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What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie

Total recall

What do you call the securityguards outside the Samsung store?

The Guardians of the galaxy

what do you call a security guard at a Samsung store

"A guardian of the galaxys"

my 11yo told me this one yesterday, and i thought it needed to be shared with the world 🤣

A mother and her 2 daughters are at a cemetery

One of the kids is curious and asks her mom “Mommy, why am I named Rose?”

Their mom replies “Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head.”

Her second daughter asks “Mommy, why am I named Daisy?”

Her mom replies “Because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent study shows that Samsung smartphones are now the most popular hand held device in the world.

For the first time, penis has slipped to Number 2.

Everyone told Sam not to sing..

But Samsung anyway…

Why was the Samsung employee astonished?

Because I swallowed a tablet without water.

Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones....

Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.

I think Samsung has messed up with my new phone's shipment.

I had booked a Galaxy Note ''S7'', not C4.

I just moved to Seoul to work for Samsung

It is my biggest Korea move yet.

I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.

Just saw on the news that Apple is suing Samsung:

They claim that the Galaxy S3 has copied concepts used on the iPhone 6.

iPhone vs Samsung

iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We'r...

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

So i was watching p*rn last night and accidently pressed cast to tv, it found a samsung tv and started steaming...

I dont have a samsung tv in my house.

What do Germans call the new samsung phone?

Zee flip.


He had a good voice.

I just tried out the Samsung Gear-VR with my Note 7.

It was mind-blowing.

Samsung Announces a Foldable Phone

weird flex but ok

My girlfriend is like the Samsung Note7

She blows up at any given moment.

I work security at a Samsung store.

I guess you could say I’m... a gaurdian of the galaxy!

The store tried to charge me $500 for a Samsung Galaxy knockoff.

I said "This is Huawei robbery!"

Samsung sold me the wrong phone.

I bought the S7, but apparently they gave me the C4.

We have one of the recalled Samsung washers. But, don't feel sorry for us...

We're going to have a blast!

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

My wife got angry when I said "Samsung"...

Apparently that was the wrong answer to: "What oven should I buy to match my cooking style?"

Samsung is permanently stopping production of the Galaxy Note7.

At least it went out with a bang.

Samsung Gn7 user here. despite all the abuse they're getting I was surprised that it's actually a really great phone

I mean the battery life alone just blew me away

Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof?

It can't catch fire underwater... I think.

I heard Samsung is making a feature film

They're calling it Total Recall.

I was going to make a joke about the Samsung S8...

...but its a little bit edgy

A new line of Samsung washing machines was launched today

16 injured

Samsung should focus their marketing toward criminals

They could completely monopolize the burner phone industry.

Samsungs Galaxy Note 7 is really cost effective

You get alot of bang for your buck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three tech owners are sitting in a room together.

The first, the owner of Samsung, says “I call my phones Androids because I named it after my penis, because it’s a machine!”

The second, Steve Jobs, said, “Me too! I named it Apple because girls like to suck my penis like a candied apple!

Bill Gates slowly stood up, and quietly left th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Samsung names their next phone the Galaxy SX it may send off the wrong impression

But fuck it.

The new Samsung Galaxy S8 was just announced.

I hear it's the bomb.

Samsung left the stage with one final note

It made social media blow up.

Have you heard how busy the Samsung customer care lines are?

Their phones are blowin' up!

Samsung wanted to boost their sales

So they made them explode

The iPhone doesn't have a headphone jack and the Samsung battery is exploding...

It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election!

Did you know that Samsung also manufacture hangar ships?

Must be because of all their ports left Open.

(l8 to the party i know)

Samsung developed an infinite space hard drive.

Only problem is they're still formatting it.

The US government is taking Samsung to court.

They're being charged with a fault in battery.

Timed Gas

Timed Gas

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was starin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm suing samsung.

I bought a Fucking Note 7 for my wife and it stil didn't explode.

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