I got a recommendation from Pops on a TV series to watch

After watching it I can say it indeed was a jolly good show

I bought a dachshund on a cowboy’s recommendation.

He told me to get a long little doggy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor told me I'm a sick, sick individual ...

... and he added that he'll never again take any of my recommendations for porn sites.

If you adjust your posture based on someone's recommendation,

Do you stand corrected?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Our marriage guidance counselor offers a 24 hour SMS advice service

It's difficult to decipher some of his typos and auto-corrects, but his recommendation for a suck-sex-full relationship was spot on!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pickled Penis

An attractive young lady had recently lost her husband to illness, and while she wasn’t ready to engage in another relationship quite yet, she was certainly missing sex. So, to fill this need, she decided to visit a sex shop and purchase a toy.

As she has never in her life used a toy, she ask...

An employee who was being let go for poor performance asked his boss to help him out with a letter of recommendation

The boss didn't want to refuse, but he was too honest to lie. So he wrote: "You will be very fortunate to get John to work for you!"

I need a recommendation for a good breakfast wine.

Something that would compliment baloney pancakes - or a nice Cheetos frittata.

(Bonus points if I can make it myself in the bathtub.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's your favorite one liner in 40 characters or less?

Want to embroider something fun into my jacket pocket, but only have 40 characters. As a big fan of stand up, was trying to fit a homage to my favorites with something from Mitch Hedberg or Demitri Martin in there... but alas, they're slightly too long. So figured I'd come to the experts here for...

Sam walks into a bar on his birthday

It was Sam’s birthday, he just turned 18, finally a man (Sam lives in the Uk). In the excitement of being able to finally buy a pint from the bar without having to worry about being asked for ID, he approaches the woman who was bartending.

Sam, having a lack of knowledge with drinks, asks the...

The recommendation to self-isolate by governments feels like we were all given a group project and so far the progress seems similar to a typical group project.

The minority is doing most of the work while everyone else does whatever they want.

Applied for a job today and they asked for three letters of recommendation

So I replied "Easy! R, E and K!"

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head ofhuman resources.

Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."
The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter that next day. The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk. Itread, "Jonathan Peters worked for our compan...

Wanna watch a movie with my girlfriend & need recommendations...

... on how to get a girlfriend.

My friend wanted a scary movie recommendation

I suggested An Inconvenient Truth

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position

as a sales representative for a large firm.

The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales...

As per the doctor's recommendation, I have decided to rid my diet of trans fat.

Goodbye Tumblr!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my neighbor for some new porn site recommendations.

Apparently, he didn't stay up to date since we installed our CCTV.

(LONG) Man walks into bakery, picks out a few loaves of bread, then heads to check-out.

(been a while since I've seen this repost, bear with me)
The clerk is a healthy young lady, and she starts ringing him up. He's been wanting to branch out in his breakfast routine, and asks if she has any recommendations. She points to the top shelf behind her, and says that she really likes th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.