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Linux Jokes

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy.

"ephedrine?"

"I can't serve you that"

"sudoephedrine"

"There you go".

A Linux user, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar....

I know because they told everybody there

Tech Joke: Changing a light bulb

A window user, a Linux user and an apple user all need to change a lightbulb in their respective homes. They split up and the windows and apple user meet back up 5 minutes later

Windows User: Did you get it fixed?

Apple user: No, it can't be cganged so I need to find a new house; how a...

How would you spot a linux user?

Don't worry they will tell you themselves!

Why are linux geeks very introvertish ?

Because they never get out of their shell

Daddy, what are clouds made of?

Linux servers, mostly.

Who Has The Highest Rank in the Linux Military?

The kernel.

What is a Linux user's favorite game?

sudo ku

I have a Linux joke...

But some of you would not apt-get it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 operating systems walk into a bar

The first says "I'm Windows. The most popular, everyone likes me and I don't mess about. I'll have a pint of lager."

The second says "I'm Mac OS. I'm the favourite of artists and hipsters, and I could never settle for a boring lager like Windows. Give me your hoppiest artisanal IPA!"

T...

Why can't you eliminate Satan from Linux?

Because 666 isn't executable.

New York City is like Linux

* Spend the first year re-learning how to perform basic tasks
* Spend the rest of your lifetime claiming how much better it is
* Bad drivers

Source: @ chromakode on Twitter

TIL The Kremlin IT department exclusively uses Linux.

Turns out everyone in the Kremlin has problems with Windows.

Why do astronauts use Linux?

Because you can't open windows in space.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saying Java is good because it works on Windows, Linux and Mac OS is like saying...

Anal sex is good because it works on men, women, and animals.

What did the Dalek say when it shot the Linux user?

xterm-inate!

Why is learning linux stupid?

All of the lessons are full of sudo science

Did you hear about the herpes program for Linux?

It's open sores

[Computers] Why do Linux admins always take Xanax?

Because they're constantly battling their daemons.

Breaking news: Yevgeny Prigozhin of the Wagner Group has installed Linux on his computer.

He's trying to stay away from Windows.

What's the cutest Linux distribution?

UwUbuntu.

What do you call Linux' bodyguards with no balls?

Unix

I think a lot of linux package handling systems are not good enough for the task.

But the one with Ubuntu is apt.

What do you call a group of Linux users?

*Club Penguin.*

New user: "How come my new printer doesn't work in Linux?" Linus: "You need the right driver."

"My chauffeur's outside."

I just donated some money to the maintainers of a Linux distribution derived from Red Hat

\*tips fedora\*

How to make Gnu/Linux run Photoshop?

You serve it WINE.

Why do vampire's use linux?

Because they don't like windows in their house. Ba^Dum^Tss

What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

How would you know if someone uses Linux-GNU?

Don't worry, they will tell you

So a network specialist comes up to me and says "do you wanna here a joke?"

There was a Linux error

What is the preferred OS in russia?

Linux, because they are afraid of Windows.

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