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what do you call a security guard at a Samsung store

"A guardian of the galaxys"

my 11yo told me this one yesterday, and i thought it needed to be shared with the world 🤣
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Samsung Announces a Foldable Phone

weird flex but ok
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Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones....

Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.
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My girlfriend is like the Samsung Note7

She blows up at any given moment.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent study shows that Samsung smartphones are now the most popular hand held device in the world.

For the first time, penis has slipped to Number 2.

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.
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Just saw on the news that Apple is suing Samsung:

They claim that the Galaxy S3 has copied concepts used on the iPhone 6.
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I just tried out the Samsung Gear-VR with my Note 7.

It was mind-blowing.
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Why was the Samsung employee astonished?

Because I swallowed a tablet without water.
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iPhone vs Samsung

iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We'r...
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What do you call the securityguards outside the Samsung store?

The Guardians of the galaxy
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I think Samsung has messed up with my new phone's shipment.

I had booked a Galaxy Note ''S7'', not C4.
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What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie

Total recall
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I downloaded Chrome on my Samsung Smart Fridge.

It became an oven.
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Samsung sold me the wrong phone.

I bought the S7, but apparently they gave me the C4.
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I just moved to Seoul to work for Samsung

It is my biggest Korea move yet.
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Samsung is permanently stopping production of the Galaxy Note7.

At least it went out with a bang.
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What do Germans call the new samsung phone?

Zee flip.
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Samsung Gn7 user here. despite all the abuse they're getting I was surprised that it's actually a really great phone

I mean the battery life alone just blew me away
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Samsung should focus their marketing toward criminals

They could completely monopolize the burner phone industry.
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The store tried to charge me $500 for a Samsung Galaxy knockoff.

I said "This is Huawei robbery!"
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Samsung

He had a good voice.
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We have one of the recalled Samsung washers. But, don't feel sorry for us...

We're going to have a blast!
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Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof?

It can't catch fire underwater... I think.
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I heard Samsung is making a feature film

They're calling it Total Recall.
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My wife got angry when I said "Samsung"...

Apparently that was the wrong answer to: "What oven should I buy to match my cooking style?"
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Samsung recently unveiled “The Wall,” the World’s First Modular MicroLED 146-inch TV

They were really delighted to hear that the President was gonna be their first customer.

How often does an American President buy a Wall from South Koreans to keep Mexicans away?
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A new line of Samsung washing machines was launched today

16 injured
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Samsung announces they will sell refurbished Note 7's

New name: Galaxy 451
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The new Samsung Galaxy S8 was just announced.

I hear it's the bomb.
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I was going to make a joke about the Samsung S8...

...but its a little bit edgy
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Samsung names their next phone the Galaxy SX it may send off the wrong impression

But fuck it.

Samsung left the stage with one final note

It made social media blow up.
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Did you know that Samsung also manufacture hangar ships?

Must be because of all their ports left Open.

(l8 to the party i know)
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My new band decided to name ourselves after Samsung..

We're the exploding notes.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm suing samsung.

I bought a Fucking Note 7 for my wife and it stil didn't explode.

Samsung wanted to boost their sales

So they made them explode
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Samsung developed an infinite space hard drive.

Only problem is they're still formatting it.
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Samsung

But what did Sam sing?!
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The iPhone doesn't have a headphone jack and the Samsung battery is exploding...

It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election!
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Apple more profitable than Samsung still in 2015

Guess you could say they definitely out cell the competition.
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ISIS is taking back territory after a surprise turn of events

Their new partnership with Samsung is quickly paying off
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It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones.

Well, they’re going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.
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A mother and her 2 daughters are at a cemetery

One of the kids is curious and asks her mom “Mommy, why am I named Rose?”

Their mom replies “Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head.”

Her second daughter asks “Mommy, why am I named Daisy?”

Her mom replies “Because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell o...
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If someone says "Someone in this room has a bomb," I can't rule myself out as a suspect.

- Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note7
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Timed Gas

Timed Gas

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was starin...
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Samsungs Galaxy Note 7 is really cost effective

You get alot of bang for your buck.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three tech owners are sitting in a room together.

The first, the owner of Samsung, says “I call my phones Androids because I named it after my penis, because it’s a machine!”

The second, Steve Jobs, said, “Me too! I named it Apple because girls like to suck my penis like a candied apple!

Bill Gates slowly stood up, and quietly left th...

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