UPJOKE
yearxvcardinaljunemarchaprilnovember55tiberius51fifteensixfiveeightnine

15 Jokes

what do you call a guy with 15 and a half rabbits up his bum?

Kyle. My names Kyle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife of 15 years has just told me she has been faking her orgasms every time we've had sex.

I can't believe she lied to me, not once, but twice.

If a woman says she'll be ready in 15 mins she will be...

No need to remind her every half hour

A couple of counterfeiters made a mistake one time and ended up with a batch of $15 bills

One of them says "We gotta get rid of these things. We'll go to Florida. I know a little town there. They're so dumb they won't know a thing."

So off they go. Soon they arrive at a gas station and buy some gas. The guy at the counter looks a little simpleminded.

"Hey can you break a 1...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady on the bus next to me this morning was sneezing, about every 3 minutes...

Each time she sneezed, her eyes rolled back, she gave a moan and shuddered.
Curiosity got the better of me after about 15 minutes, so I asked her if she was alright. She said, "Yes". Then she explained she had a very rare condition, whereby every time she sneezed, she had an orgasm!
I asked if...

Amber Heard's net worth is $2.5 million and she now has to pay Johnny Depp $15 million...

Yeah, she's forever going to be in Depp!

A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.

I decided to cheer myself up -- I adopted a puppy, and I've never been happier!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy giving a lecture, on the paranormal.

Guy: "How many people believe in Ghosts?"

About 60 hands go up.

"How many have seen a ghost?"

About 15 hands go up.

"How many have spoken to a ghost?"

3 hands go up.

"How many have had sex with a ghost?"

One hand goes up, Paddy right at the back.
...

Every year on April 15…

…the IRS pays its taxes to Chuck Norris

15% of women admit to having used vibrators.

The other 85% said they bought them new.

Police pulls over a car driving 15 mph in a 70 mph speed zone

It was an older woman driving. He asks her why she was driving slow.

She says - "I saw a sign that said I-15, so I thought the speed limit was 15 mph"

Officer - "That is the sign for the Interstate 15. The speed limit is 70 mph on this road"

Then he notices 3 other older ladies ...

I lent my friend $15,000 for plastic surgery...

Now I don't know what he looks like.

Banned from the grocery store

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

My boss calls me, “The Computer” but it has nothing to do with my intelligence.

I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon

... when suddenly they started to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.

Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my country anyway”

Biden throws out an AR-15 and says “don’t worry I’ve got too much of that in my...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can I improve this joke I wrote?

A man one day hears a buzzing noise from the spare bedroom in his house and when he goes to open the door it's locked. His wife walks out 15 minutes later looking very relaxed and he asks her what that noise was.

She tells him its the new vibrator she bought and its amazing! The next day the ...

Parking

A lady walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the lady hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man escapes from a prison where he had been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he was gone, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spen...

Listen…did you know falcons only live 12-15 yrs? That means every falcon alive right now was born in the 21st century which makes them…

Millennium Falcons

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.

When the dad gets home the parr...

Scientists say we only use 15% of our brain

I'm wondering what we do with the remaining 65%?

Vladimir Putin confronts his speechwriter after giving a speech.

“You said my speech would be 15 minutes long, but I had to speak for 45 minutes!” Putin exclaims.

His speechwriter replies: “Mr President, I gave you three copies.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman joins a country club

A woman joins a country club, and when she hears some guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a....

Mikey loves tractors

It's coming up to little Mikey's 5th birthday and his dad asks him what he'd like as a present. "TRACTOR" says Mikey. Makes sense, thinks his dad, kids love tractors. So he buys him a little toy tractor and Mikey is over the moon, takes the little tractor with him everywhere.

Coming up to Mik...

Just got off a 15 hour flight from Chernobyl

and boy are these arms legs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Airbus 380 is flying across the Atlantic

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a jet fighter appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

’About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s...

A 15 year old boy with long hair wants a car when he turns 16

His grandmother is very rich, and tells him she will buy him a car on one condition: he cuts his hair. The boy is upset, as he loves having a full head of long hair.

He thinks of a loophole for days, and finally comes up with one. His grandmother is a deeply religious woman.

He comes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy was walking home from school when he passed by a stray cat.

The cat was trying to drink water that had spilt on the tarmac near it. The boy saw that the tarmac was dirty, and was worried that the cat would get sick if it kept drinking the water. He started to slowly walk towards the cat while taking out his water bottle from his school bag. Once he got close...

