress confirmed him without a hearing.

He is the Supweme Reader

If he was a Polar bear

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.


Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"...
The pharmacist answers "Yes".


Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
... read more

.....which has been nominated for the Golden Globe award.

Press Release:

An academy award nominated actor kicked in his neighbor's woodshed door and started a fist fight. Afterward, the actor apologized and assisted in repairs of the shed's damaged grass roof.

They pack, chips, sandwiches, and soda, and start to walk to their picnic area. The spot is 5 miles away, and it takes the turtles 10 full days to get there. Once they get there, they realize that they had left the bottle opener, and thus could not open the sodas. They nominate Jimmy to walk back an... read more

The president has nominated you...

He became widely known for his amazing skills, and was highly praised + recommended by every patient he ever had. One year; he was nominated for (and won) a prestigious medical award. Inscribed upon its ornate surface was his name and the specific honor: “Global Recognition of Outstanding Surgical S... read more

It was so white it's already been nominated to Trump's Cabinet.

All three of them were very interested in politics. In fact, they made a pact that someday, one of them would by the president of the United States.

Ralph Rock worked very hard to build relationships with the community and gain the trust of the people. Pete Paper used the press to attack his ... read more

Then one day his father dies. When he goes home to the reserve for the funeral, the people all nominate him to be the new chief, since he was a successful businessman and his father was a good chief. He accepts.

But then that autumn, they people come to him and ask him if it will be a cold w... read more

Suicide Squad is an Oscar nominated film.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if she could help the gentleman.


He said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male ... read more