There was an eating competition between an American, a British, and a French. Whoever could eat 10 large pizzas by himself would win the competion and make his country proud.
Everybody was betting on the American, Johnny. Let's just say the guy had a good appetite. When Johnny was trying to ...
My wife and kids are leaving me because of my obsession with acting like a horse race announcer.
“And they’re off..”
A man was driving down highway 407 when a radio announcer said: “be warned of a car driving the wrong way along the highway”
The man, peeking out the window, scoffs to himself as he thinks “just one? All these idiots are going the wrong way!”
What did Santa bring the naughty soccer announcer?
[gun goes off]
[every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race]
ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Couples coffee (OC WIP)
A priest, a marriage counselor, and a notorious playboy are all at of a romantic breakfast for couples event when the announcer gets on stage and pulls back a curtain to reveal a coffee-making robot with hundreds of robotic arms. He announces that this robot automatically makes coffee for both the p...
I was the announcer at the women’s day expo..
“All the women with fashion sense and business sense sit in the first row. All the women with one or the other sit in the second row.” I announced.
“What row do you sit in if you have neither?” A perplexed woman asked.
I answered her “LuLaRoe.”