A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine...

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post ...

The 15-dollar bill

The local barber was showing the guys in his barber shop a novelty 15 dollar bill he had bought in a novelty store.

They were all laughing at how phony it looked, when one of the guys commented that his dumb brother was heading their way, and that he was dumb enough to think their bill was a ...

My faithful old shredder has finally given up the ghost after 15 years without a single problem.

I'm tearing up here.

That takes GUTS!

A General from the Army, Air Force, Marines and an Admiral all get together to decide which branch has the most guts.

The Army General says watch this."Private, Go stand in the middle of that shooting range while I commense a firing drill and don't move.""Yes, Sir!"replies the private as he ...

Sisters

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 15 mi.’

He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.

Soon, he sees another sign tha...

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. (NSFW)

A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.

At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."

Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her seco...

pie

In Jamaica you can buy a steak and kidney pie for $1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for $1.60 and an apple pie for $2.15.



In St Kitts and Nevis, a steak and kidney pie will cost you $2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is $1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for $1.95.



...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Crocodile.

A multi-millionaire, living in Australia, decided to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors... He also invited Brian, the only native Australian in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool, in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time, drinking, ...

Chinese takeout: $25.00, Gas to get there: $2.50

Getting home to find they’ve forgotten one of your dishes: Riceless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a 25-inch long penis

goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long.

"Doctor," he asks in total frustration, "Is there any way you can shorten it?"

The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do...

A man goes to see his doctor.

The doctor asks him what the problem is.
The man says, "I'm really not sure how to describe it. I guess the best way is for you to hold your stethoscope to my thigh and have a listen."
The doctor holds his stethoscope to the man's thigh and hears a little voice say, " Hey man, can I borrow $2...

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage.

(Disclaimer: I believe this is OC because I heard it in Cantonese and I've translated it, so also, apologies for bad English)

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage. At gunpoint, he forces the two to sit on chairs facing the opposite way, back to each other,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a brothel

John: I've been coming here for a while and it's becoming a bit routine. Have you got something different to try?

Madame: Well we do have a girl with a glass eye...she takes it out a let's you fuck her in the eye socket

John: OMG that's crazy, I'll have to give it a try

15 mi...

King Charles has a realistic chance of breaking one of Queen Elizabeths most famous records:

The record number of 15 prime ministers during her reign.

What do you call ice that is chilled to -273.15°C?

Still water.

Obit

This printed in a Texas newspaper :

The oldest cowboy in Texas died this week at the age of 106.

On his birthday he was asked his secret to longevity and he said that for the past 50 years he has sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.

He left behind 8 childr...

Jim and Ted were let go after 15 years working at the bra factory so they headed down to the local Employment office…

There they each filled out some forms. They both had worked the same quality assurance positions on the line down at the “Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder Inc.”. Afterwards they each met with a jobs counselor to try and find new employment they could embark on. As the final step they met individua...

Steve's Place.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant called "Steve's Place", and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket; it seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket...

What's the difference between a university student and a beggar?

15 years

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

two guys are out golfing and they realize they have to go to the bathroom

Two guys are out golfing when one of the golfers turns the other one it says "oh man I got to go to the bathroom."

The other one looks at him and says "yeah me too. But you better go first, I'm going to be in there a while."

So the first guy runs across the green goes into the Outhouse...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor Irish Family

A poor Irish family lives on a farm and they rely on their single cow for income.

One morning, the father walks outside to find their cow dead.

"There is nothing that could help get us out of poverty now," says the dad as he shoots himself.

The mom walks outside and sees the dad...

Tea is an evil substance. It is much more dangerous than beer.

I discovered this last night. I drank 15 beers up until 3 am in the pub while my wife was just at home drinking tea.

You should have seen how mad and violent she was when I got home. She threw the chair at me and kept screaming at the top of her lungs. On the other hand, I was quiet and peac...

Misunderstanding

An old man with hearing problems crashed his car into a very expensive automobile. The owner of the expensive automobile jumps out and confronts the old man and says “Give me $10,000 cash or I will beat you to a pulp!” The old man replies, “Woah wait buddy, I don’t have that much money but let me ...

Married 15 years and every date is just like the first.

She still charges me 80 for a date . Or 60 for a quick visit.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test aga...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to see a hooker...

I asked a hooker: i only have have $0.25 what can I get?

She told me to fuck off and go fist myself.

