I have a Linux joke...

But some of you would not apt-get it.

Daddy, what are clouds made of?

Linux servers, mostly.

Tech Joke: Changing a light bulb

A window user, a Linux user and an apple user all need to change a lightbulb in their respective homes. They split up and the windows and apple user meet back up 5 minutes later

Windows User: Did you get it fixed?

Apple user: No, it can't be cganged so I need to find a new house; how a...

A Linux user, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar....

I know because they told everybody there

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy.


"I can't serve you that"


"There you go".

Who Has The Highest Rank in the Linux Military?

The kernel.

Why are linux geeks very introvertish ?

Because they never get out of their shell

What is a Linux user's favorite game?

sudo ku

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Linux admin say to his racoon friend?

I am root.

Why astronauts use Linux

Because you can't open windows in space

Why is learning linux stupid?

All of the lessons are full of sudo science

What do you call Linux' bodyguards with no balls?


How do you copy in Linux?

You press Ctrl and C at t-

\^C Process aborted with exit 0

How would you spot a linux user?

Don't worry they will tell you themselves!

Why can't you eliminate Satan from Linux?

Because 666 isn't executable.

Did you hear about the herpes program for Linux?

It's open sores

Most appliances use a Linux based OS

But washing machines have windows

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 operating systems walk into a bar

The first says "I'm Windows. The most popular, everyone likes me and I don't mess about. I'll have a pint of lager."

The second says "I'm Mac OS. I'm the favourite of artists and hipsters, and I could never settle for a boring lager like Windows. Give me your hoppiest artisanal IPA!"


New user: "How come my new printer doesn't work in Linux?" Linus: "You need the right driver."

"My chauffeur's outside."

I think a lot of linux package handling systems are not good enough for the task.

But the one with Ubuntu is apt.

How do you get the most recent posts in r/linux?

Sort by **GNU**.

[Computers] Why do Linux admins always take Xanax?

Because they're constantly battling their daemons.

How would you know if someone uses Linux-GNU?

Don't worry, they will tell you

What do you call a group of Linux users?

*Club Penguin.*

How to make Gnu/Linux run Photoshop?

You serve it WINE.

GNU/Linux can't run Photoshop..

unless you offer it WINE.
Else you will remain stuck with a GIMPed system.

Why do vampire's use linux?

Because they don't like windows in their house. Ba^Dum^Tss

I just donated some money to the maintainers of a Linux distribution derived from Red Hat

\*tips fedora\*

So a network specialist comes up to me and says "do you wanna here a joke?"

There was a Linux error

Q: What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan? (Found on /r/linux)

A: Open the other end

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This really happened to me this morning.

I've been getting calls from the 'Windows Support' scammers for months now.

At some point I realized the easiest way to get them to hang up was telling them I only use Linux.

This morning, I got another call. This honestly happened just like this.

**Them:** "Hello, this i...

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