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Ds Jokes

Why are there two ds in Reddit?

The second one is a repost.

The Nintendo DS' cheaper version was the DS Lite. A cheaper Nintendo Switch would be

The Nintendo Lite-Switch

Is it a good idea to have multiple PhDs?

To a certain degree.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't black people get their PhDs?

They can't get past their masters.

A group of crows were receiving their PhDs at their college's commencement ceremony when the police showed up.

They all were arrested for third-degree murder.

Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar.

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar...

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. Later, a D comes ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't believe how low the standards have gotten with porn majors at University

They're passing everyone with several D's these days.

I'm okay with my wife selling her body to pay for college.

But I don't know why she needs three PhDs

A six-year-old girl runs into her backyard and sees her neighbor raking leaves...

She runs to him and says proudly “My mommy taught me all about politics today!”

“That’s great! So are you a Republican or a Democrat?” he asks.

“A demmycrat!”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, demmycrats believe in helping the poor. So they take some money from everyone and give it ...

Alex was being interviewed for a job at the US Mint

Alex was being interviewed for a job at the US mint. The interviewer looks over his resume, and notices something strange. “Alex, you have 3 PhDs and you had an internship at the White House. Why do you want to work at the US mint?”

“Well sir, i would make a lot of money here”

What does your Mom have in common with the word "padded"?

They both have three ds in them.

Started high school with straight As. Ended it with a boyfriend.

I went from earning As to getting Ds.

How do pirates measure rope?

In yarr'ds.

They are serious!

A boy is getting all Ds and Fs in math so his parents send him to Catholic school. On his first report card, his parents are shocked to see their son getting straight As. When his parents ask him why, he says, “Well, when I went into the chapel and saw that guy nailed to a plus sign, I knew they wer...

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So there was this wasp who lives in a jungle. (long)

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would g...

How many times is this guy going to fall down the stairs?

Until he sticks the landing. Full story---> I could hardly sleep last night because two of my tenants were up all night drinking and taking their medicine. As he was trying to take a cab to his doctors appointment, he fell down the stairs. I didnt want to move him in case his head or neck was ...

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Marines' Early Morning Drill

A drill instructor had just been assigned a bunch of new recruits that he had to help train and introduce into the Marine Corps.

On the first morning after moving into the barracks, the DI woke everyone up at 0430, and ordered them to take a cold shower to break them in. Then, after 8 minutes...

A Nobel laureate college professor gets a flat tire...

in front of a mental institution. He pulls over and begins to change the tire. After jacking up the car, he takes off the hubcap and removes the nuts. As he turns to get the spare tire, he knocks over the hubcap and spills the nuts down a nearby sewer drain.

"Great. What do I do now?" he sa...

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Uranus ( long )

Originally from Buck Buchanan 9 i just had to share) let the Uranus jokes come forth.............anyway....

“It's my understanding that the first six probes were recklessly plunged into Uranus at such excessively high speeds these early attempts only produced massively dense clouds of methane...

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The Wasp

There once was a wasp, he wasn't very happy with his life in the hive. One day he decided to go back to high school. After his senior year he graduated with flying colours, a 4.0 GPA, honours with distinction and 4 scholarships. After high school he applies to Harvard. Of course, he gets accepted an...

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