15 minutes later i went back to the hooker.

She said wtf you again? what do you want this time?

I said well duh, i came to pay the 25¢

Six Supreme Court justices, floating face-down in a river

All 6 conservative members of the SCOTUS got stranded in the woods with only a giant suitcase and a couple of paddles. Then they came to a raging river- it was fast-moving, wide and rocky but only waist deep. They began to bicker over how to get across. Kavanaugh, Thomas, and Gorsuch said "We are st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man went into confession crying, and told the priest:

“Forgive me father for I have sinned”.

“What have you done?” asked the priest.

“A few weeks ago I went to the library. I remained there until closing time and when I was about to go home, rain started pouring down. It was so intense I had to wait in the library. I had waited for a wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My cousin was hospitalized after shoving 15 plastic horses up his rectum.

Doctors described his condition as stable.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's true that carrots are great for memory.

Buddy of mine shoved one up my ass 15 years ago and I still remember it to this day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to Las Vegas to gamble and he loses all his money.

He doesn't even have enough for a cab, but he flagged one down anyway. He explained to the driver that he would pay him back next time and gave him his phone number, but the driver told him, "Get the fuck out of my cab."

He walked all the way to the airport and got home.

Some times ro...

Movie

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie.

After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.

Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, “The last time I came to the mov...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It cost about 15 million

To shit in someone's bed.

My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, and don’t even mention your obsession with Tennis.

I replied, "That's 15 love."

My house and a grocery store are 15 miles apart and it takes an average person to walk 1 mile per hour

Why does it take my dad more than 19 years to get to the store and back?

I’ve heard the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Which is a shame, because I was hoping to use it as a book title.

I beat my chiropodist at poker, pool, darts, table tennis AND 15 different video games, but at no point did he stop smiling.

The man knows how to deal with de feet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into a bar and ordered a ten-year-old whiskey

After receiving his drink, he tasted it and flagged down the bartender, saying "I asked for 10-year whiskey; this is clearly five year old."

The bartender apologized- "I'm sorry sir, we seem to be out of the 10 then. Did you have another drink in mind?"

The man said "I'll try the 15 ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 drunken challenges - long

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he's drinking his beer when he sees a large jug of money behind the bar and asks the bartender about it. The bartender says they have a running bet that nobody can pass 3 challenges. If you pay $20 and pass all 3 challenges the money is yours. ...

What has 15 actors, four settings, two writers, and one plot?

632 Hallmark movies.

A 15 year old boy comes home with a Porsche

His parents began to yell and scream. “Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” Demanded his parents. “We know how much a Porsche costs!”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

The parents began to yell e...

A mom tells her young son to use a condom when doing the deed.

The son replies, “Mom, I’m only 15!”

The mom then says, “And I’m 30.”

I've just spent the last 20 minutes talking to someone about size 15 Chuck Taylor shoes.

It was a lengthy Converse-ation

I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet!

Most of them only have 4 though

The job market

Talked to a man about a job.
"How much are you paying?"
"Starting pay is $10/hr but it goes up to $15 in 6 months. When can you start?"
"Oh, in about 6 months..."

I took my son to the fair on the weekend…

…and we we’re having a great time. At least we were until I let him go in to see the palm reader. When he came out he was sad and when I asked what happened, he said “She told me that in 15 years I would have one of the worst days of my life after a loss.”

Being the great dad I am, on the way...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new study has shown 85% of men masturbate daily.

Coincidentally, the same study showed that 15% of men are pathological liars.

A distinguished looking man.

A distinguishing looking man in a red tie, a white shirt and dark blue suit, walks by a large official looking building and hears a small group of people gleefully chanting 14, 14, 14!

As he gets closer he sees what he thinks is a hole in the wall. He walks over to and then peeks in to see if...

A woman goes into a restaurant with 15 kids.

The kids start goofing around while she's talking to the waitress. The mom gets impatient and yells, "Eddy! Stop that! Or else!" All 15 boys suddenly sit down, obedient and quiet.

The waitress asks, **"Did you really name all 15 of your boys Eddy?"**

"Yup," says the woman. "Makes it ea...

I am 15 and my GF is 30

Can I still do quests with her or our levels too far apart?
I'm new to World of Warcraft

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes since 15+ years ago.

There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. Th...

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday but a scary looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?

George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighte...

Yesterday I froze myself to -273.15°

And you know what?

