What do you call the security guards working outside a Samsung mobile store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

Everyone discouraged Sam from singing

Samsung anyway.

(not my joke but it was too funny for me not to share)

Everyone told Sam not to sing

But Samsung anyway

Today I become one of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

A job of guard at the Samsung store has always been my dream.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent study shows that Samsung smartphones are now the most popular hand held device in the world.

For the first time, penis has slipped to Number 2.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three tech owners are sitting in a room together.

The first, the owner of Samsung, says “I call my phones Androids because I named it after my penis, because it’s a machine!”

The second, Steve Jobs, said, “Me too! I named it Apple because girls like to suck my penis like a candied apple!

Bill Gates slowly stood up, and quietly left th...

I just moved to Seoul to work for Samsung

It is my biggest Korea move yet.

Why was the Samsung employee astonished?

Because I swallowed a tablet without water.

These Samsung Foldable phones seem to be breaking everywhere

They are breaking left right and centre

A man named Tenison March was filmed exiting the bureau of births, deaths and marriages.

Footage shows that seconds later, another man named “Samsung Galaxy-9 Jr” (formerly Allen Frank) was seen throwing wild punches at March.

March, an ex-Green Beret, was able to fend off the attack until police arrived on the scene to make an arrest.

Galaxy-9 has been charged with batter...

Just bought the new Samsung, because it has a panorama function...

Now, I can take a picture of my wife.

Timed Gas

Timed Gas

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was starin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's Hitler's favourite phone?

Samsung Galaxy SS

I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.

So this famous singer was doing a giveaway...

The prize was a tablet a brand new phone and 1 minute of singing on stage with this famous singer. So a girl named Jess signed her brother up for the giveaway knowing full well he hates crowds and technology but sure enough he won the contest and he was forced to go on stage with this singer. Boy oh...

What do Germans call the new samsung phone?

Zee flip.

Sam was a struggling singer

Sam wanted the new iPhone but he had no money for that so samsung

I work security at a Samsung store.

I guess you could say I’m... a gaurdian of the galaxy!

I tried swallowing a tablet without water before

And I have to say it wasn’t easy or even the best of decisions. Everyone at the Samsung store seems to agree.

So i was watching p*rn last night and accidently pressed cast to tv, it found a samsung tv and started steaming...

I dont have a samsung tv in my house.

Samsung...

...and he was bad.

A new line of Samsung washing machines was launched today

16 injured

Samsung Announces a Foldable Phone

weird flex but ok

Samsung recently unveiled “The Wall,” the World’s First Modular MicroLED 146-inch TV

They were really delighted to hear that the President was gonna be their first customer.

How often does an American President buy a Wall from South Koreans to keep Mexicans away?

My favorite stereo-types I know are asian ones.

Sony, Toshiba, Samsung, etc

I was going to make a joke about the Samsung S8...

...but its a little bit edgy

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The priest and the rabbi

Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy Tablet










PRIEST AND RABBI











Priest and a Rabbi



A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turne...

Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones....

Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Samsung names their next phone the Galaxy SX it may send off the wrong impression

But fuck it.

Samsung

He had a good voice.

When I was at the immigration office, I interrupted an officer answering his phone and told him "Ship them back where they came from. They have a tendency to explode". He arrested me for being Islamophobic.

As I was dragged out, I was yelling "I was talking about your Samsung Galaxy Note 7!"

Pokémon Go

Yesterday evening my little brother came home all sad and angry. I asked him what happened and apparently a group of kids was mad at him because he beat their gym at the park nearby.

“Don’t you dare to come here ever again or we’ll beat you down!” they threatened.

I took my phone and w...

The new Samsung Galaxy S8 was just announced.

I hear it's the bomb.

Samsungs Galaxy Note 7 is really cost effective

You get alot of bang for your buck.

I support the CIA.

I bought a Samsung tv.

My wife asked why I carry a gun around the house.

I told her: fear of the CIA. She laughed, I laughed, the Samsung TV laughed, I shot the TV

You guys remember the note 7?

I mean, I get that Samsung wanted to blow away the competition, but I didn't think they would take it seriously.

It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones.

Well, they’re going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.

The store tried to charge me $500 for a Samsung Galaxy knockoff.

I said "This is Huawei robbery!"

Android lets you use "Lumos" for the flashlight, "Silencio" for the notifications...

but not "Incendio". That is a Samsung exclusive.

We have one of the recalled Samsung washers. But, don't feel sorry for us...

We're going to have a blast!

My wife got angry when I said "Samsung"...

Apparently that was the wrong answer to: "What oven should I buy to match my cooking style?"

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

Samsung left the stage with one final note

It made social media blow up.

Samsung should focus their marketing toward criminals

They could completely monopolize the burner phone industry.

I heard Samsung is making a feature film

They're calling it Total Recall.

Samsung wanted to boost their sales

So they made them explode

iPhone vs Samsung

iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We'r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm suing samsung.

I bought a Fucking Note 7 for my wife and it stil didn't explode.

It's a shame that Samsung cancelled production of the Note 7...

but at least they went out with a bang.

We didn't start the fire!

Samsung did.

Samsung sold me the wrong phone.

I bought the S7, but apparently they gave me the C4.

Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof?

It can't catch fire underwater... I think.

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