I have a Linux joke...

But some of you would not apt-get it.

Why do astronauts use Linux?

Because you can't open Windows in space.

Daddy, what are clouds made of?

Linux servers, mostly.

Who Has The Highest Rank in the Linux Military?

The kernel.

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy.

"ephedrine?"

"I can't serve you that"

"sudoephedrine"

"There you go".

A Linux user, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar....

I know because they told everybody there

How would you spot a linux user?

Don't worry they will tell you themselves!

Why can't you eliminate Satan from Linux?

Because 666 isn't executable.

Why is learning linux stupid?

All of the lessons are full of sudo science

How do you copy in Linux?

You press Ctrl and C at t-

\^C Process aborted with exit 0

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Linux admin say to his racoon friend?

I am root.

What do you call Linux' bodyguards with no balls?

Unix

Did you hear about the herpes program for Linux?

It's open sores

What is a Linux user's favorite game?

sudo ku

Why are linux geeks very introvertish ?

Because they never get out of their shell

Tech Joke: Changing a light bulb

A window user, a Linux user and an apple user all need to change a lightbulb in their respective homes. They split up and the windows and apple user meet back up 5 minutes later

Windows User: Did you get it fixed?

Apple user: No, it can't be cganged so I need to find a new house; how a...

New user: "How come my new printer doesn't work in Linux?" Linus: "You need the right driver."

"My chauffeur's outside."

Most appliances use a Linux based OS

But washing machines have windows

The Chinese premier was spotted selling people a popular Linux terminal app on the beach.

Xi sells C shells by the seashore.

I think a lot of linux package handling systems are not good enough for the task.

But the one with Ubuntu is apt.

How does a Linux user evolve Bonsly?

sudo woodo

[Computers] Why do Linux admins always take Xanax?

Because they're constantly battling their daemons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saying Java is good because it works on Windows, Linux and Mac OS is like saying...

Anal sex is good because it works on men, women, and animals.

How would you know if someone uses Linux-GNU?

Don't worry, they will tell you

Why do vampire's use linux?

Because they don't like windows in their house. Ba^Dum^Tss

What do you call a group of Linux users?

*Club Penguin.*

How to make Gnu/Linux run Photoshop?

You serve it WINE.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 operating systems walk into a bar

The first says "I'm Windows. The most popular, everyone likes me and I don't mess about. I'll have a pint of lager."

The second says "I'm Mac OS. I'm the favourite of artists and hipsters, and I could never settle for a boring lager like Windows. Give me your hoppiest artisanal IPA!"

T...

GNU/Linux can't run Photoshop..

unless you offer it WINE.
Else you will remain stuck with a GIMPed system.

What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

Q: What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan? (Found on /r/linux)

A: Open the other end

So a network specialist comes up to me and says "do you wanna here a joke?"

There was a Linux error

I just donated some money to the maintainers of a Linux distribution derived from Red Hat

\*tips fedora\*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three programmers were condemned to death by....

Three tech gurus were sentenced to be executed. They were to be executed by a century old guillotine. The first guy, a microsoft engineer is secured at the bottom of the frame. The blade is released but slows down gradually and stops a few inches before the nape of his neck.

Considering it as...

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