I was 0K :)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Steve with 25 inch Long penis to God : I can’t live with this long penis.

God : Go to that Lake,
You will find a Female Frog. Ask her to marry you,
she’ll say No & you will Lose 5 inch.

Steve Went & asked the Frog : will you marry me?

Frog : No

He Lost 5 inches.

He thought 20 inch is still Long.

So he asked again : will you...

Two parents are dragging their 15 year old son to a lion safari.

"Mom, Dad, why do I have to go? I'm 15 and we're going to a frickin lion safari????"

"Son, it's pronounced 'African' Lion Safari."

Fearful father finds an envelope

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
...

Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.”

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.”

“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur, “your brother is 85. He can’t help.”

“He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hotel.

A salesman checked into a futuristic hotel:

Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

"I'm afraid not, sir." The clerk told him apologetically. "But down the hall from your room is a vendi...

My new toothpaste is false advertising

It said, "Guaranteed whiteness in 14 days."

Well, it's been 15 days and I'm still Asian.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A city slicker retires to the country...

Following a successful career on Wall St, Jim buys some land out in Nebraska to live a simpler life.

He has some of the land cleared and a huge, brand new ranch built.

Construction crews finish up, landscapers complete the final touches, and he moves the family in.

The next morn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once there was a man with a 15 inch penis.

He absolutely hated it, because it was too big for any woman to handle. Every time he tried to have sex, he ended up accidentally hurting his partner.

One day he went to the witch at the edge of town and asked her to help him make it smaller. "I cannot do that," said the witch, "But I do know...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.

The only way to relieve the pressure is to rem...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a sperm bank with $15,000 cash and says "I'd like to make a deposit please"

The receptionist tells him "Sir, this isn't that kind of bank, we can't help you with that."

The man goes "shit, that must be why I was getting funny looks when I made my deposit at the other place"

A girl tells her mother after school ‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters!

‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies. ‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ After returning from school the next day the girl tells her mother ‘I am the smartest student in my maths class! I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at about 5’ ‘Well done’ replies the mother again. ‘That’s becaus...

A nurse was dating a doctor and got pregnant.

The married doctor begged her to keep it a secret and asked her to keep away from public eye.

Nine months later,she came to the hospital for delivery.

At the same moment, a priest was admitted for having a large cyst in his prostate gland .

The doctor had an idea. He sedates the...

My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.

His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to pay my tab at the pub but I was 15% short…

The waitress said we could fuck to make up the difference. When I held back most of my dick she asked what the hell I was doing. I told her my bill was paid this is just the tip.

I'm going to freeze myself -273.15°

My friends are worried, but i will be 0K

The blind date

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a few drinks he approaches the bartender, "Hey, maybe you can help me out. I've just got hit with horrible heart burn, gas and stomach cramps, but I can't leave to get anything because I'm supposed to meet my blind date here in 15 minutes and I don't w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

putin walks into a meeting with all his top generals and demands "How is my special operation against Ukraine and NATO Nazis going!?"

The generals all look at each other nervously

"Well...." demands putin "tell me now!!"

The top general stands and says "Well we have been fighting for 4 weeks. We have lost over 15,000 brave soldiers, 6 generals, over 500 tanks and fighting vehicles, 3 ships, 100 planes and drones and ...

What do you call an Irishman who has had 15 beers?

A sober Irishman.

15 sleeps til Christmas...

4 if you do meth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The mayor is worried about juvenile crime in the city, so he orders various groups to do something about it. Half a year later, they meet to discuss their results.

"We reached out to local schools and started youth programs to keep children busy and educate them on better behaviour. Our studies show that crime among participants fell by 15% compared to the control group."

"We increased police presence in affected areas to deter unlawful behaviour. Our o...

Did you hear about the guy who went to the ER with 15 little toy ponies stuck up in his rear end?

Doctors say his condition is stable.

15+15 is thirty

16+16 is thirty too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's 15 degrees outside, what do you do?

You better hope youre not a fucking American!

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Each and every morning of those 15 years, Bob has woken up, farted loudly and proudly, rolled over onto his back and got out of bed to go to work...

And each and every morning for those 15 years, Martha has said to him disgustedly, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

But this has had no effect on Bob as he has continued merrily with his routine each morning.

Martha is totally fed up with this and then one Thanksgi...

After 15 years of marriage you find out your spouse had been with hundreds of men before you got hitched.

Is this a big deal or is my wife overreacting?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.